I'm fat, and look as though I should be, but I'm not.

I'm probably similar in build to you. Older. 56. I found lifting weights...heavy weights totally transformed my body. I am ow very toned. Have significant muscle and less body fat I am still waaaaay heavier than in my 30s when I was 8 stone but I look so much better than I did 5 years ago.

Ditch the wine and reduce the carbs should get you losing some weight. Try and be T total for 2 months and I'll bet you'll lose significant weight.

@CettePersonne

To clarify - I'm not really fat. I am a bit over weight, and I look as though I should be.
You look as though you should be what? 🫣😂🤪 fat? Why do you look as though you should be fat?

Oh gawd my brain isn't braining

Also I'm aware I come across a bit over zealous about exercise - it's something I'm passionate about!

I'm very aware that you can't out exercise a bad diet. At the same time though if someone's TDEE is really low - which is more likely for women, and as we age, and have a sedentary lifestyle - it often makes more sense to increase muscle mass first, to give us a higher TDEE, then add in activity (eg steps or cardio) and then reduce calories gradually. Otherwise people can end up in situations where the calorie target they are trying to limit to is too low to be achievable realistically in the long term (assuming you're not one of the rare people who feels happy to live permanently off rice cakes/salad/grilled chicken - great if you can but it's not the majority of people)

Diets start in the kitchen but trying to diet without being able to add in any exercise is really, really hard.

@JudyBlumesBlubber that's an oversimplification of the message.

Yes you need a calorie deficit to lose weight
However the amount of calories you need depends on a number of factors, including your activity levels, age and the amount of muscle you carry on your body. When people talk about someone having a 'fast metabolism' that actually comes down to activity and muscle mass.

I can and do eat more than my boyfriend who is 7inches taller than me. I can also deadlift more than him. I couldn't eat more than him and stay slim if I didn't carry as much muscle as I now do. I'm a size 10. HTH.

I would forget about exercise.

Cut out carbs, sugar and dairy.

Hardly any fruit or root vegetables.

Oats, salmon, chicken and oat cakes with large salads.

Yes, you'll have to be hungry for a while.

Drink lots of water.

Yes, unfortunately it takes quite a lot of work to lose weight after 40. I have two rather than three meals a day and exercise (mainly strength training) 5-6 days a week. Walking is good as a bonus but not enough for me. I still have treats and snacks as life would be boring without it but if for instance I snacked on crisps of chocolate in the afternoon, I would adjust my evening meal down to something very light to compensate. Good luck OP, it’s doable but as others have said it takes time and a lifestyle change rather than being a quick fix.

It's a film quote.

OP I dint understand your title. You look as if you should be what?
But you are not what?
Fat?
But you've said you are fat.

I'm confused.
You are fat
You look like you should be fat
But you aren't fat

Say what?

The messages here are confusing..

Yes, exercise is vitally important for general health and ensuring bone density as we age, as well as contributing towards weight loss/maintenance for many reasons including endorphins highs.

Yes there is a small proportion of people whose weight gain can be attributed to thyroid and other medical issues. There’s no harm ruling those out.

But ultimately to lose significant weight over a sustainable amount of time, it involves calories deficit. You can take several approaches to that: low carb, fish/lean meat only, intermittent fasting.. But the bottom line is that you will lose weight only when you are consuming less than you need. I personally counted every gram of food for a certain period and entered it into MyFitnessPal. I couldn’t believe how small the portions needed to be.

The final myth is about your body’s needs. If you’re tall and well built - male or female - you need more calories than your 5’0” friend. Eating the same portions as your six foot boyfriend isn’t going to work if you’re a foot shorter so his mother’s annoying habit of giving him more potatoes is based in some fact.

Lastly it takes months to lose weight. If you’re sticking to calorie counting and some light exercise, a stone in two months is doable. So expect it to take time!! After all it took years to go on.

I use someone on Youtube called Pahla B - 20 minutes, sometimes she does weights, sometimes cardio, never gets on the floor, talks all the time, but very cheerily positive and American.

Foot stamping and refusing to count calories is daft. You need a calorie deficit to lose weight. It is that simple. Treat exercise as something you do for health.

@Gwenhwyfar I'm 5'2" and these days eat bigger portions than my boyfriend.

Years ago i would be the kind of person who cut a pastry in half, or ordered a starter for a main or off the children's menu, or portioned my evening meal into a cereal bowl. That to me was the difference between eating 1450 and 1800-2200 a day.
The former was technically sustainable but it was bloody depressing!

I dont think that just applies to someone 5'2, my OH cant manage pub portions these days, thats why he's happy for us to share a tapas or two and have nibbles.

Very helpful yes, not high intestity is what Im looking for!

Yes thyroid levels can be checked

Just a simple blood test
I'm on levothyroxine for under active thyroid function and weight wise I'm doing well

"One of the big difficulties with being say, 1200 or even 1400 is that it just isn't how most people eat - so the barriers to sustaining it increase. Eg portion sizes for eating on the go/eating out don't really work,"

Diet or not, if you're 5'2" you're going to have this problem with portions, particularly since portions are too big even for the average person these days.

Depends how high intensity you want. I’m lazy and this is really gentle:

Much harder work - followers of Chloe Ting have great results:

Are there any recommendations for any youtube programmes, Im getting a bit overwhelemd looking through it.

Basically I would want no more than 20 mins of standing exercises (no floor stuff) that I can do in the front room (not that big) before work. A series of 5 that I can do each week for example

Lots of them are too long, too much yapping before getting started, or they're on the floor or they involve having a chair in the room (no room for this)

I do, for some reason, have some dumbells, I think they are 1kg and 2kg

@CettePersonne I was very weak at strength training when I started - I don't have a natural frame for it, and I was very skinny. I started off with the lightest weights and had to work up to using a barbell (a standard barbell is 20kg) Incremental progress over time, and eating enough that I could build some muscle, and I'm stronger than I ever was in my twenties. I can do things like push ups and pull ups which feel cool, but what I notice more is being able to carry heavy shopping or move furniture or do heavy gardening. And hopefully I'll have reduced my risk of falls and osteoporosis as I get older - something that I've seen a lot of in my family, which I think is mainly due to people being skinny but frail (eg due to smoking)

I'd recommend anyone to give it a try. In my experience a lot of women find they prefer it because unless you're doing something like circuits (which is more for cardio/endurance benefits) strength training tends to be at a slower pace so you're not getting out of breath and sweaty. It's not that you aren't working hard, it's just a different type of work. I also found my progress in cardio based exercise very slow whereas with weights I saw the numbers go up relatively quickly initially and there's something very concrete about being able to lift something above your head that you couldn't lift the week before.

Look for Jessica Smith exercise videos. Especially standing abs/bum ones. Lots of free ones on YouTube. Made a lot of difference to how I look, not necessarily to my weight.

A friend of mine really aggravated her gall stones/bladder by fasting, set off an incredible attack