Should mum pay for the granny annexe?

Even if it doesn't have its own entrance, some councils charge council tax if the annexe has a kitchen and or bathroom. A gentle reminder that you don't have an inheritance or a portion of it until she is dead. ....and yes, by the time the annexe is habitable it may not be suitable.....lots to think about.

@MooMa83 I echo what @bubblesforbreakfast says. I am dealing with the shitshow my sibling created despite me warning them not to. Sibling wanted the big fuckoff house so got my parents to invest ££££ with no legal agreement and then 3 years later asked me to tell my parents they had to move out of their new home (Annexe). They were all shocked when I pointed out it was deprivation of assets and it became clear no one had a clue how much £ my parents had handed over.

Your intentions are good but you need to be really hard headed about this and have a legal agreement in place that covers a range of scenarios. For example if you sadly died or became disabled what would your DH and Mum want to happen?

I agree with a pp find a suitable independent/sheltered living flat near you. The flat should have all the aids to help her, it may provide a ready made community (social isolation is a big deal when you move), 24/7 emergency help, recommended carers etc. plus you will be nearby.

Other way round here, but my DPs converted their garage and suggested I move in and pay them rent. I declined, I've always had my own home, and they are in rude health. DM tried to tempt me by saying what an amazing sports car I could buy instead of buying another house (seriously, I had completed on my house sale and stayed with DPs until my forward purchase completed, was about four weeks).

So, imo, you can't really charge for the works but 100% charge rent. Keep a paper trail.

You need legal advice on the what ifs.....if uou are going to use her mo ey to pay for the extension. And don't assume uou will be a le to are for her to the end. If dementia kicks in, it is very difficult.to manage.

Elderly people can go downhill very fast.

You will be waiting some time to get this done by the time you have plans, builders, etc. it's very possible that by the time you actually get round to doing this she is too ill to cope on her own even in an annexe.

In addition if she needs care and has contributed to this the council will look into this thoroughly as she might be in a situation where she owns part of your home.

This is a minefield and you should proceed very carefully.

I'd think long about this OP. She might be better in her own home with carers.

Over the years we have ramped to 3 care visits a day for my mum, she has become really frail and the space she has in her current home has been vital for the equipment required to help her stand, shower etc.

If you can create enough space fine.

I think you sound lovely.

The only thing I'd suggest is that you get financial advice for you, and your mum also needs financial advice. Tax, funding for care homes, is your mum asset rich / cash poor so rent would be tricky, would her home now be sold or rented etc for you, tax on rental income, cap gains when you sell your home etc

I'd be thinking about scenario building for major events - eg how long the arrangement would be for (long time / short time), what if your mum outlived you or you became unwell, what if your kids needed the annex, what if your circumstances changed and you wanted to sell. How would you feel for her to have new partner move in, another grandchild stay longer term in her annexe etc

Yes, and councils are so cash-strapped they will look very closely into things like this. There's no such thing as an early inheritance and suddenly handing over more money than had been usual (eg annual presents for grandchildren) would be queried.

If you can access the money again it's one thing, but if you can only access it by selling the house then you're putting your own home at risk.

Though reading some of the other comments if she can buy a small, self contained home close to you that’s clearly hers that might be a lot more straightforward. I hadn’t realised paying to adapt a space belonging to a child make it usable for you would also be considered deprivation of assets.

To be honest if your siblings can’t/won’t help out and work is needed to your home to create a granny annexe to allow you to take on the work of caring for your mum then I think they’d be pretty unreasonable to object to her funding that work even if it meant you got benefit from it.

Once annexe has a kitchen too it will be liable for council tax.

I've actually heard of a situation where the mum moved in with her children, and paid for work to be done on the house to make it suitable, but then quickly fell ill and needed to go into a home. The council then looked into her finances and considered she had been trying to avoid using her own money for care expenses.

Obviously it's to be hoped your mum will be able to live with you for many years, but I think her paying you rent is a good way to avoid any difficulties regarding who owns the house. You could look into what is the maximum she could pay and gift you so it helps you pay for the work to be done.

Take some legal advice. What happens if she needs to go into care - would you be forced to sell up as it could be looked at as deprivation of assets?

Have you been a carer for an elderly person already? Take a look on the Elderly Parents board to get an idea what you could be letting yourself in for. It's a massive commitment. She might be independent at the moment and able to cook, wash for herself but at some point she probably won't be able to. Who will wash her clothes, wash her, cook her meals, make cups of tea, provide companionship, take her to appointments, clean this annexe.

Finally, as a child who grew up in this sort of set up, there is no way I'd do it to my own child. It affects everything you do as a family - so most trips, meal or activities out suddenly had to include a fairly immobile elderly person who didn't want to be left home alone. Holidays could only be taken somewhere it was easy to get back quickly, so we only went away within a few hours' drive. Eventually somebody had to stay back with her so we couldn't even holiday as a family again.

This is not true. My LA give a 100% exemption on an annexe used by an elderly relative for CT

I had an annex built for my parents. I paid for the building costs as my parents rented their own home and had no cash available. They then paid me " rent" which just about covered the cost of the second mortgage I had to take out to pay for the annex. Once it was paid off, then they just paid a contribution towards the running costs.

The question of who pays I think it’s fair your mum contributes tbh. But do you want to commit to looking after her? People get old in the blink of an eye, when she needs more care could you provide it, or would that then need to be paid out of the siblings inheritance shares?

Wow!
Maybe this is a cultural clash, but this seems so cold.

Hi. We went there a few years ago and it all ended horribly. In our situation, mum gave us money for her annexe and we wish we'd not accepted it.
Looking back we should have put a formal (if not legal) agreement in place to discuss eventualities eg

• if mum wants to move out/ we want her to move out - she should get her money back plus interest
• roles and responsibilities - who pays for upgrades to the annexe when needed eg a handrail etc to make it old-people friendly? What happens if the roof falls down?

• expectations of care as she grows older. You'll sleep walk into a situation where you're providing more and more daily care as your siblings don't want it to come out of "their" inheritance. Every birthday, Xmas etc you'll be the default.

She will be saving in tv licence, council tax, supported living etc.

She will still need to pay for TV licence and council tax, as the annex will be a separate abode to the main house (assuming own entrance).

Unless your mum has expressed this idea to you it may take her by surprise. Can't your mum get carers in? What exactly is she struggling with? Looking after someone is a HUGE task it's a full time job.

We have DM moving in this year. She has some savings and will be paying to have the en suite converted, basically an accessible shower and moving the loo to make way for it. We are decorating and having new carpets but these will enhance our home, so she’s not paying for those. She will buy her own blinds and bed linen and bring her own furniture.
We are charging her £500 rent pcm.
If she goes to stay with one of my siblings then I will send £100 pw to them for her keep.
If she needs a stairlift or other mods for accessibility she will pay for those herself.

As a more positive voice, I think this is a wonderful thing you are doing for your mum and assume you are going in with your eyes open regarding future care requirements. I would advise you pay for it yourself and your mum contributes to the bills, as it will be adding value to your property and therefore could get a bit messy regarding inheritance split in the future.

I am in the process of buying a house with my parents which has a separate dwelling for them giving them their own space, much like a separate flat. I have a family with young children too, we are very close and I'm fully aware that future caring responsibilities will come to me but we've had very open and honest conversations about this, I think communication is key and you have to discuss money/health and any other potential problems up front.

How long do you imagine selling your dm's house, finding an architect, approving plans, getting planning, finding a builder and getting on their waiting list etc etc etc will take?
It's harsh, but this could take a couple of years and the care needs of someone in their 80's can change an awful lot.
Is there room in the garage conversion for a small kitchen pod in one corner so your mum can make drinks and light meals? It would speed up the whole process and mean she could get the best of you company now rather than at the end of a potentially stressful process.

I think she would be better staying in her own home and getting carers in to help out. I don't think granny annexes are ideal. But if you do decide on this then I think she should pay towards it as presumably she will be selling her house. I don't agree with charging rent.

Surely this is helping your siblings as you are taking on the responsibility of looking after your mother? This would reduce l any care costs until eg she needed to go into a home.

I think she should pay, and the will can be adjusted accordingly eg you get half of the amount deducted and ‘keep’ the rest. I’d be fine/pleased with this if my sibling did this. You all just need to agree this upfront.