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AIBU?

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To report this? What would happen?

163 replies

inbedalready · 01/04/2024 21:19

I work with children in a school, and within earshot of pupils, a colleague called her husband a f*** c...

I was shocked, horrified, don't know what to do. She shouted it 3 times. I don't think kids heard. What will happen to her if I report it?

OP posts:
ShoveItUpYourArseMargaret · 01/04/2024 22:03

So she was on the phone in a room she was alone in with no kids? I’d just tell her you can hear her through the walls, she may not have realised. No need to snitch.

CombatBarbie · 01/04/2024 22:02

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 01/04/2024 21:43

Boarding school? They will have staff and children today.

Unlikely..... One of the few holidays that align with normal schools.

BobbyBiscuits · 01/04/2024 21:59

Was the person actually addressing their partner, i.e they were having a face to face row?
I guess that's unprofessional. But other than that it was a private conversation between adults, after the school day has technically finished.
There's no proof the kids could've heard.
If you need to say something, could you not just pop your head round the door...say something 'i know the feeling, haha. But watch the volume as last thing I need is Timmy overhearing and yelling the c word'

WingSluts · 01/04/2024 21:59

At the most give her a heads up about being able to hear. Otherwise just drop it. It was after the end of the work day and clearly there is something unusual going on. No need to add to their worries.

fuckityfuckityfuckfuck · 01/04/2024 21:52

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 01/04/2024 21:43

Boarding school? They will have staff and children today.

No they won't. Live in staff, yes, but no children. Boarders go home for the holidays (Xmas, Easter and summer at the very least) or to a UK guardian if going home isn't possible.

LuluBlakey1 · 01/04/2024 21:48

It is very unprofessional behaviour. A member of staff in a school should not be arguing with another colleague and shouting 'You're a fucking cunt' at them, 3 x, wherever they are at work. The fact that he is her DH and they were in a classroom alone does not make it acceptable.
I know what I would have done as Deputy Head, I know what I would do now as a School Improvement Advisor if I heard it in a school. It needs addressing by a line manager- it's unprofessional and shouldn't happen. It suggests her boundaries are muddied between school/home, or that she has poor self-control.

Scarletttulips · 01/04/2024 21:47

Boarding school?

They we’re waiting for a bus home.

Leave well alone, wait and see if it happens again. Or why not check your colleague is ok? Mention you heard shouting and wanted to see if she needed anything?

SD1978 · 01/04/2024 21:46

So you overhear a private fight, between people who work with but don't know, and have never seen aggressive begphaviour from, which you heard because you were alone in the classroom, and a group of noisy children next door may or may not (probably didn't) hear it and you want to report her because you were shook by the language, and want her disciplined..... or maybe instead, do you know wnayone who knows her better? Or even slip a note in her pigeon box (if those still exist) anonymously, saying your sorry, but you overheard quite an aggressive argument with her husband, and wanted to let her know, not to embarrass her, but that to remind her the walls are thin. I wouldn't be running off to report a singular event, no.

ASighMadeOfStone · 01/04/2024 21:46

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 01/04/2024 21:43

Boarding school? They will have staff and children today.

The children were waiting for buses to take them home.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 01/04/2024 21:43

fuckityfuckityfuckfuck · 01/04/2024 21:42

When was this? Schools are closed for Easter.

Boarding school? They will have staff and children today.

fuckityfuckityfuckfuck · 01/04/2024 21:42

When was this? Schools are closed for Easter.

JMSA · 01/04/2024 21:40

God, I've had an embarrassing flashback.
I used to work at a boys' high school and one day, in the middle of teaching, I urgently needed to pass wind. I quickly ducked into the room next door, under the pretence of needing a whiteboard pen, and let one out.
It must have been louder than expected and my pen excuse had fooled no one. On my return, the boys were slumped across their desks, crying with laughter Blush

grinandslothit · 01/04/2024 21:37

Mind your own business. tattletale are so annoying

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 01/04/2024 21:36

Youre planning on reporting a colleague for swearing at work?

takemeawayagain · 01/04/2024 21:36

I think you should have said something to her at the time, just to let her know she could be heard. I definitely wouldn't report her. I know how easy it is to think no one can hear you from one room to the next.

abracadabra1980 · 01/04/2024 21:36

JMSA · 01/04/2024 21:34

As I said, I'd have a gentle word with your colleague but not report.

I agree with this.

Mumforadecade1 · 01/04/2024 21:36

I would mind my own business they were in a private room and not in front of the kids or you . If you feel you must say something I would take her aside and ask her if she is okay as you could hear swearing from the room yesterday . If the incident had been infront of yourself or the kids it would be a totally different story .

JMSA · 01/04/2024 21:34

As I said, I'd have a gentle word with your colleague but not report.

ASighMadeOfStone · 01/04/2024 21:34

inbedalready · 01/04/2024 21:32

Is it out of character? I don't know, I don't know her very well. I'd never heard anything like this before.

You've never heard swearwords before?

ASighMadeOfStone · 01/04/2024 21:33

inbedalready · 01/04/2024 21:30

You can hear through the walls. I could hear very clearly in another classroom as I was by by self. other children were next door and would have been able to hear. I came out of my classroom, looked in to where the kids were, and they were being so loud and laughing about something else, that I genuinely don't think they heard.

This was at the end of the school day. Waiting for buses to go home.

"within earshot"
"would have been able to hear"
"don't think they heard"

It's make your mind up time.

Were the children who would have been able to hear, but didn't, 🤔 in the same room as Mr and Mrs X?

inbedalready · 01/04/2024 21:32

Is it out of character? I don't know, I don't know her very well. I'd never heard anything like this before.

OP posts:
EatCrow · 01/04/2024 21:32

Newsenmum · 01/04/2024 21:24

What were the exact words? We can swear on here right?

Flipping cardigans I imagine,

ASighMadeOfStone · 01/04/2024 21:30

I'm just wondering what our HT would say if I went to say Mr and Mrs X were having a row in a room that I wasn't in and I'm not sure if the kids heard the naughty words or not.

I think she might tell me to fucking do one and get on with my job tbh.

@queenofcruises nope. Not for a nanosecond. 😏

inbedalready · 01/04/2024 21:30

You can hear through the walls. I could hear very clearly in another classroom as I was by by self. other children were next door and would have been able to hear. I came out of my classroom, looked in to where the kids were, and they were being so loud and laughing about something else, that I genuinely don't think they heard.

This was at the end of the school day. Waiting for buses to go home.

OP posts:
Mayvis · 01/04/2024 21:28

So you weren’t with any children and you’re not sure if they heard anyway?

How old are the children who may or may not have overheard this private conversation that was taking place in a separate room?