Being given raw broad beans to eat....

Unless I've missed something, there seems to be so many dilemmas that wouldn't occur if people (and families) were just honest with each other! How many times I've had to say thanks, I'd love it but If I eat it I'll be shitting for days.

Shitty behaviour from fil. Meant to be saying you were insulting them somehow.

Even shutter behaviour from dh afterwards.

But, thsy didn't know, they tried, but got it wrong. But then they forgot their manners.

Nobody eats a bag of raw unwashed broad beans unless they have a special thing for it (I have a pal that eats bags of garden peas. She's weird. She knows it).

Cbalk it up to shit happens. Hope your stomach is OK!

I'm intrigued. Are all these "carb heavy" meals various pasta dishes? 🍝

The chicken example didn't do you any favours. It's not remotely similar. The beans are eaten raw.

Your DH should not have stirred though at first.

“Primo maggio, fave e formaggio”
It’s a well known delicacy when Italian people go on their May Day picnic.
Big velvety pods that yield about 4 beans each, a tiny amount of salt to dip them in and a hearty chunk of mature cheese.
Your PIL probably thought they were giving you a treat, almost a month ahead of time.
They’re perfectly edible, just like fresh peas from the pod.
But if you’re struggling with digestive problems you know what you can and can’t eat.
Just tell them. And DH should shut up about disrespect.
(although a strong liqueur is often the cure-all!)

I think if you made it clear you have a medical issue, they'd have gone above and beyond to make sure you are well catered for accordingly. And it would have been no bother to them whatsoever. All they want is to feed their guests/ family the best way they know how.
They didn't gave a clue what the situation was and they did the best they knew how. Beans was the only available healthy' stuff at the ready and, possibly, FIL is not the cook but wanted to offer you something as near to what he thought you could gave as possible

Um, are you in Italy? At this time of year raw broad beans are eaten, and this might have been seen as a natural pure kind of food, if you are having to watch what you eat - maybe this is just misunderstanding, because they don’t know what you need?

Italy.
And eating them raw is mainly how they're consumed.
At this time of year it's totally normal at the end of a meal for a huge pile of broad beans in their pods to be plonked in the middle of the table and everyone digs in. Especially when they're still small so sweet and tender.
Presume that other southern med countries do the same.

Same in Eastern Europe, I.e. Poland- we'd eat it like that- very healthy . You also would have expected to be more assertive/ say what the issue is or the strategy of eating very little/ eating just a few mouthfuls would have been read as rude.

I think he just wanted to give you something that is not that carb heavy and have you what they had in.

Or because it is a normal thing for him (as it was for me growing up and anyone I know).

Because he doesn't seem to like you very much.

I come from a Mediterranean country and eating raw broad beans is very common. Typically you get a pile of unprepared pods and you work your way through them (ie peeling them then eating them etc etc similar to what you might do with fresh peas) whilst having a chat etc. So it might be very normal for them.

Actually that's true, it was DH sticking his oar in that made everything so much worse.

I get that it's uncomfortable, I used to find myself in similar situations when I lived in Italy/ Greece, and so did English friends. (I learnt, eventually, and for a while when I came back to England I would frighten people with my loudness and vehemence until I readapted 😆) They would have been expecting you to be far more assertive about what you wanted.

You don't have to tell them about the ulcer, just "the doctor has put me on a special diet so please don't cook for me I'll get something at the shop"

Well your FIL was rather passive-aggressive yes, but your DH was an arsehole. Out of nowhere saying you couldn't eat something when you'd already said you'll grin and bear it, then blaming you for his parents feeling uncomfortable. He caused this.

Know I am being a prat, but where the feck are broad beans in season this early in the year?

Well, if you don’t know then to know about your health problems and if you tell them you are happy to eat anything them what exactly to you expect them to do to accommodate you?

The OP didn't refuse to eat what they had served.. why is reading comprehension so bad on MN??

She offered to do something else. You declined. FIL probably overreacted. All this could have been avoided if you'd taken food or told them what you can eat. Seems your MIL would have made you something. DH needs to chill.

Ilivetosleep

No. Why?

Because when someone posts "Think X" I always assume it's something a bit like X, but not actually X itself.
Still. Probably not relevant anyway to the broad beans under discussion.