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Original poster

Being given raw broad beans to eat....

85 replies

Ilivetosleep · 05/04/2024 22:13

I've had an experience today that I am genuinely perplexed by and I want to see if people think I have been unreasonable. Its quite long and I'm tired. But I will shorten the story as much as I can. We have travelled abroad for a major family holiday (think big 50th). All the inlaws including us. We stayed one night at MIL & FIL house as our flight came in really late. MIL kindly cooked the kids a meal they requested which was very carb heavy. All their meals are like this TBH. But as we were going to air bnb later I just agreed to eat this. I have a gastric ulcer meaning I have to really restrict my diet. Anyway went off to the air bnb but it hadn't been cleaned and we complained. They agreed to sort the flat and we returned to MIL house. Again she had cooked a very carb heavy meal.

Next day DH wanted to stay and have lunch there before we go back to the air bnb. Again they cooked a very carb heavy meal. I really don't want to be rude as I know they have let us stay with them. But by this point I've got serious gastric reflux and feel awful. I said to Dh maybe we can buy some cooked chicken and I can have this with salad and he agrees but he goes to 2 markets and finds none.

So again we sit down to eat. I have said nothing about not eating the food. I decided to just shut up and eat a little and not be impolite. MIlL starts to dish up the food. Then DH goes oh she can't eat that. MIL gets all flustered and asks me why didnt tell her I was on a diet and she could have cooked some beans and salad. She offers to cut me up carrot sticks.... so I say. Its fine there's no need to fuss. I will eat what I have. Then my FIL goes into the fridge and picks up a bag of raw unpeeled and unprepared Broad beans and puts these in front of me. I was so shocked. I got really embarrassed and said that I am OK. And thanked her for the meal and left the table.

Afterwards
Dh had a massive go at me that I am always disrespecting his family and I was so rude to his parents.

quick add..... its really hard telling FIL/MIL that I don't want to /can't eat their food as their entire days is focused ocooking g for the family. Today they had a major argument over it proper shouting and screaming at each other. They also do not know about my ulcer as I am waiting for a operation and if they know they would talk about it all the time. And I don't want them to do this ad I was hospitalised and the kids were very scared. They would speak about this information of the kids.
.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 05/04/2024 22:28

crackofdoom · 05/04/2024 22:25

Just read your update. You shouldn't have said you'd eat what they served and then refused what they served!!

Equally, your DH should have mentioned the ulcer to them.

I didn't refuse their foot at all. I sat down to eat with them. I didn't say or refuse anything. DH did without my knowledge. But they way he went about it was they were serving me up too much food and they then presumed I was on a diet. Which I'm not.

Yes Mediterranean country.

In reference to thier food cooking argument. It was pretty bad. To the point where I had to get in the middle of it as I genuinely thought FIL was gonna throw the boiling sauce all over MiL.

OP posts:
PrincessTeaSet · 05/04/2024 22:26

somptuosité · 05/04/2024 22:22

I sort of understand your frustration but you also come across as the sort of person that I would clash with.

I don’t think your FIL meant to be rude. He may eat raw green beans, many people do.

If it were me (knowing their diet disagrees with you) I would have made sure I said I’m on a diet and bought my own food.

Edited, I just read you think FIL did the green bean offer incredulously. If this is the case, FIL was childish. But tbh the entire few days of enduring an upset stomach was so unnecessary imo.

Edited

Oh come on no one eats raw broad beans still in the pod. It would be like giving the op a whole raw onion or an unopened tin of lentils. OP hadn't even asked for anything. It was very rude of the fil especially as he wasn't even the one who was in charge of cooking. The husband sounds quite rubbish here, causing problems then blaming op.

crackofdoom · 05/04/2024 22:25

Just read your update. You shouldn't have said you'd eat what they served and then refused what they served!!

Equally, your DH should have mentioned the ulcer to them.

Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 05/04/2024 22:25

somptuosité · 05/04/2024 22:22

I sort of understand your frustration but you also come across as the sort of person that I would clash with.

I don’t think your FIL meant to be rude. He may eat raw green beans, many people do.

If it were me (knowing their diet disagrees with you) I would have made sure I said I’m on a diet and bought my own food.

Edited, I just read you think FIL did the green bean offer incredulously. If this is the case, FIL was childish. But tbh the entire few days of enduring an upset stomach was so unnecessary imo.

Edited

Thanks for your response. He has never in the 30 years I've been with DH has eaten raw beans. The reason I didn't say wnythi g is because we were only meant to be staying rhe one night. And I really don't want them to know about my health problems.

OP posts:
crackofdoom · 05/04/2024 22:22

Ummmm....was this Italy or another S. Mediterranean country by any chance?? Just that it all sounds very familiar.

If so, the argument between FIL and MIL probably wasn't that bad. And you have to use your words and ask for what you need quite assertively.

DH should have stuck up for you though.

Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 05/04/2024 22:22

LaMarschallin · 05/04/2024 22:21

(think big 50th)

Is it a big 60th?

No. Why?

OP posts:
somptuosité · 05/04/2024 22:22

I sort of understand your frustration but you also come across as the sort of person that I would clash with.

I don’t think your FIL meant to be rude. He may eat raw green beans, many people do.

If it were me (knowing their diet disagrees with you) I would have made sure I said I’m on a diet and bought my own food.

Edited, I just read you think FIL did the green bean offer incredulously. If this is the case, FIL was childish. But tbh the entire few days of enduring an upset stomach was so unnecessary imo.

LaMarschallin · 05/04/2024 22:21

(think big 50th)

Is it a big 60th?

Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 05/04/2024 22:20

Dh didn't tell them I have an ulcer. I told him I would eat what they serve and thats fine. DH started to tell them I can't this food. They got annoyed that they thought I was on a diet and FIL gets raw beans out the fridge and places the whole bag in front of me and tells me to eat this instead.

OP posts:
Popchippps · 05/04/2024 22:17

So your dh told them you had a gastric ulcer so needed to eat x,y,z type food and they served you food you can’t eat?

or no one told them and their mind reading abilities failed and they served unsuitable food?

Edit can’t see you didn’t tell them about the ulcer 🙄