Page 6 | Update to AIBU to refuse Aunt's fwb claim on her estate.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 2026-04-07T16:52:21+00:00

Posting here because it is where I put the first thread. A brief summery is that my Aunt died and her FWB is trying to say that he is entitled to part of her estate because she had asked me to allow him to stay in a house she had invested in for me. Anyway if you want the full story feel free to read what I put on the first thread. Anyway the main thing is that he is now sueing in the courts. I need a bit of a hand hold please. My lawyers have suggested getting a barristers opinion so I am just waiting for that. I wouldn't even mind if it was possible to just go to mediation but he wants the house for the rest of his life and won't consider anything else. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5505433-aibu-to-refuse-aunts-fwb-claim-on-her-estate?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

SheilaFentiman · 26/08/2026 16:27

Homemadevshopmade · 26/08/2026 16:04

Crazy situation !

Who is currently paying the bills ?

Council tax, utilities ?

Cancel the utilities ?

OP stated yesterday - He is paying the utilities. Not rent though. I pay landlords and buildings insurances, gas safety certificate and ground rent.

Homemadevshopmade · 26/08/2026 16:04

Crazy situation !

Who is currently paying the bills ?

Council tax, utilities ?

Cancel the utilities ?

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 15:18

ConstanzeMozart · 26/08/2026 15:14

It is very galling that he didn't even cohabit in any meaningful sense and yet the court is saying that the aunt's estate must house him for life hopefully not very much of that left, when DP and I have genuinely cohabited for 26 years but had to get a civil partnership or married so that we could both have security in our shared house.

Trust me I completely share the frustration.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 15:17

Homemadevshopmade · 26/08/2026 14:52

You could get other people to move into the property or you can move in

Loud music

Loud dogs

Make FWB life hell, they might move out ?

I can't move anyone else in. I don't live close enough to make a lot of noise. This would also be unfair to the neighbours.

OP posts:

ConstanzeMozart · 26/08/2026 15:14

It is very galling that he didn't even cohabit in any meaningful sense and yet the court is saying that the aunt's estate must house him for life hopefully not very much of that left, when DP and I have genuinely cohabited for 26 years but had to get a civil partnership or married so that we could both have security in our shared house.

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 15:03

diddl · 26/08/2026 14:51

I know. I tried to protect my Aunt but it seems I wasn't good enough at it.

But she left a will that seems to have been disregarded-that would be pretty unforeseeable in these circumstances I would have thought.

Perhaps wills need to contain indications of what you don't want as well as what you do?

Although if they are disregarded...

It would have carried more weight if I had reminded her to update it. Unfortunately I never even considered that.

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Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 15:02

BunnyMcDougall · 26/08/2026 14:50

So the court is saying that you need to provide him with enough money to live in a like-for-like property for the rest of his life?

And his solution is that you gift him the property?

It is his preference but when seems a little more willing to compromise since court.

Most likely outcome is he pays a below market rate rent for life. I would prefer a lump sum and am still trying for this.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 15:00

Homemadevshopmade · 26/08/2026 14:13

I agree, I dont understand why you are liable to house this person.

Serve notice in writing to evict them.
Why not agree to pay them some money, so that they can move out & rent somewhere.

If you are the new owner, start charging them rent & bills

Nobody lives for free !

Speak to "Shelter" for advice

Because a court has explicitly stated that my Aunt's estate which I am executor of is. I cannot go against a court order with impunity.

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Goatsarebest · 26/08/2026 14:57

Is there anyway you can speed up his demise. Maybe a new FWB should move in and shag him to death. Or someone who likes cooking mushrooms.
Just an idea.

SheilaFentiman · 26/08/2026 14:56

Homemadevshopmade · 26/08/2026 14:52

You could get other people to move into the property or you can move in

Loud music

Loud dogs

Make FWB life hell, they might move out ?

Given FWB’s actions so far, I would expect him to change the locks when his new housemates were out and await the legal consequences.

Also, not many of us know people willing to move into a house with a stroppy 80 year old, it would hardly be a pleasant living experience.

ETA op has said she lives a long way away so cannot move into herself

SheilaFentiman · 26/08/2026 14:52

diddl · 26/08/2026 14:49

I agree, I dont understand why you are liable to house this person.

Because he has somehow convinced a judge that he cohabited with Op's Aunt (although I didn't think that that conferred any rights!)?

He has convinced a court that he was a dependant of the aunt.

Homemadevshopmade · 26/08/2026 14:52

You could get other people to move into the property or you can move in

Loud music

Loud dogs

Make FWB life hell, they might move out ?

diddl · 26/08/2026 14:51

I know. I tried to protect my Aunt but it seems I wasn't good enough at it.

But she left a will that seems to have been disregarded-that would be pretty unforeseeable in these circumstances I would have thought.

Perhaps wills need to contain indications of what you don't want as well as what you do?

Although if they are disregarded...

BunnyMcDougall · 26/08/2026 14:50

So the court is saying that you need to provide him with enough money to live in a like-for-like property for the rest of his life?

And his solution is that you gift him the property?

diddl · 26/08/2026 14:49

I agree, I dont understand why you are liable to house this person.

Because he has somehow convinced a judge that he cohabited with Op's Aunt (although I didn't think that that conferred any rights!)?

DeftGoldHedgehog · 26/08/2026 14:46

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 14:43

Trust me whilst the court case is ongoing this is not a possibility.

I wish it were.

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Yes, I see he started it. Gah, so frustrating.

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 14:43

DeftGoldHedgehog · 26/08/2026 14:06

How can he have any legal right to be there? It would be cheaper to pay someone to forcibly pack up his stuff, change the locks, evict him to a cheap B&B and pay for a couple of weeks' accommodation while he finds somewhere else to live. And pay a private detective to find out if he has relatives and let them deal with him. I don't care how old he is, the cheeky fucker. Hope he won't be a problem for long anyway, one way or the other.

Trust me whilst the court case is ongoing this is not a possibility.

I wish it were.

OP posts:

Homemadevshopmade · 26/08/2026 14:13

I agree, I dont understand why you are liable to house this person.

Serve notice in writing to evict them.
Why not agree to pay them some money, so that they can move out & rent somewhere.

If you are the new owner, start charging them rent & bills

Nobody lives for free !

Speak to "Shelter" for advice

SheilaFentiman · 26/08/2026 14:11

@DeftGoldHedgehog the judge’s view is that the estate has an obligation to house him
as a dependant of the late aunt. Evicting him from the house would result in his rent having to be covered elsewhere which would probably cost more

ETA OP knows he has relatives, she doesn’t need to pay a private detective

DeftGoldHedgehog · 26/08/2026 14:06

How can he have any legal right to be there? It would be cheaper to pay someone to forcibly pack up his stuff, change the locks, evict him to a cheap B&B and pay for a couple of weeks' accommodation while he finds somewhere else to live. And pay a private detective to find out if he has relatives and let them deal with him. I don't care how old he is, the cheeky fucker. Hope he won't be a problem for long anyway, one way or the other.

SheilaFentiman · 26/08/2026 13:59

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 13:56

I know. I tried to protect my Aunt but it seems I wasn't good enough at it.

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Ah, OP, don’t take this blame on yourself ❤️

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 13:56

diddl · 26/08/2026 13:47

The whole thing is crazy-but that he should be housed in a like for like scenario, for somewhere he has paid nothing to(?) & lived for a very small part of his adult life.

I've been married for 30yrs & only own half of this house!

I know. I tried to protect my Aunt but it seems I wasn't good enough at it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 13:55

SheilaFentiman · 26/08/2026 13:42

Because the estate would still be liable
for housing the FWB until a settlement is reached, and because FWB would be obstructive in the sale process.

Show quote history

This

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 13:55

SheilaFentiman · 26/08/2026 13:31

or the estate? -this case is about the estate and you are executor. You’d not need to pay anything yourself personally for legal costs.

It’s tricky (though very common) that OP is executor and beneficiary though.

If FWB is now deemed to be a dependent/beneficiary of the estate, then I am not sure of the estate’s position on legal costs relating to FWB.

The estate has to contribute to his legal costs. Another reason I want this settled ASAP.

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Original poster

Sleepneededprettyplease · 26/08/2026 13:49

Holdinguphalfthesky · 26/08/2026 13:32

He sounds such a nightmare, and the judge upholding this injustice makes me suspect misogyny. I wonder if there is any campaigning group which might take it on? It doesn’t seem right that a woman’s will can be cast aside because some bloke thinks she owes him a living.

TBH the judge seemed to ignore both female barristers and only listen to the man. I just don't know if I can take a campaign and the time and energy that would take.

Probably sounds wimpish but my egg harvest is in a week now.

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