Page 2 | To think 26 year old dating 19 year old is weird?

ChicJoker · 2026-06-16T04:53:59+00:00

I’ll leave sexes anonymous. I know both parties well, they have been dating for around 2 months. One is my sibling. I feel really really irked by it. It’s weird right?

MidnightMeltdown · 19/06/2026 21:19

MajorProcrastination · 16/06/2026 14:12

If my 18 year old son told me he was dating a 25 year old woman I'd think she was mad. He was wearing school uniform up until his last A level this week.

Age gaps get less gross and weird as you get older.

It's not illegal obvs but there's something a little off about it. 19 with a 21 year old - sure, maybe they're at uni together, maybe they met travelling or at a gig for a band they both love, or they work together in a bar or a bank or on a boat. But 26? Hmm.

School uniform at 18?! Is that a private school thing? Seems weird having grown men still wearing school uniform. Cut off was 16 at my school.

MidnightMeltdown · 19/06/2026 21:15

SleepingStandingUp · 17/06/2026 09:45

Well 19 year olds are typically not long out of education or still in it, living at home and don't have a fully developed brain. 26 year olds are generally in work, possibly living aline or at home with more autonomy and have a fully developed brain.

Show quote history

No, the brain isn’t fully developed until early 30s. 26 year olds are still maturing. Many 19 years olds will be a uni and also living alone of with a couple of housemates. They’re not exactly school kids!

Jumpstreatham · 19/06/2026 19:07

PenelopeJoanSterling · 19/06/2026 18:31

its the judgemental part of society thats the issue

Show quote history

I wouldn't judge anyone for having a toyboy. I just don't think most people want one.

Snufkin88 · 19/06/2026 18:56

No I don’t at all. They are both young adults . A 17 year old yes I would find that weird but 19 is fine for a 26 year old.

dragonsandfairies · 19/06/2026 18:54

I met my husband when I was 17 and he was 25. He was just about to get divorced and he had a 4 year old daughter.
We have just celebrated 30 years together and have 2 amazing adult sons now.

leshirondelles · 19/06/2026 18:48

I was 19 when I met my husband, he was 27. We’ve been together 42 years. Neither of us felt the age gap at all, although I’d never been out with someone so old!

PenelopeJoanSterling · 19/06/2026 18:31

ArtfullyDistressed · 19/06/2026 18:17

But it’s not any kind of psychological term. It was invented by a journalist.

I agree it’s largely a male fantasy. Why would I want to date someone years younger than me? Youth and immaturity are a total turn off.

Show quote history

but not all younger ones are immature, that was partly my point,

PenelopeJoanSterling · 19/06/2026 18:31

Jumpstreatham · 19/06/2026 18:22

I've no doubt it's a real term, and an occasional reality. It's just not common, or we'd see it happening more often.

But if you have your eye on a younger man, don't let me stop you!

Show quote history

its the judgemental part of society thats the issue

Jumpstreatham · 19/06/2026 18:22

PenelopeJoanSterling · 19/06/2026 18:12

the term is very real, psychology today article i guess its a flip from the traditional relationship model https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/articles/201011/field-guide-the-cougar

Edited

Show quote history

I've no doubt it's a real term, and an occasional reality. It's just not common, or we'd see it happening more often.

But if you have your eye on a younger man, don't let me stop you!

ArtfullyDistressed · 19/06/2026 18:17

PenelopeJoanSterling · 19/06/2026 18:12

the term is very real, psychology today article i guess its a flip from the traditional relationship model https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/articles/201011/field-guide-the-cougar

Edited

Show quote history

But it’s not any kind of psychological term. It was invented by a journalist.

I agree it’s largely a male fantasy. Why would I want to date someone years younger than me? Youth and immaturity are a total turn off.

SpaceRaccoon · 19/06/2026 18:15

PenelopeJoanSterling · 19/06/2026 18:12

the term is very real, psychology today article i guess its a flip from the traditional relationship model https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/articles/201011/field-guide-the-cougar

Edited

Show quote history

Despite the title "Psychology Today", that is hardly a serious scientific article.

PenelopeJoanSterling · 19/06/2026 18:12

Jumpstreatham · 19/06/2026 18:06

I'm not sure many people would want to be "cougars" - it sounds more like a male fantasy.

Show quote history

the term is very real, psychology today article i guess its a flip from the traditional relationship model https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/articles/201011/field-guide-the-cougar

Jumpstreatham · 19/06/2026 18:06

PenelopeJoanSterling · 19/06/2026 16:19

how do people define the power imbalance eg a person has their personality, then clocks the years, they meet someone they have the same hobbies with and that person is younger but also fixed personality wise knows what they want out of life and they like the older person and chase the older person, in that situation why does society then say they should be closer in age if they want to date, rather than eg 10 years gap, even though all other aspects match as close as eg life goals, hobbies similar, intrests similar etc ?

for context im thinking of cougar women from the show cougar town and the real life women who get called cougars etc

Edited

I'm not sure many people would want to be "cougars" - it sounds more like a male fantasy.

JackA · 19/06/2026 17:20

I was 19 when I met DH who was 26. I was working full time and renting a flat with a friend so was a fully fledged grown up, there was no power imbalance. We’ve been together for 25 years, very happily.

stichguru · 19/06/2026 16:55

Two of my best friends were 18 and 28 when they first started dating. They are now 60 and 70 and still one of the most happily married and devoted couples I know....

Hesma · 19/06/2026 16:43

My dad was 28 and mum was 20 when they married

PenelopeJoanSterling · 19/06/2026 16:19

how do people define the power imbalance eg a person has their personality, then clocks the years, they meet someone they have the same hobbies with and that person is younger but also fixed personality wise knows what they want out of life and they like the older person and chase the older person, in that situation why does society then say they should be closer in age if they want to date, rather than eg 10 years gap, even though all other aspects match as close as eg life goals, hobbies similar, intrests similar etc ?

for context im thinking of cougar women from the show cougar town and the real life women who get called cougars etc

CherryBlossom321 · 19/06/2026 15:55

This is only my own anecdotal experience, but those I know who met someone 5+ years older, when they were under the age of 20, were in what turned out to be abusive relationships/ marriages. It seems to have been a common thread amongst a number of friends I’ve known and some family. There was a power imbalance.

Dollymylove · 19/06/2026 15:46

Some people must have way too much time on their hands if they are making threads about other folk's consensual relationships with age gaps which are "off limits" to toadys generation, it seems.

They just come across as busybodies gossiping over the garden gate.
They should find something more productive to be getting on with 😬

PenelopeJoanSterling · 19/06/2026 15:20

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 19/06/2026 13:25

Yes this is absolutely vile. Why on earth didn’t the parents step in?

Show quote history

family friend or knew the parents etc ? not saying its right

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 19/06/2026 13:25

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 19/06/2026 12:59

No, sorry, that's very wrong. No 28 year old should be interested in a 16 year old.

Show quote history

Yes this is absolutely vile. Why on earth didn’t the parents step in?

MrsFaustus · 19/06/2026 13:04

Started going out with DH at 19, he is 7 years older. Still married 40+ years later. People today seem to mature later, probably university and entering the world of work later has an impact. I worked from 17 and commuted to London every day.

blubberball · 19/06/2026 13:03

I think it's fine. They're both consenting adults, and the gap isn't that huge any way

emmetgirl · 19/06/2026 13:02

Nah that’s no issue.

MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes · 19/06/2026 12:59

getupdostuffgotobed · 16/06/2026 09:13

My SIL was 16, nearly 17 when she started going out with my BIL who was 27/8 at the time.

Yes, it raised a few eyebrows. SIL is nearer in age to my DD.

But she was an old 16/7. He was a young 27/8. I worked. Still together, 2 children.

True quite a large age gap - but not unheard of.

No, sorry, that's very wrong. No 28 year old should be interested in a 16 year old.