I'm fat, and look as though I should be, but I'm not.

Following. Am in the same boat, OP.
was always thin until my mid 30’s, and found it easy to lose weight if I wanted to.
Now, at age 46, I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been (am 5ft 2 and 9.5 stone.) it DOES NOT look good on me - all on my tummy and back, and out of nowhere, about 3 chins 😩
5 years ago, I could get into a size 6.
Now, I’m a 12, which doesn’t sound much, but when you’ve been used to being much smaller, it really looks massive on a small height and frame.

I turned 45 and the weight just piled on and my body shape changed. I also became peri-menopausal. I fucking hate it, nothing I do makes a difference.

I go to the gym 5/6 days a week, go for a walk almost every day, cycle when I can.

From 30 onwards I definitely put on weight far easier but could still lose it quickly and tone up too, even in 40s. But from late 40s to my age now 52, I can still lose weight but it’s an effort and I don’t enjoy exercise as much as I used to. I can’t run anymore due to plantar fasciitis.

I wouldn’t necessarily say you’re fat at your weight but I’m 5 ft 5 and at 10 stone people say I look good and don’t need to lose weight.

I personally think your breakfast isn’t filling, porridge and blueberries or puffed oat and fruit and yogurt would be better. Scrambled eggs on toast with mushrooms would be good.

I’d reduce but not cut out carbs. Try to snack on fruit or low fat yogurt or boiled eggs or veggies like carrot and cucumber sticks with hummus. Pop chips are nice. Buy and then make with the pots low fat jellies. You can have the odd chocolate or treat. Don’t deny the odd treat. An apple with low fat cheese is nice. Low sugar rich tea biscuits are nice. Don’t mistake thirst for hunger. I try eg to have 2 plums and a green tea after lunch when I go for my lunchtime walk.

I’m very much the same OP. I got through the pregnancies OK without too much permanent weight gain but lockdowns onwards I’ve just been so fat.

I’m 5’6” and was always so slim when I was younger - size 8 when young but still a steady size 10 from about 25- approaching 40. Was gaining a bit (maybe a 12) as we went into lockdowns but now I’m a 14 nudging 16. It’s just not me! I don’t feel like myself this weight at all.

I have done lots - I took up running, I’ve given up sugar entirely (or as much as you can) and eat a healthy pescatarian diet. But it doesn’t work. I am on a waiting list for an ADHD assessment which I think is relevant because I just can’t abide the feeling of hunger- I have a very impulse control for some things and if I’m hungry I do have to eat something or I can’t rest - but this was always fine when I was younger! I’m happy for it to be a healthy something but I’m not spending my life hungry. I also can concentrate when I am.

@CettePersonne I know where you are coming from, taking those before pictures were hard, I felt disgusted at what I had let myself become, stubborn back fat and a wobbly belly, my face was puffy and I had terrible spots from too much sugary junk.

Hit the gym hard and massively cut back throughout Jan, and come Feb whilst my weight remained unchanged, I could see a difference in my photos, and that spurred me on even more to keep going. If I had just looked at the scales, I would have felt disheartened and probably thought sod it.

I have a pair of jeans that I try on at the start of each month, in Jan I couldnt get them passed my thighs, today whilst they are still too tight, I can zip them up. Those pictures are the best thing I could have done for myself, nobody else sees them except me.

Try the Noom app. I’m in my 40’s, more MCs in the last 2 years than I care to talk about and 1.5 stone up on my preferred “top weight”. I did Noom a few years back but got an annoyed with their pricing strategy so I left. Luckily, I screenshot lots of their daily motivational messages and have been getting back into it this year. The psychological approach to weight loss works for me. Good luck 😊

I know the struggle. I ve been there. In my mid 40 s during covid lockdown I self medicated ( treated myself crisps & wine) and then with WW & exercise lost 3 stone BUT life has gone to shite now and no time or inclination for time for me...packing on pounds ( 1 stone up)
However, I will get back there
Prioritise yourself.
xxx

Sorry - from another in your boat. I'm 5'2 and scared to get on the scales. I think partially its age - i'm almost 39, but I do think it is 99% to do with that damn second child!!! I managed to lose the weight fairly well after the first, but after the second I am utterly exhaused, constantly have child colds and between that, work and general life, I am barely functional (I also enjoy weekend wine to take the edge of the giant list of life stresses). I did mange to lose 10 lbs last summer, mainly through walking, but I suspect i've regained some recently. Ah to be 25 again...

YANBU. I hit 40 and that was it. As someone who was previously very skinny and could eat whatever they wanted, I’m struggling to have to cut back and wonder how much I’ll have to cut down.
I drink too much wine, eat too many snacks, have a sedentary job, drink hardly any water.
Even worse I have thin ish limbs, all the fat is on my stomach and boobs, I resemble a beach ball.

I love this woman’s videos so much! Not only are her work outs interesting and effective, but she doesn’t talk through them!!!

start out with the Beginners Epic series because even if you’re not a beginner at exercising, they are tough!! I would also suggest not being too restrictive on food. If you restrict too much, your body will go into starvation mode and hold onto everything you eat!!! Snacking on salads, and vegetables with some fruits is the way to go. But do listen to your body. If you are hungry, eat!! The other thing to watch out for are the hidden things. Condiments, dressings, pasta/ curry/ Chinese sauces from a packet or jar are often way worse for us than we think as are fizzy drinks, fruit juices etc.

“health snacks” like protein bars or the type of things that market themselves as healthy options are usually bullshit and fresh fruit/veg/meal cooked from scratch is way better for you and often more filling.

I feel your pain, and it is tougher after 30 but sticking with things cooked from scratch or things “as nature intended” like fish, meat, grains, fruit and veg along with Caroline Girvan will hopefully help.

good luck!!!

I'm 5 foot 3 and 10 stone. I do hit 4 times a week. I don't look fat. I look fit and toned.

40s it's harder to lose weight. Fast 800 worked but I couldn't keep the weight off. So I joined slimming world (aka diet cult) and working well for me. Don't feel hungry or deprived and weight is coming off at a reasonable pace

At 5'2" she shall framed, 10 stone could be properly overweight. I'm 5'3" and at 10 stone I'd be chunky and wobbly

Sorry OP for some reason I thought I had read you was having a glass of wine everyday but see that I am wrong. I'm not saying that's a bad thing for those who do by the way. If that is your treat, build it into your week, you need a calorie deficit , about 500 calories per day or 3500 over the course of a week to lose a lb of fat. Bottle of wine is approx 700 cals

You could chuck some pilates in for diastasis recti and core strength.

I'm right here with you! I do yoga 5 days a week, walk 20k every day!

I swear I lived on cider and kebabs age 16-26 and weighed 8st. I'm now 40, live on veg and I'm 10st.

Maybe we should all get back on the raves/sniff/cider and see if that helps. ☺️

Yeah, whats the angst about taking pictures and measurements?

(disclaimer, I personally dont think measurements work because I swell up and all my measurements go up and down Ive noticed, very unreliable, but it works for others)

Why not? OP is getting down about trying to make changes to her lifestyle but she isn't seeing the results on the scales. This is another way of tracking progress as weighing yourself isn't always the best way, she could be gaining by doing strength training. Lots of PTs suggest this, and to take measurments rather than focus on the scales.

Do you have a fitbit/tracker?
For me the revelation came looking at my calories burnt in a day. I've had to change due to health conditions but I was still eating and drinking my norm as if I was a lot more active and exercising more.

I have to have a low calorie deficit to lose weight but also learnt about fluctuations around my cycle so I don't get demotivated and don't weigh those times.

Wine will be a factor but if you don't want to give it up switch to prosecco it's lower calories per glass and a proper stopper will keep its fizz.

You're not wrong OP. In the last few years I've had to cut my food down to the bare minimum to maintain a healthy weight. Regardless of filling proteins, extra beans, nuts, lentils and all the healthy things that are meant to 'keep you full for longer', I am always hungry and it's miserable. But it's the only way to keep the weight off.

I thought I'd get used to it eventually but it seems the choice (for me) is hunger or being overweight 🤣

If you don't want to be stuck in calorie restricting forever, consider strength training - lifting heavy weights. Its a long game - you won't lose weight in the short term, if anything you might gain a bit. However if you build up the amount of muscle you have on your body, the amount of calories you need just to maintain your size increases. Meaning that it's easier to maintain your weight, ie without having to go for depressingly low calorie limits or always counting calories. In the long run you'll gain some muscle and lose body fat, which for most people gives them more of the shape they're wanting. Strength training will also help you feel stronger and have more stamina for running around after kids, plus it helps bone density which is something we naturally lose as we get older.