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She tried to disappear into crowd and hide

38 replies

ToGoOrNotTo · 06/04/2024 16:31

I am a woman. I went on a date with a woman on Wednesday. We had a great time, then she told she was going to a party afterwards and did I want to come… I agreed and it was a nice enough evening.

We'd both been drinking since the afternoon so were a little sozzled by the evening.
I will admit it hit me harder than it did her because I hadn’t eaten and I’m not used to spirits - she’s been raised on spirits!

Anyway, I found myself gently swaying at some point, and I lent on her arm for a second, then I excused myself to get some water and fresh air.

When I came back, I bumped into her while we were both mingling in the crowd with others… I said hi and expected to move on, but she seemed to think I had come to fetch her and wanted her to follow me.

I shrugged and thought fine, I was happy to mingle, but equally as happy to chat to her if she wanted… then as we’re passing through people trying to find somewhere to sit, I see her furtively sneaking off trying disappear into the crowd whilst looking at my back I guess to make sure she could hide herself properly…

Our eyes met for an embarrassing moment, I told her to go and enjoy herself and it was time for me to head home, we said our goodbyes.

I have to say I wasn’t very taken with her manners, it’s easy enough to excuse yourself without trying to hide!

Now she has invited me to a festival Sunday, she said she has a spare ticket and really wanted me to come.

Now, just having checked my account, I see I don’t really have much disposable money left until next payday.

Would it be unreasonable for me to cancel now?
I don’t want to spend my last pounds in the company of someone with what might be poor manners… or maybe she was having an off day?

Or am I in the wrong because I’d had a bit to drink and she was right to sneak off and I should give it another go with her?

OP posts:
Hillrunning · 06/04/2024 17:55

The exchange doesn't really make sense which given you were drunk, does make sense. If she snuck off, how did you say your goodbyes? How could you see her watching the back of you?

DrJoanAllenby · 06/04/2024 17:54

'We'd both been drinking since the afternoon so were a little sozzled by the evening.
I will admit it hit me harder than it did her because I hadn’t eaten and I’m not used to spirits'

And -

'I have to say I wasn’t very taken with her manners,'

Her manners were lacking but you were so drunk you couldn't steady yourself on your feet?

I'm embarrassed for you.

IntriguingFactJumble · 06/04/2024 17:51

I'd text her and say I had fun the other day but I got more drunk than I planned to, sorry about that. Do you still wanna meet before the festival ot shall we set up a quieter date instead? Depending on her answer I'd back away or meet up. 🤔

Ladyluckinred · 06/04/2024 17:46

Mummame2222 · 06/04/2024 17:40

You were really drunk. Are you sure that’s what happened? She’s obviously interested because she’s asked you out again so is there a chance you have this wrong?

My thoughts exactly. I’m also unsure why you’ve been texting since but have not raised this with her. I’d be tempted to say something like “I was looking forward to coming along but I’m sure you tried to avoid me the other night at the club and I now have my reservations”.

Mummame2222 · 06/04/2024 17:40

You were really drunk. Are you sure that’s what happened? She’s obviously interested because she’s asked you out again so is there a chance you have this wrong?

bellezarara · 06/04/2024 17:40

ToGoOrNotTo · 06/04/2024 17:38

She asked me Wednesday and I said yes, it’s only today after checking my account I’m having second thoughts, especially in light of the cringey “sneaking off” moment.

I’m leaning towards this… but I’m wondering… is it perhaps not very nice of me to have said yes days ago, then cancel the day before… she might not be able to get someone else to go last minute.

Edited

Please don’t die in a ditch over this weirdo.

It was a spare ticket, she didn’t buy it for you.

Tell her you’re sick and don’t offer a penny.

ToGoOrNotTo · 06/04/2024 17:38

bellezarara · 06/04/2024 16:43

Definitely don’t spend money on this, it’s going nowhere.

She asked you last minute, don’t be guilt tripped into going.

She asked me Wednesday and I said yes, it’s only today after checking my account I’m having second thoughts, especially in light of the cringey “sneaking off” moment.

I’m leaning towards this… but I’m wondering… is it perhaps not very nice of me to have said yes days ago, then cancel the day before… she might not be able to get someone else to go last minute.

OP posts:
ToGoOrNotTo · 06/04/2024 17:35

AssassinsEyebrow · 06/04/2024 16:43

Regardless of how she felt about you, if someone is drunk - especially following spirits which have been instigated by the other person - at a party which said person has taken them to, then that drunk person shouldn't be abandoned. Especially when that person is a woman.

Basic woman's safety, innit? I wouldn't see her again for this reason alone. 🚩

If the shoe were on the other foot, and it occasionally has been with a friend, then I definitely don’t do that.

OP posts:
AssassinsEyebrow · 06/04/2024 16:43

Regardless of how she felt about you, if someone is drunk - especially following spirits which have been instigated by the other person - at a party which said person has taken them to, then that drunk person shouldn't be abandoned. Especially when that person is a woman.

Basic woman's safety, innit? I wouldn't see her again for this reason alone. 🚩

bellezarara · 06/04/2024 16:43

Definitely don’t spend money on this, it’s going nowhere.

She asked you last minute, don’t be guilt tripped into going.

KreedKafer · 06/04/2024 16:41

I don’t think either of you sound like you’ve got great manners. You ended up off your face. She wandered off to hang out with other people.

I suspect if you see her again you will once again end up hammered while she once again wanders off with other people.

These aren’t really ‘dates’ to be honest, either. It’s partying with a load of other people. You don’t sound that compatible, honestly.

ChanelNo19EDT · 06/04/2024 16:40

If you don't want to go you shouldn't. I think maybe you'd both been drinking, ran out of conversation, it was her friends party and after a long evening, she wanted to mingle. Unless you were really drunk, not talking to anybody then I don't think she did anything too awful. Maybe I'm not visualising it right.
Proceed with caution. Maybe a date just the two of you would give you a better idea of who she is. Maybe say you have plans the night of tge festival but suggest something after you've been paid

PlasticOno · 06/04/2024 16:39

If you were extremely drunk, surely it’s more than likely it was your own behaviour that was embarrassing? But no, you’re not obliged to see her again at any point. Second dates are not compulsory,

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