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AIBU?

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To report this? What would happen?

163 replies

inbedalready · 01/04/2024 21:19

I work with children in a school, and within earshot of pupils, a colleague called her husband a f*** c...

I was shocked, horrified, don't know what to do. She shouted it 3 times. I don't think kids heard. What will happen to her if I report it?

OP posts:
Bluepetergarden · 02/04/2024 09:43

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 02/04/2024 09:39

Does not matter as she was vile, and disgusting in "earshot" of other people's children who do not expect seriously disgusting language like that spouted around them

OP, report her!

Do you need some pearls to clutch ?

cemetery · 02/04/2024 09:42

'My colleague is human and has a useless husband, should I add to her frustrations by taking petty revenge against her and endangering her employment?' would have been a more honest title for this.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 02/04/2024 09:39

JMSA · 01/04/2024 21:23

Is it out of character for her to behave like this?

Does not matter as she was vile, and disgusting in "earshot" of other people's children who do not expect seriously disgusting language like that spouted around them

OP, report her!

Dentistlakes · 02/04/2024 09:37

I wouldn’t report if you think the children didn’t hear. She probably wasn’t aware she could be heard. I might just mention you were able to hear their conversation so she’s aware and it doesn’t happen again.

Icehockeyflowers · 02/04/2024 09:36

Use your words

Patronising much???

Bournetilly · 02/04/2024 09:34

No don’t report her, keep out of it. It was outside school hours and no children were in her classroom.

Chucklecheeks01 · 02/04/2024 09:32

Use your words and speak to her directly. Ask if she is ok, as you happened to overhear what was being said. I cant believe that after one incident that they obviously thought no one could hear, you think the only option is to report them.

Otherstories2002 · 02/04/2024 09:13

Nothing will happen if it’s out of character beyond someone (not you clearly!) being concerned about her.

Alicewinn · 02/04/2024 08:57

I wouldn’t report them, they sound stressed enough already, but then again, I don’t work in a school. Trust your instinct.

user1492757084 · 02/04/2024 08:57

101Nutella · 02/04/2024 04:21

YABU
it did not affect their ability to do their job. No children heard
it was after teaching hours.
you have absolutely no context as to why she was saying this eg finding out horrific news.
this isn’t constructive, it’s going to damage her job and life. Jeez if I made a mistake I’d hope a colleague would check on me/ support me.

a human response would have been to knock on and ‘say everything ok? Heard a bit of noise out here and don’t want the kids to be worried.’ Or ‘sorry to interrupt- are you ok? You probably don’t realise but we can hear you outside and don’t want the kids to hear this’.

This. Don't snitch; it will not goanywhere.
Let the woman know that you heard her; it was sheer luck that the kids were being extra noisy next door.

PeaceandCakes · 02/04/2024 08:56

Oh, so you say it happened days ago and you bring it up now. 🤔

You have a wife and husband team working in the same school?

Are you a teacher, TA, admin? Dinner lady?

I don't think this is a reporting matter.

It's not good behaviour, but on the other hand the children were not in the room and were in another room.

And if you DID report, what proof do you have?

Your word against theirs and you could come off worse.

let it go.

PeaceandCakes · 02/04/2024 08:52

In the UK, schools are on holiday right now.

Where do you live?

FrancisSeaton · 02/04/2024 08:51

Globules · 02/04/2024 07:43

Yes, report. It's not ok behaviour in a school context.

In KCSiE terms, you have a low level concern. It's your duty to report it.

Someone has all the gear and no idea
wtf has this got to do with safeguarding?

LakeTiticaca · 02/04/2024 08:43

No keep your sticky beak out

MyHornCanPierceTheSky · 02/04/2024 08:40

Jc2001 · 02/04/2024 08:27

Do you really need help to work it out?

Its floppy crumpet isn't it?

Jc2001 · 02/04/2024 08:27

Newsenmum · 01/04/2024 21:24

What were the exact words? We can swear on here right?

Do you really need help to work it out?

blandadvertisement · 02/04/2024 08:08

For all you know, he might have just revealed he's having an affair and he chose work as the setting to tell her to 'avoid a scene'. All kinds of possible scenarios so if I were you, just have a quiet word. Say you heard 'them' (not just her) shouting and you wanted to make sure she's ok.

Nothing is to be gained by causing further trouble for a colleague who is already distressed.

DoreenonTill8 · 02/04/2024 08:05

I think everyone so far is a FRIGHTFUL COWARD as not one person had offered the OP smelling salts in all this trauma.
Imagine having to go to management colleague and report you earwigged on a private conversation, out of hours and they SWORE!! 😱😱

fourelementary · 02/04/2024 08:04

Actually I would report it. It’s a genuine concern for the well-being of both the colleague and her husband tbh. Colleague should have more self control than to be using those words and shouting at work. Husband might be at risk of domestic abuse. It shows that there is an issue of unprofessional behaviour and an overlap of personal and professional relationships going on that need addressed.
@inbedalready ignore people suggesting you’re a busybody etc or eavesdropping- doesn’t sound like you had much choice but to hear and it was lucky the kids didn’t. So yes, report.

Babsexxx · 02/04/2024 07:59

Lol nothing will happen to her if you report absoloutley ludicrous! It was the end of the school day your not even certain the kids heard?! This sounds like a non story to me 🤣

Eyeroll2024 · 02/04/2024 07:55

You're saying within earshot because no pupils heard, of course.

An adult used adult words you don't like in a private conversation with no children in the room. And you actually think this is something worth reporting? You should move to Scotland, they have a fun new clype law that would suit you.

Nothing would happen - all she has to do is say you're lying. And even if they believe you, what do you feverishly hope they do to her?

ASighMadeOfStone · 02/04/2024 07:54

Globules · 02/04/2024 07:51

Our private conversations all happen in the staff room, or in offices, away from the chance of any child hearing.

That wasn't the case here.

Yes it was. She's not said there were any students in the same room as the two colleagues.

Globules · 02/04/2024 07:51

ASighMadeOfStone · 02/04/2024 07:44

You'd really really be shocked if you heard the private conversations in our school (and probably any school in the country)

Our private conversations all happen in the staff room, or in offices, away from the chance of any child hearing.

That wasn't the case here.

ASighMadeOfStone · 02/04/2024 07:44

Globules · 02/04/2024 07:43

Yes, report. It's not ok behaviour in a school context.

In KCSiE terms, you have a low level concern. It's your duty to report it.

You'd really really be shocked if you heard the private conversations in our school (and probably any school in the country)

Globules · 02/04/2024 07:43

Yes, report. It's not ok behaviour in a school context.

In KCSiE terms, you have a low level concern. It's your duty to report it.