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Thinking this is a little unethical/concerning

32 replies

Allyouhadtodowasstay · 05/04/2024 00:36

I recently started a new job at a investment/wealth management company. I work in IT, this is my first time working for a financial services company. I've made some friends but as it's a small company it's very a much a cross-team friendship.

Tonight we went for drinks and a conversation came up about some job interviews on a different team. The person responsible for hiring this role said he had already chosen/offered the job etc. Some of the people I was with decided to find the LinkedIn of the person offered the job. One of the relatively young woman on the same team commented that she didn't have much experience and they could have given the job to her, she meant it is a joke. The person hiring explained that this woman did way better at uni, has experience from somewhere prestigious and then said "most importantly her family are loaded and on my potential client list, this is our in", I thought he was joking but he went on to list everything he knows about her family, and how much money they must have and how he looked on the sold prices for her address and it's a flat which sold for over a million, just really personal information. Someone then found her instagram and all the men (most married) were commenting on how fit she was and how "shaggable" with one guy saying "who cares if she's shit at the job, sit me across from her, I'll help her and I can look at those tits all day" another guy said "what a combo of pretty and hot, can't wait to wank over that tonight". The other woman and I there both told them to pack it in and left immediately, the other woman is young and said it made her very uncomfortable, two men also left with us saying it made them feel uneasy but they didn't call the others out.
Now it's already a white male dominated company, less than 25% of employees are female. The girls who are there already, especially the younger ones aren't treated massively well and this has resulted in many leaving so the number of women is declining. All of the senior roles are held by men, most of the department heads (barring one) are men. HR is outsourced, slow to reply and apparently useless.
On the walk home the other woman phoned another colleague, when she told him of what was said. The reply to the first guys comment was "sounds like something he'd say" and to the second "yeah he was obviously joking".
There are several under 25s in the office, mostly women and this new employee would be one of them.

I said to those I was with I would report it to HR tomorrow, one went silent and then said yeah maybe we should have a word with them first before doing that (this was a guy). The other woman told me it wouldn't be worth my time and the other guy said yeah it's shit they shouldn't have spoke like that.

AIBU to think this absolutely has to go to HR? My DH thinks it's pointless, it happened outside of work, they were just commenting on pictures (but I also think the reason for hiring her seems unethical) and if no one would back me up they'd probably only get a warning if that.

I feel so uncomfortable and I think I'm going to start looking elsewhere!!

OP posts:
Wordsmithery · 05/04/2024 05:57

You MUST report this, otherwise you're letting it happen, like everyone else who stands around and mutters that there's no point doing anything..
Record It all and go to HR. Then start looking elsewhere.

AstralSpace · 05/04/2024 01:36

@ATerrorofLeftovers this is what I've seen too. I was once so disgusted at someone's racism (it really was awful. I have a thick skin and worked in financial services for years) that I took it up with their line manager and said that I wasn't going to take it further this time but the person needed to be sent on some diversity course or something as it's unacceptable.

They agreed to that but the amount of sexism was awful and that was even the senior managers. I did express disgust when someone brought a sex doll in but I was laughed at and told I was a prude. It had been bought in by a senior manager for someone's birthday.

ATerrorofLeftovers · 05/04/2024 01:26

It’s disgusting, but, and I hate to say it, this type of thing was very much par for the course when I worked in financial services. I hope things have changed in the ten years I’ve been out of the industry, but in the past, it would have been common for the company to close ranks around the guy and manage out the whistleblower woman. Especially if he’s in a revenue-generating role and the whistleblower isn’t…

GreyCarpet · 05/04/2024 01:20

Report to HR but also, as a word of caution, this scenario would be very identifying to any of the people involved if they were to read this.

suddenwanderlust · 05/04/2024 01:01

I got about half way through. If this is true, write down every word and send to HR tomorrow morning

heartbrokenof · 05/04/2024 00:59

Write every detail of it down then find a new job and report just before you leave and explain that's why you're leaving, how toxic

Elbai · 05/04/2024 00:49

Come on now OP, it's a more than just a little concerning. It's downright disgusting.

Report to HR and find a new job!