Is this normal?? I fucking hope not

Had he not been back for 10 days? Or was he coming and going during that time?

So he’s been arrested, and yet he can still “push” for the police to confiscate your keys?

none of your explanations are making much sense I’m afraid - perhaps you should give the general women’s aid number a call if you don’t want to bother your friend - she’s not the only person who can help you escape the relationship

Why wouldn’t you believe her? It is literally what her post is about. I’ve heard police say some pretty crass things so it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.

What did they literally say though? Like, verbatim. This sounds like a rather dramatic paraphrasing.

Definitely would be a valid point to take issue with their delivery or tone, but some reliable context would be helpful first.

I am sorry this is happening to you.
Are you named on the tenancy?

Very confusing story but I don't think complaining about the police, or to the police, should be your main focus right now.

He has been arrested. You have a window. What are you going to do? To get yourself out of this?

Are you named on the tenancy or not?

I have deadlocks in my house. If someone locked those and then left with the keys I wouldn’t be able to leave the house either. I always keep a key in the deadlock keyhole (on the inside) for fire emergencies because it is potentially a risk if I cannot locate my keys quickly.

Those kind of locks do not have a catch or a handle that you turn to unlock from the inside.

I need a fob key to get out of the main gate of my building. If case of a fire the release mechanism is linked to the fire alarm and it cuts the electricity supply to the door so it opens.

The key situation I get, she is saying she was locked in the flat not the block
in our old block

If the door was locked from the outside I would need my key to open it from the inside isn’t this common ?

the block to get in we needed a fob so we could get out without s key but not in.

I read this as her saying she can’t get out her actual flat without a key

but could get out the block if she could get in to the block which she couldn’t. If she could get out in to block then she could get out but not get back in.

I've never come across a block of flats where you need a key to exit the building. What happens if there's a fire?

I also don't understand why the OP has said she can leave without a key but not get back in, but then says she needs a key to get out. It doesn't make sense.

Sadly I can completely believe the part about the police not taking DV seriously

Just because someone has a mobile it doesn't mean they are able to reach out for assistance.

OP, I hope you have been able to get some sleep. If you don't feel able to bother your friend, (but I'd say, given the circumstances, bother away) then call women's aid. You need advice & quick.

I am so sorry op, I hope that you are safe and that you can get some help from Women’s Aid.
@RicherThanYew I have a friend in a similar situation, I’ve been trying to get her out for years. It is so difficult.

What do you mean what sort, plenty? Shes said today and the last ten days. So could easily mean its happened on and off for ten days and she hasn't said on what days she's only had the bread. How do you know she was happy whilst posting? I've had a phone, not contacted the police and still been trapped in a situation, its not always as easy as people like you make out. Either shes making it up, and what difference does it make. Or she isn't and you are over simplifying her situation and picking holes in in. Not helpful at all.

I'm sorry you're getting a hard time Op. My aunt experienced yet another episode of DV today and was crying down the phone but still does not feel able to leave. Some people really think its as simple as walking out. My aunt is locked in too but refuses help at the moment and told me if I send police it would be catastrophic for her and she couldn't speak to me again.

But you have already stated you can get out now your changing story again "Without the fob you can't let yourself into the main gate or our actual block. So I could get out but not back in" .

Sorry but also what sort of building will not allow residents out of the building without a key fob/key? As some one already said you were locked in a building against your will forced to eat bread for 10 days and you have been happily posting on MN all the time and now don't want to leave as the police advised?

Why did you not call the police to release you in those 10 days?

Not adding up still I'm afraid.

Get a second key cut, buzz other flats when you need to come in. Or contact the landlord. There must be ways to get another fob - what do people do if they lose a fob.

You’ve been locked in for the last ten days? During which you have been contributing to banal mumsnet threads, and also got released from hospital?

OP if he's locked up then can you stay put until a decent hour and then leave before he returns?

Is it that as the lead tenant he has said you have no right over the keys, so the police aren't returning them to you and although you can get out, you can't get back in without the keys and don't want to leave as you have nowhere to go tonight?
And so police have advised that if you do leave tonight to sleep rough?
Did they arrest him for the assault tonight? It seems odd they would attend, wait for him, arrest him and then tell you to go and sleep in the park after locking him up.
We're all just trying to understand the situation.

Why didn’t you phone someone to help you get break out of the flat? Had he taken your phone, how did you contact the police? Could you get a second key cut and hide it, has the landlord got a second ‘fob’?
None of this makes any sense at all. You seem to be making hypothetical suggestions about other vulnerable people, were the police confused about your circumstances?
Maybe you could clearly explain what your circumstances really are so that people could suggest how best to help you, rather than speculating about what you really mean.

Well yes of course there's an intercom. That allows you in if there's someone to answer. Plus you need a key

So you need a key to open your door from the inside to let someone in using the intercom?
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