I don't want to be tracked by my husband's ex-wife

Do kids get their first phone at 8?

Like, how the fuck did we all survive as kids?

I'd hazard a guess that the majority of posters who can't understand why this is a problem for you aren't stepparents. It's hard enough having someone's ex in your life, constantly judging everything you do. I'd hate this too. I hate that the bitch even knows where I live.

Can you turn the tracking off when she's at yours or leave the phone at home?

I genuinely don't understand how tracking your children "keeps them safe".

If it's something they want to do, would they be willing to leave their phones at home?

If they aren't, then maybe it's not things they are particularly interested in anyway.

Edited to say that I realise the last sentence could sound snarky, but it's not meant to. It's just an observation. If someone said to me 'you can go to this amazing place you really want to go to, but you can't take your phone', I would. And I'm phone addicted!

Yabu. She not tracking you. It's not about you

Disable it when she's with you.

It would worry me if she wanted to track my phone. But she doesn't. She's tracking her daughter. You're overthinking this I'm afraid unless you lead some kind of exciting alternative life where you go to secret locations.

FWIW we have all of our family on find my friends. No one seems to care. Other than the odd text from mum MIL who notices I'm in a different office we don't even remember it's on!

This tracking is evasive

plus what would mum do if she does turn it off complain then you’ll have your answer. who’s she really tracking

plus why the hell would an 8 year old have a phone

That can be turned off so you can’t be tracked

What danger will befall this step daughter that her dad and step mum will also succumb to, but her mum will be somehow be aware of and also able to remotely resolve?

I agree and I disagree @YaMuvva . Children today are growing up knowing their are being tracked. Parents convincing themselves that they have to track their kids to "keep them safe" or "it's the right thing". Based on what? I find it creepy and weird. My parents cared about me before the ability to track was there. Children are becoming young adults defaulting their safety to parents who are tracking them. We aren't equipping them in the same way as we should. I'm really concerned about the tracking mentality. And that doesn't make me less of a good parent.

Is her mum tracking her all the time or is the app on the phone for locating your step daughter in an emergency (or her phone if she loses it)? We have Life360 on my daughter's phone but we don't open the app to see where she is unless we need to, we certainly don't track her movements with it.

Your husband can most likely turn off the app from tracking when your step daughter is with you, just turn it back on when she goes back to mum.

Is the mum okay with your husband tracking her through the daughter?

how would the mum know of you are there or not - what age is the daughter and is she with you exclusively the whole time she is with her dad?

if both mum and dad fee uncomfortable could they agree that only one parent tracks the phone at a time? It’s a bit of a faff - and I would recommend it if it’s only you who has the problem?

Where exactly are you going?

if you are just going about your business, how can it affect you?!

A parent tracking a child is not invasive it’s common sense.

Yanbu. I think tracking apps are invasive.

When your SD has Snapchat her mum and a hundred other people will know where you are anyway. It's weirdly life now.

Why not? Where are you going?

Would you object to your stepdaughter telling her mother where she has been and what she has done while with you? It's no different from that.

DS has LD and is autistic, we have eachother on find my phone for two reasons. First so that when I’m coming to get him he knows how far away I am and doesn’t worry, second is that if he gets lost I can find / direct him as needed. One day he took a ‘short cut’ through the woods 🙄 If he hadn’t had find my iPhone he’d have been stuffed

I used one for DC phone

Never occurred to me to check it when DC was with someone else

Like it was worth checking when 5 mins late home etc but certainly never sat there watching a dot while I was thinking someone else was responsible

Are boundaries often overstepped for you to assume the mum would be keeping tabs on you??

Obviously. But I fail to see how a tracking device can keep anyone safe. All it does is show where a person is - as long as they have their phone with them!

That is true @Rainrainrainrainrainrainrain however when it means I can see my 16 year old walking through a dodgy area when he should have been getting a taxi home, allows me to go and pick him up!

MY DCs also track me too, especially when they're after a lift!

I’d argue that it’s a decision that should be made between mum, dad and the child.

mine have “tracking” in the form of findmyiphone. They have to consent though, and can turn it off at any point.

the older one has it because they cba texting or calling to let me know they’ll be late home, or are going out or whatever. Youngest has it because he’s always putting his phone down and forgetting where. I share so they can see if I’m stuck in traffic or whatever.

if they withdraw consent it’s then their responsibility to use iCloud to find their phones as only they can see a location.

o/p see if you can turn it off while they’re with you.