I feel like a failure. Somebody please talk sense into me

@ButterflyKu Who in the world could live on £800 a month?, oh come on, a lot of people do.

Sounds like you're aiming for unrealistic expectations!

DH and I were 28 and 29 respectively when DD was born in 2017.
He was on approx 25k at the time, me approx 18k.
We rented a 2-bed semi (we still rent a different 3-bed semi now)
DD never wanted for anything, she is a privelidged child who has always been doted on and very well provided for.
DD2 is the same, despite us still only having a 45k income.

Yes buying a house and having a higher income are the 'ideal' but don't be tricked into thinking that everything has to be 'perfect' before having a baby.As long as you have a stable and solid relationship, enough money for the essentials plus abit more, and lots of love to give a child, you will be fine.x

Completely normal in London. I'm 50 and most of my friends from childhood still live with their parents in London, just lucky enough to have parents who bought their homes in the 70s or 80s when people in ok jobs could afford them and so there's space to make a separate flat in the basement.

So nothing to feel a failure about. Your salary's quite good. It's just really difficult because homes are so expensive.

Research potential properties you can buy and work out how much of a deposit you will need.

Do a budget based on your finances now and work out how much can you realistically save towards a deposit each month and how long it will take to save. Open a LISA to earn free money (govt bonus plus interest).

If you’re serious about buying then put a proper plan in place and you can make happen!

Personally I wouldn’t rent in your situation, I’d stay with your parents and save towards buying.

If it helps, at 27 I was earning 40k a year, had no savings and was 15k in debt. I was single and pretty much suicidal due to the stress of money and the prospect of being alone forever.

3 years later I own a house, have no debt, a big chunk of savings and am with an amazing man.

Life will take you on fucking random ups and downs. You will be fine!!

You earn more than enough to save and move out. You blew it travelling. Fair enough you're still young, but you now need to save for your next adventure. Home ownership. If you're serious about it then knuckle down, stop the nights out and save for that. It's a large amount of disposable income. You won't have anything near than amount with a mortgage and kids. Use it wisely.

But it was your choice to go travelling, no?

@Youdontevengohere Of course and I get that but it was just coming across a bit critical with the ‘that was your choice’ wording etc.. It wouldn’t be helpful for the OP to go away thinking she’d made a mistake and beating herself up over it.

If you are on 30K and your boyfriend is on similar then you will easily be able to buy. I know people who have done it on a joint income of just over your salary and we are in one of the most expensive parts of the UK. They did have quite a large deposit though.

As for kids, most have them now in their mid thirties. Plenty of time if thats what you want.

You are young, earning a decent amount and have a partner. You are doing well. I wish I had all that.

But we don’t know if she is paying rent and bills though or how much that is.

In any case OP, as frustrating as it might be, it’s good to separate your feelings of self worth from these outward things.

Who in the world could live on £800 a month? Presuming the OP would pay a certain amount of rent towards her parents alongside food, bills, car maintenance and other things. I don’t see £800 going for at all tbh

I think people are only focussing on the travelling in the sense that the OP made that choice and all choices have consequences. No one has said she shouldn’t have done it, just that she’s acknowledged that it’s the reason she has no savings.

Lots of people focussing on the travelling expense but I did the same (a bit younger then you) and would not change those experiences for the world. You have to grab some chances in life when you can, and believe me when/if you do have kids you will not have the opportunity for a very long time. Just put your focus into saving now, reassess your outgoings, give yourself monthly goals etc..
I use Hyperjar for budgeting which I find very useful. For moral support the Broke Generation podcast is great.

Don’t overthink kids etc.. it doesn’t sound like you are emotionally ready anyway and 27 is still young. I wasn’t ready at 29, nor 30, nor 31. When I was 32 something just clicked. Oh, and my partner and I were renting at the time. We didn’t buy our first house until several years later. Wasn’t the way we planned it but it was absolutely fine. People get hung up on buying a house which is bloody difficult for this generation, no matter how many holidays you forgo, how many coffees you stop buying. You’ll get there I’m sure but you are most definitely NOT a failure.

And work, careers, promotions - again opportunities can come where you least expect it. You enjoy your job but if the money is below par talk to your employer about it (if it’s the kind of industry where you can do so). You never know. And keep an eye out for other opportunities - linkedin, catch up with ex-colleagues, register with agencies.

Life very rarely falls into place in the way that people plan it to (no matter what they may say). But if you know what you want (home, family, career etc..) you’ll find a way. It may not be the order you expected it to be, and there will be obstacles, some of them major. But keep going, have confidence and give yourself a bit of a break from time to time. You are not a failure - no matter what advice people give you on threads like this etc… life is bloody hard sometimes and that’s just the way it is.

Can you break it all down?

If OP is paying rent to parents then might as well move out if that makes her feel better. That’s just my perspective…

I don't think OP has said whether she pays rent to parents or not.

If not, you'll be able to save up tons of money (a grand a month EASILY) if you live frugally with the aim of buying a house.

Travelling is both expensive and priceless

You can at least save money now that you don’t have to pay rent. I know plenty of people in your situation except they have to pay rent as well.

You need to focus on enjoying life while you’re young. You have plenty of time to have kids and once you eventually do you’ll regret not making the most of being free and single.

🤣🤦🏻‍♀️😅

No one quotes their salary as after tax 😄 it's obviously 30k gross which is how everyone describes their salary.

Is 30k a year really only £1900 a month. That's way less than I thought.

Are you worrying about not having more ‘life stuff’ sorted before turning 30? 30k is a good salary, after tax? You can do this! If you’re serious about buying a house, did you start looking at mortgage options yet? You can consider lots of options, speak to an advisor, even if you don’t have enough saved yet, it’s good to know what’s out there and have a savings goal that’s realistic. There are more property options out there than you might imagine, and your first property doesn’t need to be a forever home, it’s an investment. Could you take an extra job in the evenings to boost income? You did travel at the perfect time - old enough to know better and young enough to really have a blast :) I’m 39, still single, still renting, BUT the 8k I had saved from living at home with my dad in early 30s went on saving my dog’s life (he developed a rare and complicated disease which has needed years of treatment), and because I couldn’t buy a house when I thought I would, it meant that when dad developed (and sadly died from) cancer, I was able to drop everything and move in with him and care for him for 2 years, up until the day he died, last year. I felt like you once, but a decade later I realise, it’s a state of mind. Kids were never my agenda, but you can do the things you want. You can take some practical steps, budgeting, finance control, house research, if you can live at home for another year or two to help you save, but also, life has a way of throwing curve balls at you. Your goal isn’t unrealistic, pennies make pounds and small steps get you up the mountain - you just need to be methodical and practical about the route to get there, and don’t beat yourself up if you get blown off course sometimes, life is wild :)

You are 27. You are earning 30k a year
You have been travelling.
I think you are doing OK. Chin up. You are doing just fine. All the things you are aiming for will come. Just enjoy it. I'm saying this because I look back on being 27 and wish I hadn't worried so much. I wasn't earning as much as you and I missed out on travelling. You are doing great, honestly.

I think you need to take a long hard look at your priorities.

Travelling is great and to do it while young and without responsibilities must be fab. However, the toss up is that you now have no deposit. Doesn't mean you're a failure, just that your priorities were not home ownership at that time.

How much did you spend travelling and how long did it take to save?

How much are you paying rent to parents?

Is the car necessary?

On your salary, on say paying 400 a month to parents you should be able to save between 750- a grand a month if you really put your mind to it and cut out all non essentials.

If you and your boyfriend save £1,500 between you a month, and open a LISA each, contribute the max £4k a year, then you’d have a £40k deposit in 2 years.

Time to get strict with your spending.

Draw up a budget, absolutely all of your incomings and outgoings. Highlight all necessary spends like bills. Out of the rest work out what you can cut out and go without, 2 years isn’t long in the grand scheme of things. Then return to what you have highlighted and see if there’s anything you can downgrade or get a better deal on. Get your boyfriend to do the same.

£1900, where’s that going? If you’re living at parents your rent must be cheap, you should be able to save at least £1k a month.