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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if anyone else who has a child that plays football experiences so much twattery?

114 replies

YaMuvva · 02/04/2024 14:55

My 7yo DS plays football every week - training on Saturdays followed by a match at the arse crack of dawn every Sunday. 10yo DD used to do the same until last year when she decided to stop.

I’m absolutely supportive of my children’s hobbies but I’m totally fed up of turning up on cold, windy wet morning to have the experience ruined by other adults.

Regular problems I’ve seen for years include:

  • Opposing team having much older children playing in matches. Three weekends on the bounce I’ve seen children who are aged 10-11 playing in DS’s Under 7 team. Our team works really above board and the coaches are sticklers for the rule so despite the progress they always move a child up to the correct group and never let them play down. Other coaches seem to want to just win no matter what - some of the kids practically have facial hair
  • Screaming parents at the side of the pitch. Especially when they try to overrule the (volunteer) ref or just become overbearing and bossy towards kids. Im very much of the opinion that at this age it’s supposed to be fun and think it can’t be fun to watch your parent bellow instructions from the side of the pitch.
  • when parents get overly involved in what the kids are doing. Every week someone marches over at half time to tell their kid what they should have been doing. If you want to do that volunteer to be a coach!
  • Dogs being brought to games and being allowed to bark, shit and bother people. I’ve seen dogs piss up the bag of footballs, try and chase the ball and going to nip other dogs or children. What’s the point when you aren’t even walking them they’re just standing there?
  • Younger children being allowed to roam free. On Sunday a toddler who can’t have been older than 2 was wandering on the pitch during warm ups and the mum got huffy when a ball hit him. It isn’t daycare!

DS’s coaches are amazing and they have the patience of Saints. They are volunteers who put huge amount of efforts into many teams and I feel angry for them that they have to tolerate this rubbish too.

Is it just me? Or is this just grassroots football? I’ve started to say things but I’m conscious that I don’t want to make enemies!

OP posts:
Barney16 · 02/04/2024 23:40

My DS used to play when he was little. I couldn't stand it and used to sit in the car with a book. No way was I freezing my arse off whilst frankly, loads of twats, kept screaming and jumping up and down. It was unbearable. However DS still plays now as a young man and loves it so my distinct lack of engagement didn't do him any harm.

Infracat · 02/04/2024 23:39

YaMuvva · 02/04/2024 20:03

See it’s not always their height which makes it obvious they’re older it’s their faces. I know some tall 7yo’s but they don’t have the face of a 10yo.

I know the coaches have reported teams to the FA before but it’s impossible to police/prove sadly

Show quote history

I don't get this because in our league, all the way since U7s, every child has a photo registration card which has to be shown to the ref at the start of the match. No cards = no match. It makes me laugh when there are bigger more developed kids and all the parents on the opposing side are shouting 'how old is he?' 'Should he be playing?'

Pheasantplucker2 · 02/04/2024 23:33

My son and his best mate are both 12. My son is 5 ft 8 and built like a brick wall. He looks like he should be babysitting his mate, who is way under 5ft and very slight. In fact, his mate is far better at football than my son and also a lot more mature! It is impossible to tell age at this stage, a lot of boys don’t grown to adult height until mid teens.

I agree about the parent bad behaviour though. I only go once in a blue moon as I’m usually working, and no nothing about football, but the aggression and ott competition makes me wince

Original poster
YaMuvva · 02/04/2024 23:24

FragileWookiee · 02/04/2024 23:23

our problem is our coach. aggressive shouting at my daughters team, constantly throughout the match, telling them what to do, where to kick it etc. Wouldnt mind if it was in any way constructive but hes never played football in his life. Im hating Saturdays and cannot wait for the season to be over. Would love to find a new team over the summer break.

This is the exact reason I was thrilled when my DD quit. Like I say these coaches volunteer their time and it’s so good of them to do that but you get the odd bully boy especially in girls football IMO

OP posts:
Original poster
YaMuvva · 02/04/2024 23:23

Trainstrike · 02/04/2024 23:17

I love the nonsensical shouting at 6 year olds - shape, drop back, square, cross it etc.

“Run it up the wing Lucas!”

”Get in the box Harry! IN THE BOX”

”Hoof it Mason!”

”Chop him down Darius”

Im gonna buy one of those foghorn things to toot every time on of these imbeciles shouts an instruction that makes no sense to a 6yo.

OP posts:
FragileWookiee · 02/04/2024 23:23

our problem is our coach. aggressive shouting at my daughters team, constantly throughout the match, telling them what to do, where to kick it etc. Wouldnt mind if it was in any way constructive but hes never played football in his life. Im hating Saturdays and cannot wait for the season to be over. Would love to find a new team over the summer break.

Trainstrike · 02/04/2024 23:17

I love the nonsensical shouting at 6 year olds - shape, drop back, square, cross it etc.

Original poster
YaMuvva · 02/04/2024 23:14

RedSuedePump · 02/04/2024 22:33

i’ve found my people!

my son 9 plays in a team and i cannot STAND some of the other parents (on our team!). constant sideline coaching, shouting, being in a mood when they lose. it’s pathetic!

the sound of one of the mums screeching “get rid of it” everytime one of our team gets the ball is sending me over the edge. considering they’ve been getting the “take your time” message hammered into them at training seems to have passed her by totally. (see also “one of yer”)

yes to the PP Gary Linkekar clip - i’m this close to sharing it on our team whatsapp. these parents need to get their own life and join an adult team rather than sucking all the fun out of playing footie for their kids

and breathe 😂

Yes I LOVE the Gary Lineker clip and may watch it loudly at the next match 😂

Honestly these shouty instructions are insane. I’m basically middle-aged and if I had to play football and someone was shouting ‘get rid of it’ I’d think “Get rid of what now?”. Also you’re right, if coaches teach them to hold onto the ball or take time passing it’s an instruction at odds with everything they’ve learnt.

OP posts:
Original poster
YaMuvva · 02/04/2024 23:12

mrsconradfisher · 02/04/2024 22:27

And that I can sort of understand but the OP is suggesting that 10/11 year olds are playing under 7 football and that I cannot get my head around.

My DS has just turned 13, it’d be like me trying to get him to play with the Under 9’s which is ridiculous.

Show quote history

Because they win. Which seems to be the only goal for some teams!

my DD played in a different team with a shouty coach who, as her skills didn’t improve with age, would sub her for 35 out of 40 minutes and I was elated when she quit.

OP posts:
Original poster
YaMuvva · 02/04/2024 23:10

Re the claims that the age thing isn’t possible, all it takes is dishonesty for opposing teams - I know our coaches have had concerns and raised them in the past.

The parents on DS’s team are mostly great and we have a nice little group that makes a cold day more bearable. But I die inside when I see particular teams on the match sheet as I know they have obnoxious parents (and actually occasionally not very nice coaches)

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 02/04/2024 22:50

I can't stand the football parents - they are so negative, yelling criticism at a bunch of 10 year olds who are trying their little hearts out.

I don't go that often thank the Lord but I've seen TWO parent punch ups on the sidelines.

Pathetic.

Trainstrike · 02/04/2024 22:50

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 02/04/2024 22:41

We have the FAW...
The other clubs report the issues.
The act.

Show quote history

Glad you said this, I was starting to get confused as we're in Wales and have never seen anyone checking photos! The local girls teams regularly field teams of mixed U6-U9s.

WaitingforCheese · 02/04/2024 22:48

My BIL was DESPERATE for his son to be a premiership football. He really thought he could just force it to happen.
He would be the one screaming at matches. He also kept changing clubs all the time and lying to the new coach that his son was brilliant, getting on the A team, after a few weeks he’d get pushed to the B/C team and then he would harass the coach (and once was asked to leave the club) and then find a new team and start again. DH went to see him play a few times, said he really wasn’t a natural at all.
DN lost interest and started another sport and it was the same again until he just quit. I mean, just let him play and enjoy it!

TheYearOfSmallThings · 02/04/2024 22:44

I wish my son (9) wanted to play cricket or hockey or tennis or something instead. It's not as bad as you describe here but I don't like the football parents, I don't like the roughness, I don't like anything about the atmosphere. I kind of hope my son gets it out of his system soon, although I've been hoping that for years.

I doubt you are right about the age thing though - I've heard parents make the exact same complaint here, and I know the boys on the other team and I know they are playing in the correct group. Some teams just have bigger, stronger more physical players and only play the strongest, and some teams have smaller younger looking players and give everyone a turn. It can be painful to watch.

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 02/04/2024 22:41

32softfeet · 02/04/2024 22:40

Do you not have anything like county FAs in Wales? In England this would be a safeguarding concern and of interest to the county FA, so the club playing kids at the wrong age could potentially be penalised by fines and other penalties from both the league and the FA so its not worth the risk to the club to allow that to happen.

Show quote history

We have the FAW...
The other clubs report the issues.
The act.

32softfeet · 02/04/2024 22:40

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 02/04/2024 22:28

But they're still all Minis.
So all she or the club can do is report to the league.

Do you not have anything like county FAs in Wales? In England this would be a safeguarding concern and of interest to the county FA, so the club playing kids at the wrong age could potentially be penalised by fines and other penalties from both the league and the FA so its not worth the risk to the club to allow that to happen.

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 02/04/2024 22:36

mrsconradfisher · 02/04/2024 22:34

But my point is, I very much doubt that it’s actually happening.

It’s not going to help either the older or the younger ones, and no child of that age is going to agree to play 4 years below.

Show quote history

I can't specify the exact age.
But it is happening.
We've had the emails off the FAW.

General emails not specifically calling us out.

mrsconradfisher · 02/04/2024 22:34

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 02/04/2024 22:28

But they're still all Minis.
So all she or the club can do is report to the league.

But my point is, I very much doubt that it’s actually happening.

It’s not going to help either the older or the younger ones, and no child of that age is going to agree to play 4 years below.

RedSuedePump · 02/04/2024 22:33

i’ve found my people!

my son 9 plays in a team and i cannot STAND some of the other parents (on our team!). constant sideline coaching, shouting, being in a mood when they lose. it’s pathetic!

the sound of one of the mums screeching “get rid of it” everytime one of our team gets the ball is sending me over the edge. considering they’ve been getting the “take your time” message hammered into them at training seems to have passed her by totally. (see also “one of yer”)

yes to the PP Gary Linkekar clip - i’m this close to sharing it on our team whatsapp. these parents need to get their own life and join an adult team rather than sucking all the fun out of playing footie for their kids

and breathe 😂

Upinthenightagain · 02/04/2024 22:28

Not sure about the age thing. Dd was saying something the other week about older girls but dh was there and hasn’t noticed. The rest though sounds about right.

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 02/04/2024 22:28

But they're still all Minis.
So all she or the club can do is report to the league.

mrsconradfisher · 02/04/2024 22:27

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 02/04/2024 22:23

Yes, they are registered with the club.
Our club wouldn't allow anyone to play without registration.

But nothing is stopping Joe from the U10s playing in the U9s game really except the club.
There is no one at games checking the kids.

Show quote history

And that I can sort of understand but the OP is suggesting that 10/11 year olds are playing under 7 football and that I cannot get my head around.

My DS has just turned 13, it’d be like me trying to get him to play with the Under 9’s which is ridiculous.

Hankunamatata · 02/04/2024 22:25

Parents are twats esp on football

Does your league have something like comet (I'm not in England) you have to have pictures of the kids on it who play matches so clubs can't sub players who are too old or too young

You can then appeal as usually loads parents take photos of the matches so evidence

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 02/04/2024 22:23

mrsconradfisher · 02/04/2024 22:22

Even at Under 7’s they have to be registered with the league/FA though? Otherwise it’s not an actual match in which case older kids playing together wouldn’t matter.

And I will say again, most 10-11 years would not ever want to play down 3 or possibly 4 (if they are 11) age groups. It makes no sense.

Show quote history

Yes, they are registered with the club.
Our club wouldn't allow anyone to play without registration.

But nothing is stopping Joe from the U10s playing in the U9s game really except the club.
There is no one at games checking the kids.

mrsconradfisher · 02/04/2024 22:22

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 02/04/2024 22:16

Those saying it's kot possible are not correct.
Those procedures mentioned are not in place everywhere.

In Wales Minis there is no Referee and there is absolutely no checking. At all.
We don't have to declare what players attend.

Maybe posters are talking about Junior leagues but certainly not in Minis

Even at Under 7’s they have to be registered with the league/FA though? Otherwise it’s not an actual match in which case older kids playing together wouldn’t matter.

And I will say again, most 10-11 years would not ever want to play down 3 or possibly 4 (if they are 11) age groups. It makes no sense.

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