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Original poster

To think a 10 year old shouldn't be on their phone at 1am?

42 replies

WhereCanWeBe · 07/04/2024 08:43

NC... My stepchild (just turned 10 last week) has unlimited access to their phone at the residential parents house, all throughout the Easter holidays their last seen on WhatsApp is midnight/1am, latest time this week was 1.40am. My DH checks each morning as he's so concerned. He has spoken to his child only for the child to say they have been allowed a 'late night'. I don't have a child that age myself but surely this is ridiculous?

Before anyone pipes up that it's not my business/it's up to the resident parent then fair enough. I'm just trying to gauge what's normal for 10 year olds and mobile phones!

OP posts:
CeeJay81 · 07/04/2024 09:07

My dd is getting a phone for her 10th Birthday next month but it's staying downstairs when she goes to bed. I would not be happy with her being on what's app at that time.

baubletits · 07/04/2024 09:06

My DD is 10 and she hands her phone over at 8pm when parental lock kicks in and she can't go on anything, 1am is ridiculous.

I'm often surprised at how late some of her friends message her when I check through her phone, makes me feel like I'm the strict parent but to be honest I'm ok with that!

Anonymouseposter · 07/04/2024 09:05

It isn’t normal for a ten year old to be awake at that time or to have free access to WattsApp . It’s difficult to know how best your partner can address this.

PuttingDownRoots · 07/04/2024 09:01

Judging by the fact that my DD last year, at 11yo, commented on the fact that the Yr7 girls WattsApp group was often active to midnight on a school night (when she checked her phone on the morning, she kept deleting the group because it was "boring" and getting readded by well meaning friends), and when did they sleep...

I'd say its actually quite common.

TimeGrabsYouByTheWrist · 07/04/2024 09:01

Any responsible parent wouldn't even allow a 14 year old unlimited access like this!

I hope there are suitable filters in place to prevent access go inappropriate material.

lilythesheep · 07/04/2024 09:00

IMO a 10 year old should not be on WhatsApp full stop. The official rating is 16+. Our primary school has repeatedly asked parents not to allow WhatsApp because of constant issues of bullying, exclusion, inappropriate content being sent etc.

I would also say it is poor parenting to allow phones late at night. Phones downstairs at bedtime is a pretty normal boundary even for much older kids.

In my experience a 10 year old (Y5?) having a mobile phone is very young. The summer term before going to secondary school would be more normal round here.

MuggleMe · 07/04/2024 09:00

I think children of divorced parents often get phones a little early so they can contact the other parent. But it should have restrictions on it. My DD's blocks everything except audio books at 9pm.

Original poster
WhereCanWeBe · 07/04/2024 09:00

Bakersdozens · 07/04/2024 08:59

nothing you can do about it, it is the decision of the parent whose house they are in

Yes I know.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhereCanWeBe · 07/04/2024 08:59

Yes I know.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhereCanWeBe · 07/04/2024 08:59

Jtdoyoveme · 07/04/2024 08:56

Are you sure it’s the child? My 11 daughter has a phone on the understanding that I have full access. She leaves it in my room when she goes to bed. I’m not a great sleeper and sometimes check her phone when I wake up in the night.

your other half could mention this to the resident parent. I would!

Show quote history

This was my suggestion until DH spoke to child who said they are allowed 'late nights' in the holidays.

OP posts:
Bakersdozens · 07/04/2024 08:59

nothing you can do about it, it is the decision of the parent whose house they are in

Original poster
WhereCanWeBe · 07/04/2024 08:57

Sorry I meant to put resident parent, the parent they spend 80% of time with, just so everyone was aware that the child spends most of their time at that house.

I have friends with 9/10 year olds who don't have phones yet, not sure if this is the norm or not. It just worries us what the child is looking at at that time.

OP posts:
Jtdoyoveme · 07/04/2024 08:56

WhereCanWeBe · 07/04/2024 08:43

NC... My stepchild (just turned 10 last week) has unlimited access to their phone at the residential parents house, all throughout the Easter holidays their last seen on WhatsApp is midnight/1am, latest time this week was 1.40am. My DH checks each morning as he's so concerned. He has spoken to his child only for the child to say they have been allowed a 'late night'. I don't have a child that age myself but surely this is ridiculous?

Before anyone pipes up that it's not my business/it's up to the resident parent then fair enough. I'm just trying to gauge what's normal for 10 year olds and mobile phones!

Are you sure it’s the child? My 11 daughter has a phone on the understanding that I have full access. She leaves it in my room when she goes to bed. I’m not a great sleeper and sometimes check her phone when I wake up in the night.

your other half could mention this to the resident parent. I would!

SkyBloo · 07/04/2024 08:55

Wouldn't be normal in my family.

In my house:

  • a ten year old wouldn't have a phone
  • all phones stay downstairs overnight
  • a ten year old would not be up at 1am basically ever.
anonima · 07/04/2024 08:52

I don't think a child should have access to their phone while they're supposed to be in bed, no. It's all harm and no benefit.

Residential parent? Is that a boarding school thing? Or just the other parent?

HFJ · 07/04/2024 08:51

No, it’s not normal. Even if it’s just during the holidays, this will be habit forming and potentially exposing him to content he is too young to see.

CremeEggOverload · 07/04/2024 08:51

That wouldn't be happening in my house.

My 10 yo wouldn't be using WhatsApp at all however.

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