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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if anyone else who has a child that plays football experiences so much twattery?

114 replies

YaMuvva · 02/04/2024 14:55

My 7yo DS plays football every week - training on Saturdays followed by a match at the arse crack of dawn every Sunday. 10yo DD used to do the same until last year when she decided to stop.

I’m absolutely supportive of my children’s hobbies but I’m totally fed up of turning up on cold, windy wet morning to have the experience ruined by other adults.

Regular problems I’ve seen for years include:

  • Opposing team having much older children playing in matches. Three weekends on the bounce I’ve seen children who are aged 10-11 playing in DS’s Under 7 team. Our team works really above board and the coaches are sticklers for the rule so despite the progress they always move a child up to the correct group and never let them play down. Other coaches seem to want to just win no matter what - some of the kids practically have facial hair
  • Screaming parents at the side of the pitch. Especially when they try to overrule the (volunteer) ref or just become overbearing and bossy towards kids. Im very much of the opinion that at this age it’s supposed to be fun and think it can’t be fun to watch your parent bellow instructions from the side of the pitch.
  • when parents get overly involved in what the kids are doing. Every week someone marches over at half time to tell their kid what they should have been doing. If you want to do that volunteer to be a coach!
  • Dogs being brought to games and being allowed to bark, shit and bother people. I’ve seen dogs piss up the bag of footballs, try and chase the ball and going to nip other dogs or children. What’s the point when you aren’t even walking them they’re just standing there?
  • Younger children being allowed to roam free. On Sunday a toddler who can’t have been older than 2 was wandering on the pitch during warm ups and the mum got huffy when a ball hit him. It isn’t daycare!

DS’s coaches are amazing and they have the patience of Saints. They are volunteers who put huge amount of efforts into many teams and I feel angry for them that they have to tolerate this rubbish too.

Is it just me? Or is this just grassroots football? I’ve started to say things but I’m conscious that I don’t want to make enemies!

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 02/04/2024 20:38

YANBU. It's been about 10 years since my eldest played but he played one match when he was 10 and one of the opposition had a beard! Mind you, their goalkeeper was the same height as DS3 who was 5 at the time.
And the parents! Our team were pretty much OK (we lost a lot and we were all used to it) but I will never forget the headscarfed harridan from a team in the big town nearby who spent the entire match literally braying at her son to "Go for that one, the little one" referring to the shortest member of our team. She was hideous but her Audi 4x4 got a flat tyre at the return match and even her own team's parents left her to sort it out herself.
I do not miss those football days.

ChipsAhoyyy · 02/04/2024 20:36

The age thing doesn’t happen. My son has played grassroots football for 7 years. Players have to register and cards are checked before matches. Older kids cannot play for younger years. They can only play for older years (eg my son played a season as an under 9 when he was 8). The variation in how kids look though is vast. My son is now playing kids who either have beards or who look about 7.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 02/04/2024 20:17

I'm surprised by the older children playing. Our FA brought a new rule in a few years ago where each team had to provide the ref with a team sheet including photos before each match and it was checked against players pre match.

The other stuff doesn't get better as they get older. My DS played until u17 and my DD is still playing at u18s. The boys football was way worse than anything DD has has to endure. She did play for a boys team until u15 though and got so much hassle and harassment that she ended up quitting half way through the season

Meecrowavay · 02/04/2024 20:15

It's always been like this. Let the kids enjoy it. Rugby much friendlier and enjoyable. Although they all usually want to play football more!

waterrat · 02/04/2024 20:12

I wish my son loved a different sport!!! it's the absolute worst - it ruins it for the kids - and it is all about adults and their egos.

my husband often referees games and has had all sorts of threats/ violence - from kids, from adults - parents/ other coaches.

that is not to even mention the kids left heartbroken only allowed to play for 3 minutes because the ego maniac coach cares more about winning a game of 9 year olds than that they all get to learn and play.

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 02/04/2024 20:08

YANBU.
My husband is a coach and has considered leaving this year as the club are against the wankers pparents being challenged in their behavior.

With regards to the Children.
Children are allowed to play 1 year above their age group. If this is not being adhered to you can report this to the FAW or FA.

The club should do this as well, and you should challenge them if they are not as it is a safeguarding concern.

Original poster
YaMuvva · 02/04/2024 20:03

Dorriethelittlewitch · 02/04/2024 15:19

Dc1 has played for 2 years now (he's 9). Somethings annoy me but they are minor compared to your list.

All his team were born in the same calendar year. Dc1 is actually the eldest with a feb birthday. They towered over their opponents on Sunday though so there is definitely some variation in size. One of dc1's teammates (they're also in the same class at school) is smaller than 5 year old dc2.

Haven't noticed the dog/sibling thing being an issue. Certainly never on the pitch during a match.

A few annoying parents definitely.

See it’s not always their height which makes it obvious they’re older it’s their faces. I know some tall 7yo’s but they don’t have the face of a 10yo.

I know the coaches have reported teams to the FA before but it’s impossible to police/prove sadly

OP posts:
Dorriethelittlewitch · 02/04/2024 15:19

Dc1 has played for 2 years now (he's 9). Somethings annoy me but they are minor compared to your list.

All his team were born in the same calendar year. Dc1 is actually the eldest with a feb birthday. They towered over their opponents on Sunday though so there is definitely some variation in size. One of dc1's teammates (they're also in the same class at school) is smaller than 5 year old dc2.

Haven't noticed the dog/sibling thing being an issue. Certainly never on the pitch during a match.

A few annoying parents definitely.

Original poster
YaMuvva · 02/04/2024 15:19

mynamechangemyrules · 02/04/2024 15:04

It's awful isn't it?! All 3 of mine play from u7-u13 and it's shocking.

Have to say that the dog thing (I have a dog btw!) is the most awful... where I used to live (Asia) dogs wouldn't be allowed anywhere near pitches- with good reason!

And parents comments are so shit. I know that I don't know anything so I keep quiet with an occasional clap and well done, for either team, but I was next to a woman last weekend who kept saying 'maintain defensive line' and other quasi- coaching shit and her little boy (u7) was objectively pretty terrible and got progressively worse the more she yelled 'advice'.

Gary Lineker's interview about his parents not giving sideline tips is good.

YY to the quasi coaching! That’s exactly it. Also the terms the wannabe Juergen Klopps use rarely make sense to a 6yo!

DS was running the other week in his match to score - he did really and well went from one end of the pitch to the other with a much bigger child at his heels and unfortunately was tackled at the last second just before he was about to score. It happens, and whilst it wasn’t a tackle that broke the rules, the speed of which him and the other kid were going meant DS went flying and had a little cry (before brushing himself off and getting on with it). While he was crying the parents on the other team were really over praising this kid who tackled him and kept saying “good job Seth amazing chop down” and high fiving him again and again which I think was really inappropriate when the child he ‘chopped down’ was crying in pain. What happened to humility being a virtue!

will check out Gary Lineker’s interview!

OP posts:
DanielGault · 02/04/2024 15:17

My H is involved in a club in a caretaker capacity. He played himself to a decent level, so he'd know what he's talking about iyswim. He was absolutely horrified to see what was going on with really young kids now. Ridiculous levels of competition, spending on kit, dumping really young kids (9/10) deemed to be 'not good enough. And this is a nothing club. Brutal.

mynamechangemyrules · 02/04/2024 15:04

It's awful isn't it?! All 3 of mine play from u7-u13 and it's shocking.

Have to say that the dog thing (I have a dog btw!) is the most awful... where I used to live (Asia) dogs wouldn't be allowed anywhere near pitches- with good reason!

And parents comments are so shit. I know that I don't know anything so I keep quiet with an occasional clap and well done, for either team, but I was next to a woman last weekend who kept saying 'maintain defensive line' and other quasi- coaching shit and her little boy (u7) was objectively pretty terrible and got progressively worse the more she yelled 'advice'.

Gary Lineker's interview about his parents not giving sideline tips is good.

Remmy123 · 02/04/2024 15:01

No. Three kids that have played for years.

you cannot have kids play down it's against the FA rules.

yes you get the odd Wally parent shouting on the pitch but nothing like what you are describing!

BakedTattie · 02/04/2024 14:58

Not just you at all,

my husband is a coach and he Is very blunt with the (idiot) parents who are acting billy big baws.

Flossieskeeper · 02/04/2024 14:57

It’s not just you. I witnessed all the above 20 years ago. Middle ds never got into a team to play as it was a win at all costs team. Saturday kids football attracts all the Twattery.

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