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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not go to the team day?

39 replies

AppleMango25 · 02/04/2024 11:59

I work remotely for a large company and travel once a month to various sites across the UK. Sometimes we have to travel more as we also have team days and events. I live in the north and most of my colleagues live in the south. A lot of our sites are based there too so I normally travel to them when we meet up.

I enjoy my job but we have just merged with another company and there will be redundancies in the coming months so generally feeling pretty deflated at the minute.

Anyway, one of my colleagues is pregnant and due to finish at the end of April and my manager has asked if everyone can attend a team day next Monday which is 4.5-5 hours away from where I live. They've picked this location as my colleague (understandably) can't travel far as she's heavily pregnant. She’s chosen Monday as it's the best day for her due to child care.

It’s not so much the location that’s the issue but more the day they’ve chosen to meet up as it means I will have to leave very early on Monday morning (think 5am) to be there for 9-10am. My other option is to travel halfway down on Sunday which is my day off and then the rest of the way on Monday morning. I will then have to stay over and travel back on Tuesday before work and I’ll probably be spending around 8 hours of my own time travelling which I won’t be paid for (I earn 26k if that’s important).

I have a good relationship with my manager and he always encourages us to take any time back that’s owed to us for travelling etc but it’s incredibly difficult as our workloads are so busy and we end up falling behind on tasks if we take time off unless it’s annual leave.

WIBU to say that I can’t attend due to the day it’s on but happy to contribute to a gift etc?

OP posts:
HaPPy8 · 02/04/2024 17:54

I think if you are in a job paying 26k that amount of travel in your own time is unreasonable so I’m on your side. If it were a very highly paid job I would think differently.

BIWI · 02/04/2024 17:47

AppleMango25 · 02/04/2024 13:33

@BIWI I've listed the reasons why Monday is harder. If it was Tuesday for example, I'd be able to work Monday morning, travel in the afternoon and stay the night ready for the meeting on Tuesday.

I will have to stay over on Monday night due to the distance. It's 4.5-5 hours by car (depending on traffic) and 6-7 hours by train with around 3 changes. If I was driving I'd have to set off by 5am, meet the team/work from 9-10am- 5pm and then travel home. I won't get home until 9-10pm (again depending on traffic). Surely you don't think that's reasonable or safe given I'd be up at 5am? I'd be exhausted.

Sorry, but those hours were ones I used to work reasonably regularly when I was going to certain clients' offices. So I do think you're unreasonable, given that they're only asking you to do it this once.

Where are you having to travel from/to that takes that long on a train/involves so many changes?!

Original poster
AppleMango25 · 02/04/2024 13:39

@Jovacknockowitch I agree I don't think it will make any difference with redundancies and I only say that because they've treated us quite poorly throughout this entire process.

OP posts:
Original poster
AppleMango25 · 02/04/2024 13:35

@CaterhamReconstituted I'm not sure what you consider to be occasionally but it's normally once or twice a month in my case and over time the unpaid hours for travelling do stack up.

OP posts:
Original poster
AppleMango25 · 02/04/2024 13:33

@BIWI I've listed the reasons why Monday is harder. If it was Tuesday for example, I'd be able to work Monday morning, travel in the afternoon and stay the night ready for the meeting on Tuesday.

I will have to stay over on Monday night due to the distance. It's 4.5-5 hours by car (depending on traffic) and 6-7 hours by train with around 3 changes. If I was driving I'd have to set off by 5am, meet the team/work from 9-10am- 5pm and then travel home. I won't get home until 9-10pm (again depending on traffic). Surely you don't think that's reasonable or safe given I'd be up at 5am? I'd be exhausted.

OP posts:
CaterhamReconstituted · 02/04/2024 13:21

It’s not unreasonable for an employer to require you to occasionally travel to another location for work purposes. Of course they should meet any expenses.

BIWI · 02/04/2024 13:17

I'm not really sure why Monday is harder than any other day! Or why you seem to think you'd have to stay over. Are you driving or getting the train?

I think - especially with redundancies in the offing - that YABU. It's not like you have to do this every week.

Jovacknockowitch · 02/04/2024 13:14

YANBU and I wouldn’t go imagining it would have any bearing on redundancy either - those will be determined either simply on costs or by arbitrary factors outside your control such as who they like.

Bramshott · 02/04/2024 12:21

YANBU to not want to go. Like PP though I'd probably show willing if redundancies are in the offing (unless you'd actually be delighted to be offered redundancy).

Original poster
AppleMango25 · 02/04/2024 12:16

@pootlin as far as I'm aware it's just a send off before she goes on maternity leave that's why they've arranged it on a day that works for her. I think everyone wants to meet up one last time in case some of us are made redundant as-well so I will be sad to miss it, but they've arranged it on the hardest day of the week without a thought for anyone else really. It's only our team meeting (not the other company). Last month I spent around 7-8 hours of my own time just travelling and it's been the same for the last 2 years so after a while it does start to grate on you if I'm honest. I probably sound horrible.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 02/04/2024 12:11

I wouldn't want to go either but I think I would if redundancies are on the horizon.

pootlin · 02/04/2024 12:04

Will the team day involve work and team building or just activities as a send off for maternity leave? Seems OTT to expect people to travel for the latter so YANBU if it’s the latter.

But if it’s a day of meetings and team building activities then I would make the effort to travel and show my face, as redundancies are on the horizon.

You don’t want to give them the excuse that you’re not a team player or aren’t ‘visible’.

MrsO3 · 02/04/2024 12:03

No, it wouldn’t be unreasonable of you at all

JudgeJudging · 02/04/2024 12:01

Not in the least unreasonable.