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AIBU?

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Original poster

I don't want to be tracked by my husband's ex-wife

134 replies

gotellitonthemountain · 05/04/2024 18:51

My stepdaughter has just got her first phone. Her mum has put a tracking app on it, which my husband also has access to.

I just don't feel comfortable thinking of SDD's mum following our every move on the days she is with us.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Rainrainrainrainrainrainrain · 05/04/2024 22:18

Arconialiving · 05/04/2024 18:58

I track all my DCs! I'm still married to their dad, so no step parents involved, but it's purely for their safety (& my peace of mind!)

Tracking doesn't keep them safe . All it does is telling you where their phone is

socks1107 · 05/04/2024 21:34

Yanbu and you can turn off the tracking when she arrives at yours. I'd have hated this

Spirallingdownwards · 05/04/2024 21:33

When she is with you and her dad she can turn it off. If she is going out without you then she can turn it on. It is that simple.

2chocolateoranges · 05/04/2024 21:33

I wouldn’t be too impressed about it either. I don’t want people knowing my every move. She’s With her dad so there is no need for the app to be on when she is with her family.

i have a friend who is on that life 360 app with her 17yr old daughter and I hate that when we go out for the night for dinner her dd can check and see where we are. She’s messaged before and said oh I see you’re not in the restaurant but in the pub, it totally puts me off going out with her with our every move being tracked.

CurlewKate · 05/04/2024 21:31

I am firmly anti tracking and I think most of the reasons given are hugely disingenuous. But if he mother wants to track her that's up to her

Annielou67 · 05/04/2024 21:25

I’m firmly with the OP. Is this really about the child’s safety? Surely the child is safe with dad? This is probably a comfort layer for mum. Youngsters are so accustomed to being watched all the time. I think it is really unhealthy.

Workworkandmoreworknow · 05/04/2024 20:39

we use the life360 app as a family so that we know where one of my children, who is type 1 diabetic, is. I didn't like the idea of tracking but when he one day was reading as hypo and not picking up his phone, I suddenly saw the benefit of it and we've been on it ever since. It has it's uses.

Is there a reason you assume the ex will be sat glued to the app when her daughter is with her father?

BananaLlama123 · 05/04/2024 20:35

I have all three of my kids on findmy iPhone thing. Mostly so I can find the damn phones when they leave them in ridiculous places.

jeaux90 · 05/04/2024 20:27

YABU

user1567879667589 · 05/04/2024 20:25

BelindaOkra · 05/04/2024 19:03

Yes this. How old is she? 11 year old fair enough, by mid to late teens - eek

Show quote history

Not necessarily - our older teenagers play lots of sports, meet friends in town or other places requiring lifts…its really handy to be able to see where exactly they want picking up from as teenage directions leave a lot to be desired sometimes! They also like it as they can see where I am so don’t have to stand outside in the rain waiting.

It’s also come in handy when I got a bike puncture in a remote place - DH could see where I was easily.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 05/04/2024 20:20

Imfreetofeelgood · 05/04/2024 18:53

It's not about you.

This.

I can't even believe this is real.

OP, you are being massively unreasonable. A lot of parents have tracking apps on their kids phones. For safety. Thankfully, my DD doesn't have a step parent. I'd be bloody furious if she did and they made it about them, though.

Sirzy · 05/04/2024 20:16

Worried8263839 · 05/04/2024 20:14

These answers would have been totally different if you were the mum and didn't like the dad/step mum tracking the DDs phone. Step mums can never complain or have concerns about anything...

My response would be the same, and in this case both parents have access anyway

Worried8263839 · 05/04/2024 20:14

These answers would have been totally different if you were the mum and didn't like the dad/step mum tracking the DDs phone. Step mums can never complain or have concerns about anything...

xyz111 · 05/04/2024 20:01

Even if she was interested about where you are going, so what??

unicornsarereal72 · 05/04/2024 19:47

The only time I have checked my kids phones when they have been with their dad was when they misplaced their phones there. I don't much care what they are up to in their time there.

RecycleMePlease · 05/04/2024 19:27

I track my kids - I only actually look when I'm expecting them home, but I do it because DS2 wanted the re-assurance that I would always be able to come and get him.

If you're worried, you could always ask her to leave it at home?

haveyoutriedturningitoffandonagain · 05/04/2024 19:22

cryinglaughing · 05/04/2024 18:58

Tell her to leave it at home when you go out 🤷🏻‍♀️

Or leave her at home when you go out

OhmygodDont · 05/04/2024 19:22

Hell my children’s phones can track my phone. It’s a mutual sharing thing. Means they could find me if I’m lost too 😂 or if they lose me somewhere I guess.

cadburyegg · 05/04/2024 19:21

YABU

OhmygodDont · 05/04/2024 19:21

It’s a genral safety thing on her phone. Unless you regularly take her phone without her she’s not tracking you. You tracking the phone. Honestly nobody is sitting there tracking a phone 24/7 it will be for if it gets lost or when the daughters out alone if she just pick up or sends an sos message.

saveforthat · 05/04/2024 19:17

cryinglaughing · 05/04/2024 18:58

Tell her to leave it at home when you go out 🤷🏻‍♀️

This

IncompleteSenten · 05/04/2024 19:17

She can always leave her phone in the house when she's out with you. She doesn't need that extra safety layer if she's out with you and her dad.

mondaytosunday · 05/04/2024 19:16

She's tracking her not you. Anyway what do you care? I'm sure her mum can just ask her 'what did you do at dad's'?

TheSnowyOwl · 05/04/2024 19:14

If she is young enough to need a tracker on her phone then she is likely to have very limited and strict use to it, so it won’t be with her most of the time.

I very much doubt her mother has any interest in where you are, just like her father doesn’t check in to see where her mother is. It’s just about having peace of mind over the safety of the child.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 05/04/2024 19:11

I mean, I actually got stalked by my husbands ex so maybe I’m not the best example but I wouldn’t like it
there isn’t anything you can do, though once they get snap chat etc all their friends are following them all over the place and it is what it is!