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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband wanting me to walk away if child is hurt

30 replies

Upsetface · 06/04/2024 17:49

Ds is 16 months. Myself and dh had an awful argument this morning as ds fell dh picked him up for comfort and he reached out for me. DH wouldn't let me take him and then said I should go to the other room as I was preventing him from being able to provide comfort. This erupted as I did leave the room but hovered as it distressed me to walk away and also to be sent away. I don't agree with running in to take over and I have been too anxious earlier on so possibly guilty of this before, but I do think ds should be able to choose comfort from me if I'm in the room. The atmosphere between us is awful now. Aibu?

OP posts:
ItsFuckingBoringFeedingEveryoneUntilYouDie · 06/04/2024 17:59

Your husband had things under control. No need to hover and undermine him. Let him build the bond so you son trusts him too.

pensione · 06/04/2024 17:58

If DS reached for you then you should be able to comfort him.

But it’s also in your self-interest to let DH comfort him, otherwise you’ll be the one doing all the night wakings etc.

Does DH actually comfort ds or does he ignore him?

justasking111 · 06/04/2024 17:57

Sorry I'm with your husband too. My son and my husband have always provided comfort. The other day my grandson was poorly he spent the whole afternoon dozing on grandpa's stomach. It's very sweet. And very useful when you've things to do or other children to care for.

Soontobe60 · 06/04/2024 17:54

How is your DS ever going to know that his daddy can make him feel better just as well as mummy can if you try to take over?
Also, the title of your post implies that your DH wants to leave your DS alone when he’s hurt. That’s not the case is it?

DreadPirateRobots · 06/04/2024 17:52

I think he had a point and you should respect his perspective. He's not proposing you leave your child uncomforted. He's just asking for the space to create a stronger relationship with his own DC without you always stepping in. And it was a tumble over, not a huge emotional trauma. Hovering all the time is pretty undermining.