To be pissed off that I can't get a doctor for my daughter?

In this situation I would have called 111 over the weekend and it would have been dealt with.

Yeah you should have stayed in A&E but yes you’re also correct that NHS primary care is in an absolutely dire state at the moment. Its terrifying how hard it is to see a doctor at the moment.

Triage nurses do have training to understand disabilities. They're trained to assume competency. Not all none verbal people have no understanding so they have to assume your child does understand.

She will have taken your answers on board, but it's best practice to engage with the patient regardless of disability. I'm sure you'd complain if the nurse only talked to you and pretended your daughter wasn't there, so she's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.

My daughter's consultants always talk to her rather than me. She's verbal with moderate learning difficulties and ASD and will not communicate with them at all. The information I give when she doesn't answer is always recorded but their focus is DD, so I'm not given masses of acknowledgement when I'm answering for her.

I do hope your Daughter feels better soon.

I'd be concerned that a child with presumed ear infection that hadn't been treated and had become lethargic, was vomiting and had facial swelling needed urgent reassessment in person not over the phone and ED may well be the right place for this.

I agree with this. Looking at it another way, what if the nurse had addressed the parent only? Then it would be ‘I attended a and e with my poorly disabled daughter and the triage nurse barely spoke to her -how rude , she’s disabled not invisible’.

You would hope they would have some understanding of disabilities, but ime ,the understanding is very limited.

YABU to expect to be seen within 2 hours at A&E
If it was an accident or an emergency you would stayed.
You would have complained if the staff hadn’t spoken to your daughter, and then you would have said she was being treated differently because of her disability. Sometimes people can’t win!

I'm sorry your dd is in such discomfort op but ear infections are not an emergency.

I had recurring ear infections as a child. They are very uncomfortable indeed but not life threatening. Please keep calm as your child will be picking up on your panic. No need to rush to a+e and get frustrated at triage.

Has she got a paediatrician?
I have a non verbal teen I get how hard it is when they can't tell you
My son had a paediatrician and she waa great when the GP ws next to useless
In my nearest A&E we have a paediatric department which made it a bit easier

You must be absolutely exhausted, I hope you are okay!

Any chance you could sneak a nap in whilst your little girl is napping? Things might feel more manageable after a bit of sleep.

I'm sorry the nurse didn't understand her autism either. That is just adding to frustration!

My GP holds afternoon appts back for poorly children, is it worth calling and asking now the morning rush is over?

Perhaps you're right, but this feels wrong to me. Aren't they supposed to have understanding of disabilities?

But pretty much everyone in A&E is in a bad situation. That's why they are there. Especially in the night.

Your dd wasn't going to die whilst she was waiting. That's what A&E are dealing with.

I'm not saying it's good enough because it definitely isn't but it's the same for every one of us.

I often ask the child regardless, expecting the patient to answer. I do this with anyone with disabilities as you just never know and it feels more human to me.

also often what people think Triage need to know isn’t actually what triage nurses are trained to need to know.

If you call 111, they should be able to arrange an out of hours doctors appointment for her.

Op if you’re in England your best bet may be a pharmacy under the Pharmacy First scheme where Acute Otitis Media (ear infection) can be treated for 1-17 year olds.

https://www.england.nhs.uk/long-read/launch-of-nhs-pharmacy-first-advanced-service/

it is also worth reading the flowchart they use to see whether they are likely to prescribe and if so what, see final page
https://www.england.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/PRN00936_ii_Pharmacy-First-Clinical-Pathways-v.1.6.pdf

I do really feel for you OP, it’s so upsetting when your child is unwell.

I used to get chronic ear infections as a kid, very rarely antibiotics helped. In reality only things that helped were:

paracetamol and ibuprofen

lying quietly in bed slightly propped up on pillows so ear can drain.

Lie on the “bad side” or if both ears bad, alternate so sometimes on one side, sometimes the other.

Hot water bottle under one ear at all times - really soothing.

Regular drinks of warm weak Ribena (vit C and very comforting and hydrating)

I took my dd to casualty recently and she was in absolute agony and we had to wait eleven hours. It was scary as well as there were drunks and people who had been in fights and all sorts.

I agree with you that it's a travesty that we can't get to see a doctor but on the other hand there aren't any so we can't.

My DD's issue was an eye injury and since then we have been to the eye casualty probably twenty times. We've been today in fact. The average wait is four hours. There are people with horrific conditions. Old people who have fallen, people who have been in accidents, workmen with bits of metal sticking out of them. Half of the patients can't see a thing.

A pharmacist can prescribe for minor ailments, although perhaps not a young child. If not they might have directed you to other help.

you shouldnt leave a and e its the same for everyone young and old, you just have to wait?
Thats the reality.

The job of the triage nurse is to ask the questions and make the observations that allow them to correctly identify how urgent the patient's need is, @JennyBeanR, and it sounds as if that is what they did.

Unfortunately they did not think your daughter's condition was as urgent as that of the people ahead of her in the queue.

If you can't get through to GP take her then instead to make an apt in person - they'll get her on the urgent list and you never know, might even see her while you're there.

Otherwise - 111 or even return to A&E if your instincts tell you to. Take what you need to a lengthy wait but you're more likely to be seen quickly if you go during the day

You should have stayed at A&E.

You can phone 111 24/7 and they can arrange an OOH GP appointment for you, but if your GP surgery are open now they will just tell you to contact them or phone 111 again after 6pm (in my experience).

Have you tried your GP again since the morning rush?