AIBU to ask what’s the best thing your DIL has done?

oh and to answer OP's question, I think I have a fairly good relationship with my MIL. I think the key thing for us is it's based on mutual respect. We probably would never be friends if we'd met along the way, but we can have a nice little chit chat and I respect the successes in her life and her in mine. I try to encourage and support a relationship between her and the DC (admittedly super easy as DH is not leaving it to me to facilitate AND MIL is very accommodating) and I largely let her have her little quirks (and, again, she lets me have mine) without getting into a state about it.

But she did tell DH when we got engaged that he needs to understand that from now on she's basically taking my side in arguments as he needs to accommodate his wife and her needs! so that set a positive tone.

I think that people who have good, easy relationships with their MIL/DIL don't post on here usually, so that's a big part of it.

In real life though, I see a lot of friends getting frustrated by their MILs becuase they overstep boundaries - telling DIL what to do/how to act towards her DH etc and I don't understand it. A friend's MIL once proudly announced "Oh, I've rearranged your kitchen for you. It makes a lot more sense now and everyone will find it easier to use." To rub salt into the wound, on that particular day, the MIL had made dinner for herself, my friend's DH and the DC but not for my friend because, "I didn't know what you'd like."

I will never understand why people do this.

Although to be fair, I do agree that some of the threads are sad, "my MIL always lets my DC have a second portion of pudding when they're at her house once a month. AIBU to go NC" does seem a bit excessive.

My Dil allowed me to be in the room when she gave birth to our first grandchild.
Her mum wasn't a well woman. And as Dil said if I can't have my mum I'll have (son mum instead)

Apart from having married my son (and apparently making him very happy), given birth to my fabulous grandson, and being a wonderful mother, she’s just always so lovely and kind. Oh, and she’s beautiful and smart too. Proper fan girl, I am.

Loving my daughter and her son.. made her happy more than her ex husband.. ( they were both married to men.. came out 2 years ago).. she's is kind .. caring... funny.. loving.. intelligent and has given me two wonderful step grandaughters
Couldn't ask for more...

Sadly they are split up now but 8 years ago dil gave birth to their first dc. And my first dgc.. 29th February! They came to see me 6th March which was Mother's Day and ds's birthday.. A very kind and much appreciated gesture from her and ds to spend the day with me...
Won't ever forget that day..

I’d also love to know the perspective of the DIL on their MIL who have to remind the sons of Mother’s Day and do the garden when they go round. 😂 The MIL think the DIL are great…wonder if the DIL are the ones on here who complain that they struggle to keep the MIL happy!

I love my daughter in laws, they are quite different to each other but we all get along well as do the children. Both were very supportive when my own parents were ill and both seem to genuinely enjoy our company as we do theirs. I’ve just come back from holiday with one son and family and have been and will go again with both my sons families, we have fun together. ☺️
I find the fairly constant threads about ‘horrific’ mother in laws really sad. It does seem to be a relationship some struggle with. The trick is I think for the mother in law to understand that she cannot remain the most important woman in her son’s life, that is his wife and he must put her and their family first. On the other hand the daughter in law needs to understand that her mother in law (and father in law although that relationship is rarely mentioned) are still important to her husband and that their children will benefit from a relationship with their grandparents. Usually. They have different roles.
I’m incredibly blessed with wonderful sons, fabulous grandchildren and lovely daughters in law.

Loving my son and making him happy. Being kind to my rather difficult DM. Making an effort to be part of our family. She is funny and intelligent - I enjoy her company

She married my son.

Cook, help in the garden, reminds the son about his own mothers birthdays. By Christ I am happy I don’t have a MIL if by keeping them happy I need to make up for the deficiencies in the shit sons and do the bloody garden. 😂

I was expecting to read that they are great company…more fool me

My DIL is lovely. We get on well. When they pop over, they will cook, bring wine , and help out in the garden. In fact, she says she likes being in our small place rather than her parents' huge mansion house as there isn't drama, it's relaxed and we get on.

My DIL is delightful. I don’t see her very often as they live in a different country, but she’s always very sweet and helpful when they visit. The best things about her are that she puts up with DS, and obviously reminds him about things like birthdays and Mother’s Day 😁