Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband lost his temper and bruised our child's arm

60 replies

Babibel · 02/04/2024 21:09

It's not the first time. It's the 4-5th times over 4 years. Our child can go very far when he is hungry or misunderstood. He kicked his dad in the bus, spat, said bad words. I advised his dad to try to talk about something my son likes, or change seat, or stand next to him, etc...Instead husband sat like a stone, being kicked and he ended up grabbing him very hard to the point that my son has bruises on his little arms. I can understand grabbing, I can not understand squeezing this hard. I was not there, I just saw the results when they came home.
He loves his son but, this happens. (Me, I am abused mentally, but that's another topic).
Thoughts?

OP posts:
AgentJohnson · 02/04/2024 21:20

Me, I am abused mentally, but that's another topic

It isn’t a separate topic, it’s a pattern of behaviour.

Original poster
Babibel · 02/04/2024 21:19

Froggy99 · 02/04/2024 21:14

You are being unreasonable if you plan to tolerate this behaviour. This is not OK, why would you want to stay with a man like this? Get out as quickly and safely as you can. Good luck.

We live in his country. We are both from European countries but I don't feel like proceeding here, I'm too scared to get trapped. I want us to move to my country first.

OP posts:
KidsandKindness · 02/04/2024 21:17

Oh, I see, he kicked his Dad! Now it makes sense. In that case your DH needs to learn some parenting skills. However, even if he's open to this, which I think it unlikely if he's the sort of person to let bad behaviour continue, until he can no longer control himself, and then lashes out, I don't think I'd be happy to leave my child in his father's sole care in future. As a previous poster said OP, I would be seriously planning on leaving, as this man is obviously unable to control himself, and I'm kind of wondering as you've mentioned mental abuse, how long it will be before he lashes out at you, if he hasn't already. So if you have any family you can turn to, please get their support, and get rid of this man before he harms you or your son any further. This is NOT acceptable!

Original poster
Babibel · 02/04/2024 21:17

KidsandKindness · 02/04/2024 21:12

Sorry OP, I don't understand what you mean when you say 'He kicked his son in the bus, spat, said bad words.' Do you mean your son spat and said bad words, if so, what does 'he kicked his son' mean?

Sorry, I corrected that sentence. Our child was the one hitting his dad in the bus. Then his dad grabbed him.

OP posts:
WhereIsBebèsChambre · 02/04/2024 21:16

How old is your son, why was he kicking and spitting at his dad?
Do you not parent him when he does this and just try and placate him?

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 02/04/2024 21:15

What you choose to put up with for yourself is one thing, what you choose to put up with for your child is a whole other thing. You cannot accept him behaving like this and if it were me I'd be offloading him and keeping my child safe. Bruises on arms this week, what would it be next time? Please, get rid of him and get help for yourself and child.

Branleuse · 02/04/2024 21:15

Are you concerned about your son's behaviour at all? What makes him tantrum like that?
Do you think he might have special needs?

Froggy99 · 02/04/2024 21:14

You are being unreasonable if you plan to tolerate this behaviour. This is not OK, why would you want to stay with a man like this? Get out as quickly and safely as you can. Good luck.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 02/04/2024 21:12

Take photos of the bruises.

Make plans to leave. Suggest you call women's aid for help with the practicalities.

KidsandKindness · 02/04/2024 21:12

Sorry OP, I don't understand what you mean when you say 'He kicked his son in the bus, spat, said bad words.' Do you mean your son spat and said bad words, if so, what does 'he kicked his son' mean?

Swipe left for the next trending thread