Being given raw broad beans to eat....

I could understand not talking about your ulcer if it didn’t seem relevant. But you were visit family in a place that reads like it’s a very ‘food is love’ country. So you knew you’d be fed well and often, and you knew it would have an effect on your health. It was on you to be clear about this.

Need to know what the carb heavy meals are.

What do you actually want to eat? Presumably not chicken for breakfast, lunch and dinner?😕

The OP says both she and her husband are from the same country.

Or a Mediterranean country in broad bean season.

My uncle always said an ulcer isn’t from what you are eating, it’s about what’s eating you.

You have tied yourself in knots with all of this. You could tell them you have stomach issues in an easy way like you would tell a child, no need to mention a surgery or anything at all and it would smooth it over. They will all calm down.

Good luck.

This is a cultural problem, I had an ex from Macedonia and over there people often ate raw beans and also they ate onions like apples.

I think you have created this situation. Why didn't you email before your flight and tell them "hey I'm actually sick with an ulcrr right now so although you know I love your food and you are making your delicious carbon feast for the kids, can you help me out?! I need to be eating really non carbby stuff over the next few days".

Also your husband knew you were suffering and you sent him out to get chicken, he came back empty handed. How unimaginative is he? That's ridiculous.

You are misdirecting your anger

YABU to expect them to understand if they don’t know about your operation, are older and clearly from a different culture.

YANBU not to eat what they cook if it makes you ill. The beans thing was weird but I think they can be eaten raw, so not necessarily intended as a huge insult.

I didn't expect anyone to cater to my food needs. I have not posted that anywhere

You can't fuck around with ulcers out of politeness though OP. Speak to get your needs met.

Your FIL sounds like a bit of a twat. I probably won't be visiting with husband again for a bit if you're not able to express what your needs are. For your own sake.

They are not in the UK, they are in a Mediterranean country, so the seasons will be different for broad beans.

yes they do. They are lovely when small and eaten whole in the pod. With it being Mediterranean and they are an early crop, my first thought was had they grown them

I think you need to apologise to them all, and you need to be honest about your health situation.

The beans weren't the equivalent of raw chicken - and what an insult that was to his parents. The ILs did their best to provide something you could eat, without knowing why you couldn't eat what they had prepared, without knowing what you could eat.

You've caused your ILs to feel they've done something wrong, and upset them and your H.

For what?

What have you gained here?

You've been rude and inconsiderate. You know they like to feed people and that meals are a huge part of their way of life. It is rude to withhold dietary information from people you are staying with and forcing them to guess what you're able to eat. A little self awareness on your part would go a long way here.

It's not assertive to state your needs and the reason for them in this case. It's common courtesy.

I think you need to stop being so precious about your ulcer, and tell them. I don't see the issue with them talking about it.

As things stand, they think you're some kind of a rude, fussy eater who rejects their food, and they are going to be hurt that you didn't tell them about your health issue when the story inevitably comes out.

You're painting yourself into corners here left and right, for no discernible reason.

In your shoes, I'd make a clean breast of it.

Also, we grew broad beans when I was a child, and often ate them raw straight from the graden. In fact, sitting in the garden.

what? I love raw beans still in the pod, so do many people - in the allotment we eat them as we pick them often enough, so do other people

Well, how did Fil do that? Was he looking like he's trying to accommodate you or was he looking offended/ upset?

Row chicken is no comparison. Most veg is edible row, including onion and garlic (someone mentioned!).

I think your husband reacted the way he did, because he was himself frustrated - may be he had just listened to his parents discuss your lack of appetite during the previous two meals?

🤣 nice one!

Then my FIL goes into the fridge and picks up a bag of raw unpeeled and unprepared Broad beans and puts these in front of me.

That’s hilarious. Sounds like Fawlty Towers or Ab Fab.

I can't stand people who sit their saying nothing but it's clear from the look on their Po face that they are unhappy.

Maybe they didn't like the look of your face as they sat down to eat as mealtimes are usually a joyous occasion.

So you’re equating the broad beans with raw chicken as they were ‘unprepared’ but plenty of PP are saying this is a normal way to eat them in Italy. So maybe your FIL wasn’t trying to insult you he was genuinely trying to help.

I get it I’ve had most of my colon removed due to bowel cancer and there are things I now can’t eat. And this seems to cause a problem for other people, especially if they are very food focused. Occasionally you just want them to shut up and stop playing 20 questions - what about onions/strawberries/apples/etc etc - but they are almost always coming from a place of kindness where they want to serve you something nice that you can eat.

They’re part of your family so I would probably tell them what is going on. I don’t think it has to be scary for children, just be straightforward with the information. In my experience kids cope with parents going to hospital, having cancer treatment etc. I don’t think you need to be all secret squirrel about an ulcer.

Sounds like a very tense situation all round and the reveal that you couldn't eat the food caused the whole thing to blow up unnecessarily.

Is your DH always so tense with his parents? A last minute 'oh I'm currently having some digestion issues, nothing serious but unfortunately I can't eat your delicious pasta dishes this weekend until I'm better. Thanks ' would have avoided a lot of bother.

Your FIL probably thought the whole scenario was ridiculous.

Honestly, it sounds like you're way overreacting. DH obviously didn't help. But he said you couldn't eat the food they served you, so they gave you another lovely and healthy thing to eat.

As always, honesty would have been the best policy.

When visiting the in-laws in Italy I used to love eating raw broad beans straight from the pod accompanied by a few slices of parmesan or pecorino. This was offered at the end of a meal.

Yes, you certainly can Cheese! Best eaten sitting in the garden on a hot summer day. Really looking forward to them now.

You all sound a little odd but your husband sounds downright nasty.

Now I want to try raw broad beans ! Can you get them in the UK ?

I don’t think I’ve ever eaten broad beans other than like this. No better lunch than a pile of broad beans with some hard cheese and a glass of chilled white wine, but I’ve eaten them on their own too.

Bizarre. You didn’t tell them you had an issue. Then your husband complained on your behalf. You got beans. You left the table.

so many weird actions here, you’re all bizarre