I'm not entirely sure if this is the right spot to post this, but I could really use some input. I've been doing some searching online, but I haven't found much that's been helpful. Lately, my boyfriend has been saying selfish things that make me feel uncomfortable. We've been together for over four years now, and although we live together, our shift work often mean we barely see each other.
A few months back, my mom was diagnosed with a form of MS. It's been tough, no doubt, but we're managing as best we can. However, her diagnosis has meant my boyfriend and I have been spending less time together. I've tried my best to communicate how I'm feeling and the stress I'm under.
One thing that's been bothering me is how he responds when I share my feelings. For example, when I mention that my mom is having a particularly tough day and I'm feeling sad for her, he'll often jump in with something like, "Yeah, I get it. I felt the same way when -insert something sad that happened to him-." At first, it didn't really bother me, but as it kept happening, it started to grate on my nerves. It feels like he's not really listening, just waiting for his turn to talk.
Last week, it all came to a head. He did it again, and I couldn't hold back my frustration. I asked him if he could just listen sometimes without making it about him. Well, he didn't take it well. He got defensive and snapped at me, saying he thinks about me all the time and that he's doing his best. When I tried to explain that he was doing it again, making it about himself, he said something about how I must think he's self-obsessed and dramatically said he wants to drive his car into the wall.
It's not the first time he's said something like that during an argument, and it's really starting to worry me. A few years ago, during another argument, he said something similar when I called him out on his selfish behaviour. I don't think he'd EVER actually hurt himself, but it still makes me uncomfortable.