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AIBU?

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Update to AIBU to refuse Aunt's fwb claim on her estate.

756 replies

Sleepneededprettyplease · 07/04/2026 17:52

Posting here because it is where I put the first thread.

A brief summery is that my Aunt died and her FWB is trying to say that he is entitled to part of her estate because she had asked me to allow him to stay in a house she had invested in for me. Anyway if you want the full story feel free to read what I put on the first thread.

Anyway the main thing is that he is now sueing in the courts. I need a bit of a hand hold please. My lawyers have suggested getting a barristers opinion so I am just waiting for that. I wouldn't even mind if it was possible to just go to mediation but he wants the house for the rest of his life and won't consider anything else.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5505433-aibu-to-refuse-aunts-fwb-claim-on-her-estate?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 28/05/2026 06:23

Sleepneededprettyplease · 07/04/2026 19:59

No he has signed to say he is a tenet and also sent an email asking me to fill in a form as his landlord.

How long has he lived in it?

Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 05:55

Trallers · 28/05/2026 02:53

What a massive pain in the arse he is. I feel so annoyed on your behalf. He must be either a bit dim (so doesn't understand his fixation on the house is going nowhere) or just plain old vindictive.

If you're going to be starting IVF soon (amazing!) it would probably be wise to really limit yourself to how much you think about his horrible man and the house. Outside of necessary legal stuff, perhaps give yourself 5 mins a day to be cross about it and then file it away again and move on!

TBF I am fairly resigned now. I can go days without thinking about it unless there are emails to deal with.

OP posts:
Sleepneededprettyplease · 28/05/2026 05:54

DrMickhead · 28/05/2026 01:10

may I suggest you just ask the angry, menopausal/perimenopausal women who are too hot and bothered for this level of audacity right now to simply go the address and turn it into a scene from the handmaids tail? I think we’d have him scarpering like the vermin he is pretty quickly.

Sounds like a plan 😁

OP posts:
Ohdearnotthisagain · 28/05/2026 05:13

Stand firm!

Trallers · 28/05/2026 02:53

What a massive pain in the arse he is. I feel so annoyed on your behalf. He must be either a bit dim (so doesn't understand his fixation on the house is going nowhere) or just plain old vindictive.

If you're going to be starting IVF soon (amazing!) it would probably be wise to really limit yourself to how much you think about his horrible man and the house. Outside of necessary legal stuff, perhaps give yourself 5 mins a day to be cross about it and then file it away again and move on!

SpidersAreShitheads · 28/05/2026 01:59

What a lovely family member - fingers crossed it goes well for you OP, just what you need to take your mind off this shenanigans, even temporarily! Pleased for you 💐

DrMickhead · 28/05/2026 01:10

may I suggest you just ask the angry, menopausal/perimenopausal women who are too hot and bothered for this level of audacity right now to simply go the address and turn it into a scene from the handmaids tail? I think we’d have him scarpering like the vermin he is pretty quickly.

AcrossthePond55 · 28/05/2026 00:41

Oh wonderful!!!

WallaceinAnderland · 27/05/2026 23:07

Wow, fantastic news, lovely to hear that. And something else to focus on.

SheilaFentiman · 27/05/2026 22:52

Great news on the IVF!

Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 22:35

BTW you have all been so amazing and supportive of me I thought I would give you my one positive update.

A really amazing person in my DH family has offered to help us with the cost of IVF and said that we can pay them back when all of this is sorted. We are drawing it all up clearly and properly but it means that we have an appointment next month to start the ball rolling.

OP posts:
Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 22:32

AcrossthePond55 · 27/05/2026 22:28

Different situation and different country entirely, but my attorney (US) advised me of the same thing. Don't change anything, don't move anything, and don't enforce anything whilst you have an 'active' court date pending. She said that judges don't look kindly on that as they want to be the one to decide all things in a case that comes before them. So just sit tight, it will happen.

Yeah. I get the feeling some judges are control freaks.

Maybe that's just me being grumpy and fed up with the whole situation. I just want to move on with my life. I want to do some of the things my aunt and I talked of together.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 27/05/2026 22:28

Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 18:39

Partly to look reasonable, the judge may be upset at me changing the status quo when there is a set date for them to decide what should happen.

Partly to be extra extra safe in case the judge decides that I need to leave it until everything is decided. If I had evicted him it is faintly possible that I would have to pay his rent until this is finished. Probably not but...

Different situation and different country entirely, but my attorney (US) advised me of the same thing. Don't change anything, don't move anything, and don't enforce anything whilst you have an 'active' court date pending. She said that judges don't look kindly on that as they want to be the one to decide all things in a case that comes before them. So just sit tight, it will happen.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 19:38

WallaceinAnderland · 27/05/2026 18:41

That is frustrating but you'll get there in the end. Is it early August?

Mid August. The 17th.

OP posts:
Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 19:37

2thumbs · 27/05/2026 18:41

‘Counsel’, not ‘council’

Hope this gets sorted quickly for you.

Ooops

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 27/05/2026 18:41

That is frustrating but you'll get there in the end. Is it early August?

2thumbs · 27/05/2026 18:41

Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 18:31

Sorry I meant my barrister. They are called vouvilbfor some reason that I am not very clear on. I have obviously spent far too long talking to lawyers recently as I am starting to pick up their words.

‘Counsel’, not ‘council’

Hope this gets sorted quickly for you.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 18:39

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/05/2026 18:35

Ah that makes sense. Have they said why you should wait?

Partly to look reasonable, the judge may be upset at me changing the status quo when there is a set date for them to decide what should happen.

Partly to be extra extra safe in case the judge decides that I need to leave it until everything is decided. If I had evicted him it is faintly possible that I would have to pay his rent until this is finished. Probably not but...

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 27/05/2026 18:38

What 'interim support' is he looking for. Is it a financial claim against the estate?

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/05/2026 18:35

Ah that makes sense. Have they said why you should wait?

Triskellion75 · 27/05/2026 18:35

Jesus Christ, this fucking guy.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 18:31

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/05/2026 18:29

But if you have a court order, surely its not up to the council when you enact it?

Sorry I meant my barrister. They are called vouvilbfor some reason that I am not very clear on. I have obviously spent far too long talking to lawyers recently as I am starting to pick up their words.

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 27/05/2026 18:31

I think OP means counsel, ie legal team

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/05/2026 18:29

Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 18:26

It was meant to be. However there is now a date in court in August as he is claiming for interim support so my council says that I shouldn't enforce until after that. Argh. I am so frustrated.

But if you have a court order, surely its not up to the council when you enact it?

Sleepneededprettyplease · 27/05/2026 18:26

It was meant to be. However there is now a date in court in August as he is claiming for interim support so my council says that I shouldn't enforce until after that. Argh. I am so frustrated.

OP posts: