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Original poster

I feel like a failure. Somebody please talk sense into me

87 replies

AmIAFailure77 · 03/04/2024 20:50

I’m 27, I have absolutely no savings. I’m living with my parents, with the extremely unrealistic goal of buying a house. I can barely even rent at the moment. I will probably end up renting in a few months.

I have a decent career which I enjoy but I’m quite low down and my salary is only 30k. It’s not looking likely I’ll be promoted anytime soon.

I’ve had a boyfriend for two years, but he’s not in a great financial position either and we’d not even think about kids unless we lived somewhere together.
I feel I’m running out of time to have kids though, and I very much doubt I’ll have a house and a stable life by the time I’m 29.

I feel like a massive failure….

OP posts:
MojoMoon · 03/04/2024 21:01

Also the median age for a first time mother is now 32 so the majority of 29 year olds don't have children either. You aren't far behind everyone else.

Youdontevengohere · 03/04/2024 21:01

With all respect, you chose to go travelling. Not saying that was the wrong choice, or a bad choice, but it was a choice. And that’s why you’re in the financial situation you’re currently in. Was it worth it?
All you can do now is knuckle down and build your savings back up.

MojoMoon · 03/04/2024 20:59

What are your actual outgoings? What car are you driving? What mobile phone contract?

persisted · 03/04/2024 20:59

Travelling was a choice, you will be making other choices about where your money goes.
Years ago I had a conversation with a colleague, she was complaining about how she couldn't possibly afford to move out of parents house, and I was so lucky. She had just come back from a 3 week holiday in India, I hadn't been on holiday for several years.

Go through everything and think carefully about what your priorities are, then take it from there.

CarrotCake01 · 03/04/2024 20:59

In fairness I'm 31, solo parent, overweight, no friends, no hobbies, earn about £12k a year and haven't been in a relationship for years. I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be by now so I'm probably not the best person to be giving you a pep talk on what it is to be a failure 😂

You have to decide what it is you really want from life and go from there. Set yourself some goals and break them down into achievable chunks! No one has it all but you're still very young to make some changes. In my opinion, as long as you're kind and good and friendly and put good vibes out into the world, you're not failing.

Original poster
AmIAFailure77 · 03/04/2024 20:58

I get £1900 a month

OP posts:
Howaboutthats · 03/04/2024 20:57

What's 30k like £2300 a month net? 🤔 what are work memberships? You should easily be able to save £1500 a month at least if you actually knuckle down. Same for your boyfriend. You have to really want it.

PinkFrogss · 03/04/2024 20:56

Also how long were you travelling for and when did you come back? You might have an extended version of back to reality holiday blues

PinkFrogss · 03/04/2024 20:55

By the sounds of it travelling must have been quite expensive? I think you have to accept you made a sacrifice, and only you can decide if it was worth it.

If you saved enough to go travelling your savings will start to accumulate again. Are you in a job with good career potential? Training and upskilling for a higher paid job would be sensible (obvious, I know!).

Have you looked into shared ownership? If your boyfriend is on a similar salary then unless you live in an extortionate area that may very well be affordable.

Youdontevengohere · 03/04/2024 20:53

If you earn £30k and live at home with your parents, where is the money being spent?
Why do you think you need to have kids by 29? I have 3, and hadn’t had any by 29. We bought our first house when I was 34 (had 2 kids by then).

Original poster
AmIAFailure77 · 03/04/2024 20:52

I went travelling recently which honestly blew all my money. Spending a lot on petrol, work memberships, my car etc. I am saving a bit now but wouldn’t exactly say it’s enough to call it savings

OP posts:
ConfrontationDoesntHaveToBeScarey · 03/04/2024 20:51

Where's your money going?

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