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AIBU?

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Original poster

Lying about facebook

33 replies

Moominsarerealok · 06/04/2024 23:52

I just want to get people's thoughts on this. I'm twice married, first husband was pretty how do I put it. Eh, deceitful and made me quite paranoid, he worked away and left me with the kids constantly, moved me away to a different place then fucked off to work knowing that I was left to deal with the kids.. That was hard, but, to the point, he said time and time again he wasn't on social media, don't go on, I'm no, he was and chatting to other women. Well I've just found out last 2 weeks my now husband is on social media and maybe not doing the same but he never told me and I feel like I've been lied to, he said he deleted it and just now I found out he's still on it, I feel the floodgates open and all the lies and I feel sick because ex done this to me, he can't see this is wrong, what do I do? Am I unreasonable??? 😭

OP posts:
BettyShagter · 07/04/2024 00:03

Why have two men felt the need to lie about something as completely normal as using social media?

betterangels · 07/04/2024 00:02

Maybe he didn’t want to be questioned about it?

He's not your ex and shouldn't be paying for whatever the ex did.

Original poster
Moominsarerealok · 07/04/2024 00:02

MummySam2017 · 06/04/2024 23:59

Is he still on it actively or does he just have a FB acc? I de-activated my FB acc years ago, my partner still has his but doesn’t use it. He says to others he has deleted it. By this he means he doesn’t use it anymore but we are both aware he still has an active acc. Could it just be his wording?

He deactivated it years ago, but reactivated it recently maybe 2/3 months ago without mentioning to me. If we had a talk about it then we could of worked round my feelings but no chat, nothing, it felt quite horrible to me xx

OP posts:
suki1964 · 07/04/2024 00:02

Why can your now husband not use FB? Both me and DH use it, me for work groups and hobbies and for keeping up with whats happening locally, he for his hobbies and buy and sell

Not everyone uses SM for nefarious reasons

TeaKitten · 07/04/2024 00:00

Is he not allowed social media? What’s the issue?

MummySam2017 · 06/04/2024 23:59

Is he still on it actively or does he just have a FB acc? I de-activated my FB acc years ago, my partner still has his but doesn’t use it. He says to others he has deleted it. By this he means he doesn’t use it anymore but we are both aware he still has an active acc. Could it just be his wording?

Ponoka7 · 06/04/2024 23:57

Yes, YABU. However trauma response can result in controlling behaviour. Not telling you because he doesn't want to deal with the fallout, isn't lying to you.

Infinity234 · 06/04/2024 23:54

I think a grown up should be able to have a social media account if they wish. Maybe it’s a reflection on you that he felt he had to hide it?