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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to go off sick before I am?

62 replies

Ihaveneedofwaternear · 02/04/2024 16:43

I think I'm close to burnout or a bit of a breakdown or something. My anxiety is getting worse and worse, I'm finding myself starting to detach from things, which is usually a sign it's getting really bad. I'm permanently exhausted and easily overwhelmed. My performance at work is suffering.

This has happened before, and I just kept going and going until eventually one morning in work I just couldn't function. I went to see my manager, burst in to tears, and ended up going off sick for 2 months.

I've had a block of therapy with a psychologist, which was really helpful. I've reflected and considered what triggers my anxiety, what I need to stay healthy etc. But it's very hard with young kids and a job (albeit part time) to actually do those things. My anxiety has been up and down a lot since I went off (1.5yrs ago now), and I've tried to keep working on it and putting strategies in place and things. But it's not working now, and I feel like I'm heading for the point of going off again.

I feel like a need a complete break to reset a bit, reflect a bit more on why I keep getting to this point, do some of the things I know will help (organise life, exercise, healthy eating and good routines), and mainly just rest. Rest my mind and body.

How do you get that break? I can't afford to use annual leave coz I need it all for the kids holidays. But I'm not sick, so is sick leave completely unethical?

I know we could all do with a break like this. But I really feel like I'm going to not be able to keep going without ending up sick anyway, and in worse shape mentally.

OP posts:
brocollilover · 02/04/2024 18:02

how part time?

brocollilover · 02/04/2024 18:01

what does your partner (if you have one) thinks?

haveyoutriedturningitoffandonagain · 02/04/2024 18:00

brocollilover · 02/04/2024 17:57

you went off for two months with stress 1.5 years ago? and sick time i. between?

it’s possible that this job simply isn’t for you

Yes I expect her reflecting will cover that

brocollilover · 02/04/2024 17:57

you went off for two months with stress 1.5 years ago? and sick time i. between?

it’s possible that this job simply isn’t for you

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 02/04/2024 17:20

You are already ill - anxiety, overwhelmed, exhausted.

IMHO, you are much better to take sick leave before you hit rock-bottom. That way you still have something left to build your recovery on. If you leave it until you are fully depleted, it will take you much longer to recover.

If you were on my team, I would prefer you to take sick leave now. Any later and the impact will be greater. I would appreciate someone coming to me in advance rather than hiding it until they crash. (I would have hoped to have picked up on it beforehand but it's not always possible unfortunately).

haveyoutriedturningitoffandonagain · 02/04/2024 17:15

It will depend on your employer.

I feel like a need a complete break to reset a bit, reflect a bit more on why I keep getting to this point, do some of the things I know will help (organise life, exercise, healthy eating and good routines), and mainly just rest. Rest my mind and body. a lot will tell you to take annual leave for this.

Others will say you're already sick so yes go sick.

Only you can decide if it's right for you to use sick leave. Depending which type of employer you have will affect what you tell them.

Nevermindtheteacaps · 02/04/2024 17:01

What causes your anxiety? I would gently suggest that a break may not be the solution, rather it's proper strategies you need. I find exercise first thing is game changing for anxiety.

A break surely just kicks the can down the road?

Greendoorsaremyfavourite · 02/04/2024 16:59

I was in exactly the same place last April. Ended up having 6 weeks off work and it helped massively. Something needed to turn off for a while, and work was the only thing I could walk away from for a while.
Take the time before you reach breaking point, it'll be much more difficult when you get to that point.

NewYearNewJob2024 · 02/04/2024 16:55

YANBU.

Go off now before you get to breaking point and do whatever it is you need to do to get back to a better place.

Take care OP

mynameiscalypso · 02/04/2024 16:52

But you are sick? I've done both - waiting until the point of breakdown and going off sick and recognising when I was heading that way and going off sick. The latter was so much easier to recover from.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 02/04/2024 16:49

You're already ill, just more aware or your declining mental state by the sound of things. A short break now may give you the space for a reset and mean you can put strategies in place and get back to things more quickly.

tiredofthisshitt · 02/04/2024 16:45

Absolutely not BU. I'd say you're already ill. Mental health is a big deal, and I think it's responsible to take time off before it becomes huge, which will no hopefully mean that you need less time off in the long run.

It happened to me. I knew I was struggling (I work with children so need to be ok). I took 3 weeks off, and worked on getting better - gym, cut out drinking etc) and went back feeling tons better. Not had time off since.

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