To think posters should stop telling concerned parents their child doesn’t have SEN

I agree, pisses me off so much. Especially the “My uncle’s brother’s friend’s wife didn’t speak until she was 5 and now is a barrister” stories. Maybe it’s true but mostly likely hugely exaggerated. And very unlikely to be true for the vast majority of children with no understanding/ use of gesture etc!

I’ve had people telling me my son is fine ever since I raised concerns at 11 months (he wasn’t babbling). Guess what, at 26 months he has only 5 words, a massive delay! He can’t repeat words or even single sounds with any degree of accuracy and SALT are now considering a Apraxia of Speech diagnosis.

Yabu.

People asking on mn aren’t asking qualified professionals. They are asking member of the public for their opinions. Opinions are based on your own experiences.

If you have experienced similar behaviour and it wasn’t autism, your opinion is a valid as people saying it is.

You use an example of someone coming back and confirming it was autism. However, that’s one example. How many people have been told it sounds like their child probably does have autism but doesn’t? We don’t know. One case of someone coming back proves nothing.

My experience is that posters here are very likely to suggest it very quickly. Rather than say it’s not.

A HV told me my son wouldn't make it to 'normal' school.
He was two.
He sailed through school and has a masters degree. He works in international relations.

He's absolutely fine.

Diagnosing pre school children is incredibly difficult, which is why professionals are reluctant to diagnose before 7.
And yes, I have a post graduate qualification in SEN.

I do remember the HV telling us his pincer movement was a problem - when I knew his pincer grip was actually pretty good - he just didn't want to eat raisins (didn't like them) out of her hand (didn't approve of food sharing/strangers touching his food with bare hands)...

I agree but equally it does work the other way: you get posters saying that their child has sailed through the 2/3/4 year checks and no concerns raised at school or nursery but they must have autism because of some arbitrary detail and why haven’t you seen your GP yet OP

Mumsnet is not a replacement for a proper assessment. People ask because they are looking for similar experiences. There are more children “diagnosed” on this site than people who say not to worry.

If you think there is an issue with your child then you need to look for help with professionals.

You are being a bit unreasonable

OK, but the other side of that is when my DS was 2 and barely talking, it wasn't an indication of anything, and I needed to hear that.

Of course the things that were indicators of his dyspraxia (having to be taught to put on his own trousers, unable to feed himself at 3) I totally missed, thinking they were just his quirks - although still the OT wouldn't diagnose him at 5 (although did work with us with therapy), because it was too early for an official diagnosis.

Unfortunately the person telling me my DD is 'normal' is my DH (her dad) 😭 so having to push for assessments myself and we can't get on the same page when it comes to parenting as he doesn't see that she needs parenting differently to our 2 other DC

Well, not to be rude but I wouldn't come to MN for any kind of psychological or medical diagnosis- its not some random online stranger's responsibility to diagnose a child so how on earth can anyone then feel "upset" about it afterwards. It's fine to ask opinions but to get actually upset that online strangers didnt get your diagnosis right is frankly, utterly ridiculous.

I suppose the difficult thing is that the normal range is huge and by itself, most symptoms aren’t usually something to indicate sen; it’s just when there are lots of them.

Some parents will also see things as normal because it’s what they did or their child did/does without realising they and/or their own child has sen.

I agree. I knew there was a strong chance my son was autistic and well meaning friends would say ohh he's too young to label. HV sent me to the BBC website to learn how to play people games with him (🙄🙄) . It really diminished what I was experiencing which was complex and multi faceted. My son is 5 and non verbal with significant challenges. He hasn't "grown out" of it.

To be fair I also used to comment on threads “Sounds like my son, normal to me’

both kids went on to be diagnosed with sen! In spite of all professionals involved saying my kids were NT.

This is a parenting website not a medical one. There may be people on here who say they have medical degrees but what proof is there?

Never trust anything medically or legally on a forum page. Always seek professional people.

Totally agree.

My DSs difficuties were down played. Being told by friends ‘it’s because he’s a boy’ or ‘my newphew is worse and his parents are struggling to get a diagnosis’.

It was so unhelpful. If as a parent your instincts are saying somethings not right then seek help from professionals.