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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not wait with my wife for her message?

282 replies

Cnthnfne · 01/04/2024 21:33

I’ll keep this brief: I (38M) was shopping with my wife (36F) and children (DS9 & DD7). After we had done most of our shopping, DW wanted to get a massage at a massage stall.

As we joined the queue, I asked DD is she wanted to wait in the queue with DW or if she wanted to visit a few shops with me & DS.
She said she’d wait with DW and I went off to another shop with DS.

After 5 mins, DW phoned me and said she wanted to go home: after 5 mins of waiting DD became bored and starter complaining about the wait and DW left the queue.

When I got back to them, DW was raging, annoyed at me for not staying and waiting with her. I offered to wait in line for her whilst she shopped but DW just walked off, towards the car park.

the journey back was in complete silence. She has been felling unwell lately, and perhaps I should have been more thoughtful but I feel her walking off and then it not talking to me is an overreaction.
we had some days book off this week but I fear they will be wasted as she’ll be in a foul mood.

OP posts:
Pigeonqueen · 01/04/2024 21:46

Can’t imagine anything less relaxing than a massage on a busy stall with lots of people waiting …! But I know that isn’t really the issue. Maybe offer to look after the dc another time so she can book herself in somewhere else as a treat?

AnxiousRabbit · 01/04/2024 21:45

Cnthnfne · 01/04/2024 21:43

I did try and take DD with me but she wanted to stay with my wife.

And? What did your wife want? Even if she agreed I would still be pee'd off to waste my time queueing only to have to give up because the kids were whining.

Sometimes you have to tell kids what is happening not let them call the shots.

Cnthnfne · 01/04/2024 21:43

AnxiousRabbit · 01/04/2024 21:41

She's not annoyed you didn't wait with her, but that you left with one child, leaving the other with her.
DD was always going to get bored and your wife had to give up her place in the queue.
She didn't want you to wait in the queue either.

She just wanted to wait in the queue alone in peace.

I did try and take DD with me but she wanted to stay with my wife.

OP posts:
AGodawfulsmallaffair · 01/04/2024 21:42

She sounds nuts.

Cnthnfne · 01/04/2024 21:42

The stall was very busy, hence the drama.
yes, she can be moody for a while. I have apologised but it’s cut no ice.

OP posts:
AnxiousRabbit · 01/04/2024 21:41

She's not annoyed you didn't wait with her, but that you left with one child, leaving the other with her.
DD was always going to get bored and your wife had to give up her place in the queue.
She didn't want you to wait in the queue either.

She just wanted to wait in the queue alone in peace.

BobbyBiscuits · 01/04/2024 21:39

All I can think of is how massively unrelaxing a massage would be at a stall in the middle of a busy shopping mall!
Is she usually prone to being moody for days after such a minor incident?
If so I'd consider having a serious talk. Does she need counselling? It's not fair for your partner to make you feel like walking on egg shells.
Could you set some time aside where you can both go for a pre-booked massage. Do you have people who can mind the kids?