AIBU for giving my step-niece less than my nieces for 17th birthday?

Does SD not get presents from her birth mother/aunts? .
why would you double up?

I totally disagree. What a message to send out to the poor girl.

My brother has 2 SC & no way would I ever gift them what I do my bio niece/nephew. They are not my family

Why not just give people presents that suit their tastes and personalities?

Your brother is a CF.
Ignore him.

I don’t think giving her £1000 was necessarily the thing , but comparing the nieces £1000 to her £50 makes you look very tight. I think there was probably a sweet spot, but it wasn’t £50.

So does your DN's step mum's family treat your DN's exactly the same? What did step grannie by her grandaugher for her 17 and what did she buy your nieces?

Why on earth does he think its your job to provide driving lessons for a child that has a mum, a dad, a step-dad and extended family on both her mum and dad's side?!
I suspect he opened his big mouth and told everyone that the driving lessons would be arriving and has been caught out. Putting £2000 aside for driving lessons is very different to £4000, if this were 4 biologically related children you may not have been able to budget that and they'd have each gotten 500
He is being ridiculous imo

Your brother, and presumably his wife, are cheeky, greedy fuckers.

O wouldn’t say anything, and I suspect your brother hasn’t said anything to you because he knows he’s being unreasonable even if he is disappointed. He may have had a point if he’d been raising his step children since they were babies, but he hasn’t been. They have their own paternal family to provide driving lessons. You are the only paternal family your nieces have. You didn’t nothing wrong.

That’s a really generous gift. Ignore your brother and other posters here - you are under no obligation to gift a grand to her

I wonder if he'd told DW and/or DSD the 1k was coming?

I'm very much in favour of not leaving one kid without an Easter egg, birthday present etc, but those are small sums. It's different when it comes to more significant financial matters, especially as they get older.

I think the fact the SN has her own Dad and his family involved in her life changes every thing. That's his job to provide for them, not yours. As PP said, your Brother chose to take the kids on, you didn't.
I'm all for blood means nothing when it comes to kids and it's about the child but I think he's mad to think you owe the SDN the same as your own blood.

We give our step niece the same as our niece and nephew. My BIL has been in her life since she was 7 and he considers himself like a father to her.

People talk about fairness etc, say kids should be grateful but it must still smart when you’re present for something then you or your child just gets a lukewarm response when you saw a huge deal being made of someone else. Everyone deserves to be celebrated- you don’t need to spend the same money but you can give the same excitement

My SIL (my DCs step-aunty) doesn’t even give my kids a card and I’ve never questioned it. It’s a bit of a tenuous link. Wouldn’t even cross my mind that she should.

I don’t think £1k is an odd amount to give a niece/nephew
I gave all of mine that for their 18ths and 21sts
I don’t have any step relatives so didn’t have to worry about that
OP what have you done for previous birthdays/Chistmasses

More context needed please ie SD’s side of the family? Are they active in her life? Have they the means to offer a similar gift? If you have the means to offer a similar gift and it would have been gratefully received, I probably would have done so… eight years is a long time and she practically lives with your DB full time!

Do your biological nieces see their own mum because you could look at it that they also have an entire other family too

Your brother is acting like a baby not speaking to you to your face about it. Running off to mum and dad to complain.

Blended families are hard, people expectations of others are so high and often uncommunicated.

I guess it depends on what type of relationship you have, it it’s your money and you can do as you like.

Does the step niece have biological aunts/uncles? Biological father?

Or they have shit life, seeing their parents split up, have to live between homes, live with an adult they have no choice over and that adult’s family treat them like second class citizens

No, it was £50 and other gifts for STEP nieces. Totally acceptable.

I would be interested to know that the step nieces’ dad bought for the OP’s nieces? Do you think he is spoiling his ex-wife’s step children to any degree at all?

Omg!!! For a 17th birthday from an Aunt?! No wonder your brother is upset you have £50 to your step niece! 😱

Driving lessons are much more expensive now. It’s not your responsibility to fund that for your brothers wife’s child. How bizarre of them to assume such a thing.

If he raises it just say the financials on such a gift has changed and it wasn’t feasible.