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Original poster

Worried about going to France with my extremely endowed DH

85 replies

MyPolitePlumEagle · 03/04/2024 06:06

We're flying into Nice airport this Summer and were planning on spending our time along the coast. Is the rule about speedos still active at everypool? I'm worried it could look indecent for DH and like he's excited even when he's totally at ease. tya

OP posts:
Ginmonkeyagain · 03/04/2024 07:46

Apparrently Prince Albert had a piercing so he could use a ribbon to tie his manly endowment down so as not to offend in tight trousers. A posible solution?

ConJob · 03/04/2024 07:44

They allow tight swimming shorts as well as speedos, as long as they're made from swimwear material. My sons have worn ones that go most of the way to their knees. He could just guide his penis down his leg. Try some double-sided sticky tape to get it to stay in place.

Noyesnoyes · 03/04/2024 07:42

Toofattofly · 03/04/2024 07:20

Wish you'd put a trigger warning at the beginning of your post op, I've gone right off these sausages I'd cooked for breakfast 🤮

Were they those really long frankfurter ones?

Noyesnoyes · 03/04/2024 07:41

Ramalangadingdong · 03/04/2024 07:30

Apparently the actor Errol Flynn used to wrap his around his leg and sort of bind it to the leg with string.

I'd be worried about chafing, maybe a piece of silk?

Zapss · 03/04/2024 07:35

So long as he doesn't do the dance that drove a million Frenchmen wild, it'll be OK.

Viggooooh · 03/04/2024 07:35

VestibuleVirgin · 03/04/2024 06:20

Can he keep it in the cabin or is it so big it has to go in the hold?
Do he have to have extra large people on the opposite side of the plane so that it doesn't list to one side?
When are you going to Nice? I ask because I am going in May, so, is there any danger he and his endowment will be striding down the Promenade des Anglais then ?

Edited

Grin having to hold my snort in as next to sleeping dd

Elecrricmaracas · 03/04/2024 07:34

Are you implying that no French men possess enormous dongs?

TheCadoganArms · 03/04/2024 07:34

In spas, swimming pools, saunas etc the French are pretty strict on what swimwear to use for hygiene reasons. On the beach wear what you want.

xSideshowAuntSallyx · 03/04/2024 07:34

I just had to Google this, I never knew this was a thing. I can't remember all men in speedos when I went to a waterpark when I went to France with the school years ago (it was 30 years ago though) and as a 15 year old I'm sure it would have been something I remember (I remember the hot surfer boy instructors after all🫣).

Ginmonkeyagain · 03/04/2024 07:32

@Itwasafterallallaboutme The French have very strict swimming pool hygiene rules. No swimwear that can be worn as outdoor clothing (which rules out the longer, loose board short syle trunks British men often wear), mandatory showers before entering the pool and many municipal pools enforce the wearing of swimming caps.

MississippiAF · 03/04/2024 07:31

lol you missed April fools

Ramalangadingdong · 03/04/2024 07:30

Apparently the actor Errol Flynn used to wrap his around his leg and sort of bind it to the leg with string.

Ginmonkeyagain · 03/04/2024 07:29

May be he could cut out the middle man and head down the coast to Cap d'Agde to avoid this issue.

shoppingshamed · 03/04/2024 07:28

RampantIvy · 03/04/2024 07:09

Waiting for the deletion.

It's the school holidays after all.

Are French swimwear dictats on the national curriculum now? Any school child who knows about those and is willing to get up at 6am to fool a bunch of early risers should be taken to a doctors pronto imo

Or do you mean that a teacher who for some reason doesn't have internet in term time and doesn't need a well deserved break is responsible?

Both seem extremely unlikely to me

onemoremile · 03/04/2024 07:27

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 03/04/2024 07:11

I just had to check the date on the OP in case it was posted on the 1st April, but no, it is today's!

I'm sorry if I am being a tad unfriendly, but I am not even going to try to give PlumEagle any advice.

However, I did not know about this rule about speedos, is any kind person willing to tell me why the French would come up with such a mystifying rule?

It is because board shirts and similar are likely to be worn as all day shorts and get grubby. The whole point of Speedo's is that no one in their right mind would wear them unless they're actually swimming.

LlynTegid · 03/04/2024 07:24

Let us assume for a minute that this is a serious post.

There are male swimming trunks made out of the same material that are larger, such as the kind worn by Olympic swimmers. In black or other dark colours.

I am assuming that the OPs DH does not drive a BMW or an Audi, as men who drive them have insecurities about their size.

Toofattofly · 03/04/2024 07:20

Wish you'd put a trigger warning at the beginning of your post op, I've gone right off these sausages I'd cooked for breakfast 🤮

CherieBabySpliffUp · 03/04/2024 07:16

Tell him to tuck, he'll look like a walking Ken doll but at least he won't cause a stir with his manliness. Or is he too big? Hmm

Shiningout · 03/04/2024 07:15

What a thread title to wake up to

Bimblesalong · 03/04/2024 07:13

I am also going in May. Can you set him up at the other end of the beach to draw the crowds so I can have a bit of space please.

MrsWinkly · 03/04/2024 07:13

AnotherCountryMummy · 03/04/2024 07:04

Gosh, I feel quite put off my breakfast.

I know...cursing my vivid imagination right now 🤔😖
Think I'll stick to the gardening chat for a bit, just until OP works out what to do about the possibility of the Gendarmerie swooping in on her DH 👀👮🚔

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 03/04/2024 07:11

I just had to check the date on the OP in case it was posted on the 1st April, but no, it is today's!

I'm sorry if I am being a tad unfriendly, but I am not even going to try to give PlumEagle any advice.

However, I did not know about this rule about speedos, is any kind person willing to tell me why the French would come up with such a mystifying rule?

OiGetOff · 03/04/2024 07:10

Hello man.

cerisepanther73 · 03/04/2024 07:10

Why doesn't he wear 🤔 vintage victoriana means swimming costume then? L.o.l 🤣

RampantIvy · 03/04/2024 07:09

Waiting for the deletion.

It's the school holidays after all.

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