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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would your partner wake you up shouting due to cramp?

187 replies

Daisypod · 03/04/2024 09:18

As the title says really, Aibu to think shouting out in agony due to leg cramp in the middle of the night is somewhat over the top?
Dh did this last night and I thought something was seriously wrong! I've had cramp myself and usually quietly stretch out or sometimes stand to sort it, certainly don't shout out in pain.
But I am prepared to admit I'm bu if others have had it much more severely than I have, I've just never heard of it being that bad.

OP posts:
Bobandbear · 03/04/2024 11:19

It’s absolute agony if they are bad. There are leg cramps and leg cramps! I’ve cried out in pain before.

gemsgv · 03/04/2024 11:13

I used to get these 2-3 times a year and yes it's agony. It turned out, it was sleeping with a fan on that was causing it. I haven't had one since

the80sweregreat · 03/04/2024 11:12

I get cramp a lot and it's so painful :(
It sort of travels up my leg in spasms
I did read it's linked to lack of calcium , but no idea if this is true or not.

EC22 · 03/04/2024 11:10

YABU
its agony.

Daisypod · 03/04/2024 11:09

Ok ok i have accepted I was bu.
Can I just say also that when it happened i leaped up and asked him what was wrong and when he told me I pushed his toes back as he asked and rubbed his leg. I was just very shocked at the time and wanted to know if others experienced it that badly.

OP posts:
BooksAndHooks · 03/04/2024 10:56

Leg cramp is the worse pain I’ve ever had, worse than labour. YABU

toomuchfaff · 03/04/2024 10:47

YABU
one of those that you can't say unless you've experienced it...

bit like a fella admonishing their lady for noises in childbirth...

Francisflute · 03/04/2024 10:32

Cramp can be agonising. Like, stubbed toe level but ongoing. I've been having it in one hand and keep waking up crying out. I think it's connected to the radiotherapy I'm having. My partner comments that I have a sky high pain/discomfort threshold so it must be nasty. Awake, you can head it off but asleep it's a nasty shock.

GasPanic · 03/04/2024 10:20

Problem is often you can feel it about to happen. You can stop it if you catch it early enough but once it goes it goes.

For me it is agony and the only way out is to jump out of bed and hop around and rub your calves until it stops. So no real need for shouting but a lot of need for vigorous movement that is almost certainly going to wake someone in close proximity up.

Isittimeformynapyet · 03/04/2024 10:16

pleasehelpagirlout · 03/04/2024 09:21

Yes and they come out of no where so the shock involved doesn’t help when you’re soundo!

Are you Australian by any chance?

MissTrip82 · 03/04/2024 10:16

I’ve had paracetamol twice in my life and never had another pain killer. I’m 45.

I’ve yelled from cramp.

betterangels · 03/04/2024 10:13

YABU.

My leg cramps are the fucking worst. You don't experience the same level of pain as him. Doesn't mean you can decide he's overreacting.

RhubarbAndFlustered · 03/04/2024 10:09

It's perfectly normal to shout out and leap up when in agony. And it's also perfectly normal for the other of the living couple to ask if they're okay and grab their calf to sleepily give it a massage because they don't like to see the other in pain.

NotThatWitty · 03/04/2024 09:50

My DH gets serious leg cramps - they don't happen too often (I'd say 2- 3 times a year), but when they happen they really hurt him. The first time he woke up screaming, I was really shocked, and like OP thought that something serious had happened/he was dying - I was also unsure about what I could do to help (and middle of the night dazedness), so was a bit useless, to be honest.

Now, if he wakes up screaming, I just roll towards him and gently rub his calves for a few minutes until the pain lessens, and then we both go back to sleep (it is often more stiff the next day too). In turn, my hypo-alarms wake him up, more often than his leg pains do me, and he always checks on me/ensures I have my sweets next to me (if I ever don't, as I may have used them all and forgotten to bring more up, he will always go down to the kitchen to get me some). 🙂

Ponoka7 · 03/04/2024 09:44

Daisypod · 03/04/2024 09:26

Ok fair enough I am bu. I think partly it's that dh had also been up a lot in the night to go to the loo and woke me every time so I'm a bit tired too. He's still in bed though so I haven't said anything to him yet and I shan't be having a go, glad I asked.
I have been up with the toddler for a couple of hours so hopefully he won't be feeling too bad when he gets up.

Has he had a diabetes test, or general bloods done? I'm just wondering if they are connected.

Manyandyoucanwalkover · 03/04/2024 09:42

My friend gets leg cramp so bad, she can vomit. I’ve almost passed out with the pain. It can be really bad. Not everyone has it this bad.

AmaryllisChorus · 03/04/2024 09:42

Yes he has a few times. Totally legitimate ime. We cry out in pain - that's normal. The only real way to get rid of cramp if it's that bad is to have someone massage it for you. So I am happy to be woken up and to massage his legs to relieve the pain. Far better that than him suffering half the night with it.

MonsteraMama · 03/04/2024 09:42

My husband gets them really badly too, he had one the other night that you could see rippling and pinching, it was horrible.

I get them occasionally after exercise and they do bloody well hurt, I'm not surprised he yelled if it woke him.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 03/04/2024 09:41

Wow, I didn't know this was a thing!

Crystallizedring · 03/04/2024 09:40

Cramp is bloody painful but never have I shouted about it. And DH would be pissed off if I woke him up just for that.
At the moment I have constant pain in one of my legs and it's worse at night, often waking me up. I don't scream and shout then either.

Bluebuddha10 · 03/04/2024 09:40

Leg cramps can be excruciating- very painful until they pass, and yes, shouting out in agony cannot be helped! Mine have improved a bit since I started taking magnesium.

KimberleyClark · 03/04/2024 09:40

I have had occasional nocturnal calf cramps and so has DH. Anyone who can have one and not scream I take my hat off to you. Respect.

Fantoush · 03/04/2024 09:38

The first time I ever had cramp, I woke myself up in the middle of the night yelling. I had no control over it. Maybe that’s what happened to him.

KreedKafer · 03/04/2024 09:38

It’s almost impossible not to shout out with severe leg cramps. YABVU.

Ilovemyshed · 03/04/2024 09:36

OP sounds like you have never had a real deep cramp. You couldn't help but cry out, its unbelievable pain.

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