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AIBU?

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Original poster

Losing the plot!

60 replies

Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 07:59

I’m losing the plot as DH is insisting that I’m clearly wrong here. he’s being pretty forceful and I don’t get it.

We are buying a new car. Have found a couple. To part exchange we’d get less than car is worth with private sale.

DH wants to go with private sale. I’m fine with that. He wants to buy the new car now and the put the old car up for sale. I want sell first, then buy.

He doesn’t have a reason for this. But was very vexed that I didn’t agree.

I don’t want a few thousand pounds of our assets sitting on the drive when we don’t know for sure it will sell. The car will depreciate whereas money in the bank will accumulate. If it’s a short time it will be minimal but what if it doesn’t sell?

He says it will sell, at the right price. Auto trader get their prices from sales so they are selling, he said. I said, but we don’t know how many are selling and how fast.

So we don’t know is if ours will sell though. We live very rurally, it’s not in fantastic condition and it is old. I’m concerned it will end up sitting on the drive, it will still need to be insured. I also don’t see what is to be gained by buying first. We have another car that we are keeping, so we’d never be without a car.

So lovely MNs. What do you think? Am I being ridiculous? Are my arguments valid? He is totally convinced I’m just being stubborn and making spurious arguments.

AIBU to want to sell before we buy?

OP posts:
Sahara123 · 05/04/2024 08:35

We’ve just sold a car using Motorway , it was quick and easy , and we were very pleased with the price we got. I’d use them again rather than a private sale any day as you know you’ve sold the car .
We did a private sale the previous time, it was more stressful as we didn’t know how long it would take , we got a couple of scam calls ( I can’t remember the exact scam but it was something to do with offering more than it was worth ) and then when it finally sold there’s the handing over of money worry , do we say cash, do we ask for a bank transfer and then move the money quick in case they do some kind of weird reverse thing.
Get a quote from Motorway at least , it saves so much hassle.

Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:32

Pippa246 · 05/04/2024 08:29

@Colddespiteduvet - the guy turned up to pay and take away and did the tyre kicking thing and tried to barter the price down from what had been agreed on the first viewing. We’d said we wanted a specific type of bank transfer so that the payment could not be cancelled and he tried to change to cheque (which could bounce - this was about 5 years ago).

After about an hour he eventually paid and left. Then we had constant phone calls that something wasn’t right with the car (clanging noises, cutting out, wouldn’t start) so wanted us to pay for “a garage” aka his mate, to take a look and fix any issues. We said no then he turned up at the house the next day with a “heavy” to show us what he meant and demand money. I was getting so stressed out by it all as they were really menacing and dropped into the conversation about DH working nights (it had came up in chit chat when he was viewing the car). We eventually gave him £50 to get shot of him. It really upset me as he knew where we lived and wasn’t the type to play fair.

An extreme example but it’s really put me off bringing buyers to my door again for anything to be fair. We had a similar but less scary example when I sold a dining table and chairs - they didn’t threaten us but wanted to pay less than agreed and wouldn’t pay for the bloody thing and leave for about an hour! I was selling it for £50 and giving the chairs for free FFS (as covered in cat scratches). I never do private sale for anything now!

Show quote history

That’s awful. I’m so sorry you went through that. That’s made me want to push for part ex yet alone selling first.

OP posts:
Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:30

Bichonmum · 05/04/2024 08:27

Have you seen a new car that you want and afraid that it will get sold before you sell your old car? If so, buy first otherwise you might lose it.

We have seen three we would buy and they are not shifting so no hurry there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:29

Minfilia · 05/04/2024 08:23

How old is your car?

Ive had 2 DC pass their driving tests in the last 6 months (the third has his test on Monday!) so we’ve done a lot of hunting for older cars.

The cheap, low insurance types that are around 10-12 years old have sold very quickly on auto trader. Every car we’ve looked at has had numerous potential buyers too.

If it’s a car that would be suitable for a new driver that’s low to insure then IME I can tell you it’ll be snapped up 😆

But anyway - I think your DH is just new car excited and like a kid at Christmas. He doesn’t want to have to wait to sell the old toy before getting the new one!

It’s a small EV so yes cheap to insure and great run around but would new drivers want an automatic EV? That’s my concern. It’s a newish secondhand market so less tested. If it was a petrol car I’d not be so unsure of it selling.

OP posts:
Pippa246 · 05/04/2024 08:29

Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:16

Well, we have had, for years lots of things he’s going to sell but hasn’t so that is an underlying concern. But I think with this he will be on it.

What happened with you buyer if you don’t mind me asking?

Show quote history

@Colddespiteduvet - the guy turned up to pay and take away and did the tyre kicking thing and tried to barter the price down from what had been agreed on the first viewing. We’d said we wanted a specific type of bank transfer so that the payment could not be cancelled and he tried to change to cheque (which could bounce - this was about 5 years ago).

After about an hour he eventually paid and left. Then we had constant phone calls that something wasn’t right with the car (clanging noises, cutting out, wouldn’t start) so wanted us to pay for “a garage” aka his mate, to take a look and fix any issues. We said no then he turned up at the house the next day with a “heavy” to show us what he meant and demand money. I was getting so stressed out by it all as they were really menacing and dropped into the conversation about DH working nights (it had came up in chit chat when he was viewing the car). We eventually gave him £50 to get shot of him. It really upset me as he knew where we lived and wasn’t the type to play fair.

An extreme example but it’s really put me off bringing buyers to my door again for anything to be fair. We had a similar but less scary example when I sold a dining table and chairs - they didn’t threaten us but wanted to pay less than agreed and wouldn’t pay for the bloody thing and leave for about an hour! I was selling it for £50 and giving the chairs for free FFS (as covered in cat scratches). I never do private sale for anything now!

Bichonmum · 05/04/2024 08:27

Have you seen a new car that you want and afraid that it will get sold before you sell your old car? If so, buy first otherwise you might lose it.

Minfilia · 05/04/2024 08:23

How old is your car?

Ive had 2 DC pass their driving tests in the last 6 months (the third has his test on Monday!) so we’ve done a lot of hunting for older cars.

The cheap, low insurance types that are around 10-12 years old have sold very quickly on auto trader. Every car we’ve looked at has had numerous potential buyers too.

If it’s a car that would be suitable for a new driver that’s low to insure then IME I can tell you it’ll be snapped up 😆

But anyway - I think your DH is just new car excited and like a kid at Christmas. He doesn’t want to have to wait to sell the old toy before getting the new one!

OnlyOneAdda · 05/04/2024 08:22

Have you tried Motorway? We got a better actual sale price than the original estimate which was as good as a private sale and minimal effort.

Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:21

Tatas · 05/04/2024 08:10

If you have another one though, so two cars currently - there's no need to buy the other car first as there's no gap where you'd be without a car?

I'd sell first, private sales are time consuming and also a bit fussy. You'll have to prep the car, deal with time wasters, possibly lower the price etc - best get that done first and get the £!

Thanks. This is my view and is validating to hear that. Honestly, you’d think I’d suggested something truly ridiculous from his outrage.

OP posts:
Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:20

Well, it does seem that people do both and favour both and that my view and arguments are equally valid as his?

OP posts:
Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:19

EveryoneJapan · 05/04/2024 08:17

I genuinely couldn’t be arsed with the faff of a private sale. I’d either part-exchange or “We Buy Any Car” (or similar) it. I’ve gone the latter twice and I’ve always got a reasonable amount, and they haven’t knocked anything off their internet valuation.

Thanks. That’s definitely an option.

OP posts:
Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:18

BlueMum16 · 05/04/2024 08:16

Have you looked at We But Any Car or similar? You could compromise and buy first and if not sold privately in a couple of weeks then sell to WBAC?

Yes. That’s a good plan. They are about the same as part ex.

OP posts:
Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:17

AnxiousRabbit · 05/04/2024 08:14

For me if you really need two cars any length of time without two would be inconvenient so it makes sense to buy first and sell later.
If you can't afford to do that then I would part-ex.

Do you have a confirmed delivery date for new car? Is it brand new? OHs date got pushed back 6 times and was 18 months late in the end (company car though) my friends "new" car spends more time in the garage than out.

If you can genuinely manage with one car indefinitely then sell first.

New car is a used car so should be quick.

I was thinking that we should put our current car on the market and see what happens first. If lots of interest go for it, if sluggish then wait.

OP posts:
EveryoneJapan · 05/04/2024 08:17

I genuinely couldn’t be arsed with the faff of a private sale. I’d either part-exchange or “We Buy Any Car” (or similar) it. I’ve gone the latter twice and I’ve always got a reasonable amount, and they haven’t knocked anything off their internet valuation.

BlueMum16 · 05/04/2024 08:16

Have you looked at We But Any Car or similar? You could compromise and buy first and if not sold privately in a couple of weeks then sell to WBAC?

Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:16

Pippa246 · 05/04/2024 08:12

I’d never sell privately again after getting my fingers burnt with a dodgy buyer - I’d take the hit and go part exchange unless you are talking 000s which is unlikely.

Otherwise both points are reasonable. But you know your DH - will he be proactive about advertising and selling car? Have you looked yourself to see what the market is like for the one you’re selling? Do you need the money from the old car to fund the new?

Well, we have had, for years lots of things he’s going to sell but hasn’t so that is an underlying concern. But I think with this he will be on it.

What happened with you buyer if you don’t mind me asking?

OP posts:
WaitingfortheTardis · 05/04/2024 08:14

I dont think it's idiotic at all, there's just different ways to do things and I would choose to buy the new one first so that I knew it was all sorted. In the long run it really won't make all that much difference, though if you've seen a really good one you may want to snap it up before it's gone.

AnxiousRabbit · 05/04/2024 08:14

For me if you really need two cars any length of time without two would be inconvenient so it makes sense to buy first and sell later.
If you can't afford to do that then I would part-ex.

Do you have a confirmed delivery date for new car? Is it brand new? OHs date got pushed back 6 times and was 18 months late in the end (company car though) my friends "new" car spends more time in the garage than out.

If you can genuinely manage with one car indefinitely then sell first.

Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:14

Londonrach1 · 05/04/2024 08:11

My worry re selling before buying is that you have no car for Abit. No right or wrong here. Some cars on auto trader are over priced I've found. If priced well it will sell. Part exchange is easier and simpler. How much less.

We have another car so that’s not an issue.

It’s about 2000 different. I’m happy to go with a private sale but would rather sell first.

OP posts:
Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:12

WaitingfortheTardis · 05/04/2024 08:10

I think that is true with many things, but selling cars is fairly easy as there is quite a bit of demand for second hand ones.

Show quote history

This is an EV car that’s ok on the outside but very worn on the inside - peeling trim and very dirty.

OP posts:
Pippa246 · 05/04/2024 08:12

I’d never sell privately again after getting my fingers burnt with a dodgy buyer - I’d take the hit and go part exchange unless you are talking 000s which is unlikely.

Otherwise both points are reasonable. But you know your DH - will he be proactive about advertising and selling car? Have you looked yourself to see what the market is like for the one you’re selling? Do you need the money from the old car to fund the new?

Londonrach1 · 05/04/2024 08:11

My worry re selling before buying is that you have no car for Abit. No right or wrong here. Some cars on auto trader are over priced I've found. If priced well it will sell. Part exchange is easier and simpler. How much less.

Original poster
Colddespiteduvet · 05/04/2024 08:11

WaitingfortheTardis · 05/04/2024 08:08

We've always bought the new one before selling the old one, Auto trader has always been really good and we've sold our previous cars within a week or so.

Just out of interest though, how long does it tend to take?

Also, can you see the reasoning in my view or do you think it’s idiotic too? He says I don’t have any valid arguments. I’m being ridiculous apparently.

OP posts:
Tatas · 05/04/2024 08:10

If you have another one though, so two cars currently - there's no need to buy the other car first as there's no gap where you'd be without a car?

I'd sell first, private sales are time consuming and also a bit fussy. You'll have to prep the car, deal with time wasters, possibly lower the price etc - best get that done first and get the £!

WaitingfortheTardis · 05/04/2024 08:10

Jovacknockowitch · 05/04/2024 08:08

Trying to sell anything to members of the general public can be a challenge. I've given up on it now.

I think that is true with many things, but selling cars is fairly easy as there is quite a bit of demand for second hand ones.

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