Husband lost his temper and bruised our child's arm

OP, do NOT just take your child to your country without consent as some people are suggesting. That is kidnap and you could be forced to return your child to his father, out of your custody.

You must document everything and take advice from a lawyer. Try to find a women's charity that will help you with some free legal advice. But your priority must be keeping custody of your son, primarily so everything has to be above the law.

So this is the fourth or fifth time that he’s injured your child and you are still with him. You need reporting to the Police and children’s social care, as does your partner. You are failing in your duty to protect your child. Disgraceful.

Your husband sounds horrible. I hope you do find the strength to leave him.

I think you will also need support to manage your child's behaviour after you move away (which it sounds like you are planning to do).

My stepdaughter was incredibly violent a few years ago - similar age, similar behaviours. She'd grown up around an abusive alcoholic mother (now deceased). It's taken a lot of calm and stability to get her calmed down and stabilised. My husband found it really difficult for a while, to cope with her.

Leaving will not be a magic cure, but I hope you can find the support you need to build a better life for yourself and your son.

We need to be very careful about potential advising the OP to commit intermational abduction.

Also we can't say if the actions are illegal as we don't know the country she currently resides in.

Your husband is abusing you and your son, physically and emotionally. You need to take steps to leave him. Contact Women's Aid for advice if necessary. You need to get away from him, with your son, before you start trying to leave the UK.

I suspect your son behaves the way he does because, as you say, he has grown up around a man who is aggressive and abusive and has a temper. He probably has a lot of resentment towards his father.

Gaslighting

Save up. Buy a plane ticket and leave. Make a record of everything.
Take your child to a doctor because he may have developmental issues.

And also going from ignoring it for ages then straight to physical violence is another red flag, he went from 0-100. That's not how you parent, he's acting in anger.

I am a school safeguarding lead. It is illegal to use physical chastisement against a child that leaves a mark. This is what your husband has done. It sounds like he is also abusive to you. You must take action now. Please look online at how to make a referral to social services in your area or speak to your child’s school after the holidays. They will not seek to remove him from your care if you engage with them and will recognise you are also suffering abuse. They will be able to support you in getting away from your husband.

And why exactly do you think this child is being so aggressive? Maybe because he's been hurt by his abusive father multiple times and also sees his father emotionally abusing the mum on the daily?? The fact people can't see this is crazy, the father is an abuser, the child is lashing out at that.

Your child is a victim of abuse just by living in an abusive home.
There is a pattern of behaviour where your husband is bruising your child, his response is not proportionate to the situation and is physically abusive.

Your child is likely deeply affected by his environment and is lashing out, if he does mention this to an adult and social services become involved you, as his mother, will be expected to protect your child and safeguard him from the risk of harm.

You need to leave, and quickly. Please call Women’s Aid, they will help you.

He already lies, to suit his narrative. Where are your boundaries and instinct to protect your dc? Go on a visit to your country and refuse to return. Can he legally stop you leaving? The longer you tolerate this the worse it will become and more difficult to leave.

He has hurt your child on 4 or 5 occasions, and you are still there?

I have one question: what are you waiting for?

What country are you in now?
Where was your son born?

From what you've said I think you're currently living in the UK, if that's right, then please, please OP, go to your doctor and tell them EVERYTHING that is going on. Tell them that you are being mentally abused, and that that abuse is now turning physical with your son. That you don't feel able to leave because you don't earn enough to be independent, and ask for their help. I feel sure that they will be able to put you in touch with the right people to help you through this, but please, whatever you do, don't make light of what is happening or of anything that has happened previously, be honest, it's the only way to get the help you need.

Other than that, how soon do you feel you would be able to get away to your home country, if you're looking at weeks, months or even years, rather than days, then you really NEED to take action NOW, as this situation is NOT going to go away on it's own. In years gone by, women had to put up with this sort of treatment in the UK, but not any more, and just because you're not from the UK, please don't think that no one will help you. Sending you a big hug, and wishing you the strength to do the right thing for you and most importantly your child, as he has no one else to advocate and protect him, just YOU!

You need to regain some power, freelancing isn't working if you can't rely on it as an income either give it up or take a second job.

What would happen if you asserted boundaries on how he talks to you and made it clear you won't stand for it?

At the moment you are living in an abusive relationship, your child sees that, sees the modelled behaviour. His behaviour is communicating that things aren't right, he won't behave better in that environment, his behaviour will get worse. In a few short years he will be bigger than you and will start treating you as he has seen his father do. Your decisions now will impact all relationship he has in adulthood and how he treats his future partners.

What steps do you need to take to be independent? You need to work them out and start taking them, get yourself in a position to leave. I would never normally advocate just getting on a plane with a child but he is being abused by his dad. What laws are there in the country you are in. Can you just up sticks and move back home, and start afresh

Is it your husband, emotionally abusing you?