Who's the problematic one here?

I struggle with my size and weight (but mostly weight).
I can reduce in size, but it's very difficult for me to lose any weight.

I'm a bit confused by this to be honest. If you can see yourself getting fitter/smaller/more toned what ever you want to call it, why the heck does it matter what you weigh?

When i was young we used to say that 'muscle weighed more than fat' - so dieting and getting toned would not necessarily result in actual change on the scales. I'm sure the theory behind it is poo pooh'd these days - but for what ever reason that result does seem to be what happens.

Your responses are very strange OP.

Perhaps he finds your opinions and responses strange, too.

You say you "rarely" speak about your weight issues and yet you also say:

Yes I've told him this 20 million times. Including with weight related conversations.

Which is it?

I'm not sure what the problem is from reading your posts either. At the start of your OP you say you've been overweight most of your life and at the end of the same post, you say you think you probably do look slim.

I would just stop talking about your weight loss with him.

You're doing strength training. You have lost weight (in the form of fat) but gained muscle mass - hence your weight is the same but your shape has changed.

The more you post you sound a bit like you would benefit from some therapy (not being funny saying this, you don't seem to be ok accepting others opinions in a conversation).

You can't out train a bad diet is a popular saying for a reason 🤷

Tbh in his shoes I don't think I'd appreciate listening to you, offering a solution / trying to work through it and basically being told "unless I ask for your opinion just agree with me"!

When you are in a partnership with someone for years, one of the things you need to come to terms with is that they can't always be the one who does or says what you need with regards to day to day stuff. By day to day i mean things like weight loss, not big stuff like ... tragedy and death.

Keep these convos to have with people who give feedback which works for you. Friends/colleagues/other family/people at the gym.

There's subjects i don't bother with talking to DH about because he either has no opinion (hair colour, for example!) or he has a different outlook to me and it risks turning into a clash rather than a chat. He doesn't bother talking to me about the ins and outs of one of his hobbys to much because he knows i'd rather watch paint dry 😂I care that he's doing well or having fun but i don't want to chat about the details of the equipment.

There are a million and one other things we talk about happily. We stick to those. I suggest you do that OP.

I don't have a relationship with my sister. I'm at peace with it and it's much better for my MH. Well whenever I say anything about how that relationship messed me up, he used to come back with ways of how to fix it

He loves you. He's trying to help you. You need a therapist, he isn't one, and it is completely unfair of you to expect him to act like one.

@Upallnight2 I agree. I think it sounds like he's trying to diplomatically point out you aren't going to lose weight unless you change what you eat.

But if you're not changing what you eat, then surely diet it the reason you're not losing weight? He's trying to make a helpful suggestion IMO

So you basically told him that he is not allowed to give his opinion when you raise the topic and he is just to agree with you. And you don't see the problem here?

Sounds like he's having a conversation and offering suggestions but you don't want that you just want praise. He isn't going to know you just want praise, so tell him you don't want his opinion you just want a well done.

Edited to say sorry I think you're the problematic one over this. Men don't get it as they don't tend to have the same struggles.

It's a little like saying "when I want your opinion, I'll give it to you!" 🤣

Back to my DH, yes I've told him that unless I actively ask for his opinion, the best thing he can do is agree with me.

That's not how it works.

Your last paragraph is ridiculous I hope it is a joke?

Then I will say it is mostly a him problem! Although it is often very hard for people who are "fixers" to learn how to listen without jumping in with advice to try and help you solve things. It's a skill he could work on if he chose to but maybe at this point it's unlikely he will. You could try pointing it out in conversations "thanks DH, but I don't want to talk about ways to fix it / if thats correct right now, I'm aware of options, I'm just finding it hard and need you to listen while I vent" each time he offers an idea or questions something.

It might be more useful and less stressful for you though to have conversations where you need to just have empathy elsewhere and discuss it with him when you want to discuss more practical ideas?

He can't win so stop going on about your weight entirely.

I think men just don't understand the struggle of weight on a woman's body. I've done numerous diets etc and my dh has been madly supportive but I'll eat the same freshly prepped food, but smaller portions, and the weight will fall off him whereas it will take me 2 to 3 times as long to lose the same amount of weight.

From the sounds of it, I think your dh is just trying to be helpful.

I agree that he’s bored by it. Women talking about their weight (and it’s always women) is such a boring topic

6 hours of cardio and 3-4 strength training is crazy. I bet you’re not eating enough protein either

I'll probably get flamed for this, but get him a copy of a book called "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus", and tell him to read the chapter titled "Men Go To Their Caves, And Women Talk".

If he takes it on board, he will be able to communicate with you in a manner you find more agreeable.