I'm fat, and look as though I should be, but I'm not.

Good for you.

I am small Asian build and aged 53 and am 5 2. On the Asian bmi charts I am overweight at 9 stone 11 and obese at 11 stone 11. And yes I would look it. I am a normal Asian bmi at 7 stone 6 and look very healthy (apart from a disproportionate perimenopausal belly) and eat well.

Everyone carries weight differently and that’s why there is a range. Why can’t you accept there is a difference? Maybe your own insecurities are showing by your bitter posts. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@CettePersonne
I'm probably going to upset you here - but it gets worse when you get into your 50s/menopause . Slightly taller than you, I was in the 8 stones in my 20s, and around 9 1/2 stone when I became pregnant mid 30s. Like you - I was stuck around 10 1/2 stone early 40s and have spent the next 15 years losing a stone, putting it back and a bit more so I now weigh 11 1/2 stone .

Weight training and increasing protein / reducing carbs is often suggested as a long term measure in helping your body to improve tone, muscle and fitness . Perhaps give this a go? I would urge you to look at what suits you to get on top of this now, as something of a lifestyle change you can continue, as it really does get harder as you get older .

I’m quite anaemic and also housebound due to long covid - so it’s way down a list of stuff that the GP is wholly uninterested in unfortunately!

I put my ideal weight in lbs, and then times it by 12. That is your daily calorie goal. Out if that you have to factor in 100 grams of protein.
It takes a lot longer than just calorie counting, but it does work.
I’ve found protein and weight training the best way to tone up after my mid 30s

that is not a normal reaction to weight loss, have you spoken to your doctor?

Nice.

It is not insecurity. The BMI chart tells me that I am overweight. Yes, you can still look great at any weight, but pointless denying the facts! As a pp says, most of us are overweight now. It is not a good thing.

ETA: you are not overweight btw at that height and weight, so not sure why you have reacted so strongly to my post! The OP accepts she is as I accept I am.

I totally agree with this. OPs concerns are valid and there is nothing wrong to want to get back to a healthier weight or look. She is not calling anybody else fat.

I’m just under 11 stone at 5’1” and I’ve been marked as “high risk - obese” on my medical records. It’s made me feel shit. I lost half a stone last year just by gently reducing carbs but I also lost loads of hair - now I’m too scared to try again!

ok so lost a stone instead of projecting your insecurities onto random Mumsnetters. I'm 10 stone and 5'3 and I look great.

It is overweight though. I am roughly that weight and 5'3". I am overweight and look it. I look much better a stone lighter.

The thing is, the majority of us are overweight, so the dial for perceiving "fat" has shifted. People are also awfully touchy (with some justification) about it.

But our bodies are reacting against modern life - overeating (especially sugar, UPF), lack of movement (including as a minor aspect - conscious exercise), poor sleep etc. Lifestyle-affected diseases - cancers, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, mental health issues - don't care about messages such as "real men like curves" or "big girl energy".

No one should feel ashamed of their body. Who decided that a sticky-out belly was something to be "ashamed" of? Mine will never be flat no matter what my weight. But everyone should do their best to protect their health.

>10.5 stone at 5'2
>fat

Oh deary me.🙄

This. Investing in scales that also measure muscle and body fat is important. I know they are not hugely accurate but they are accurate enough to spot trends. This is why people the same weight can eat different amounts. Muscle is so important to maintain as we get older and therefore exercise become more important.

I hate to break it to you, but if you haven't thought about portion sizes before, you're probably in for a bit of a shock.

At some point, weigh out what you would consider a 'portion' of things like pasta or cheese, then look at the back of the packet and weigh out what it says a portion is. My 'handful' of grated cheese was 100g/400 calories and didn't even feel excessive

Also, that's not to say you have to stick to the portion size on the packet (literally nobody can survive on 30g cereal 'portions'), but an awareness of the calories of 120g instead of 30g will help you, rather than thinking I've had a bowl of cereal, must be x calories.

PP is right, you could try eating 'normally' but just weighing and tracking everything. Then you'll be able to see where to make some easy changes for some quick wins. Like I said, cheese was my big downfall, I had no idea I was eating so much and it was adding so much to my daily calorie intake.

Strength training is vital - you may not be able to out-exercise a truly bad diet but I am coming to believe that you also can't out-diet muscle loss.

Losing weight too fast and without building strength means you lose muscle mass alongside fat, which tends to lead to a lower daily energy expenditure because you tend to move less and muscle itself uses a lot of energy. Hence your calorie needs drop further and you get into a vicious circle. Training hard is good but you need to fuel that training for it to have maximum effect.

For context I'm 47 and have been steadily losing weight and gaining strength and fitness over the last 4 years. I only track food to make sure I am getting enough calcium and protein, and I am never starving so it is possible!

It definitely does get harder as you get older, but I am surprised it is such an issue at that height and weight. I am apparently the exact same height and weight as you, and while I would like to lose half a stone in an ideal world, I don't feel horrendously overweight. I am a size 10/12, and feel fit and healthy. I run and horse ride regularly, and have pretty much decided life is too short to worry about the slightly wobbly belly. Are you sure it is as bad as you think it is, or is it because you were so slim before, it seems worse than it really is now?

Try out a couple calculators.

https://www.calculator.net/macro-calculator.html

I’d recommend downloading my fitness pal app to track your food. Do it for a week or so without dieting, just what you would usually eat to get an idea of what you’re consuming. Then let the calculators guide you to an appropriate deficit.

I have a similar experience over the past few years since turning 40. I did the 3 week plan with Heath with Bec and learned a lot from it. It’s the first time I’ve stuck with a diet & the food is really good.

Sounds like you had a seriously tough time and never cracked it

lol at 'intuitive eating'

Thats what caused me to be 10 stone overweight.