I'm fat, and look as though I should be, but I'm not.

preparing myself for a torrent of abuse

have you heard of Wegovy, the private prescription? If you used it for 2 months you’d get back to your ideal weight then would just have to maintain it rather than trying to lose more.

Sorry meant to add, I can’t do fasting (I have a health issue that prevents it) and I’m never hungry on WW. If I’m hungry, I eat a healthy snack.

I can empathise with a lot of what you’ve said OP. The 2 things that have worked for me are weight watchers (I find the points easier than calories and also in the past, calorie counting became an unhealthy obsession for me and led to disordered eating) and a fitness tracker. The latter showed me just how many calories I “use” each day - including those for just staying alive and active calories. I knew I wasn’t very active but it was an eye opener! If I only “spend” 1400 calories a day then I don’t need to eat more than that. Hope this helps you and know that you’re definitely not alone.

I’ve made some swaps now - skimmed milk and zero fat yoghurt instead of full fat, no alcohol, very low calorie drinks, veggies as snacks, etc and am steadily losing weight. The most surprising thing is that my body fat % has gone from about 34 to 17 in 3 months.

Where do you get that calculation from?

That calucation would have me eating at maintenance calories and no weight loss would ensue.

I've not rtft so it may have been mentioned. Muscle sarcopenia happens as we age - due to being sedentary and not using our muscles enough. This means that you'll need fewer calories to maintain your weight/fat levels.

We need weight training as we age. Cardio raises cortisol levels that makes us hold on to fat So that won't work alone.

Also to calculate calories for weight loss multiply your body weight in lbs x10. This is the minimum you should be eating. At the moment, you may be eating too little when you are trying to "eat healthily", which makes you binge more when you're not.
If you want to lose fat without diet culture - look at Rebelfit.

With the caveat that I’ve only ever had half stone to lose - I don’t count calories but nonetheless try to eat under 1000 a day. I’ve worked it out over time, not on the basis of calorie counting, but from experience of what I need to eat to lose weight. I try to do 30 mins - 1 hour’s walk a day. I’m sure if I did weights etc if would help but I don’t like any of that stuff. I can ditch 4 pounds in a month when I need to. You do just have to get used to being hungry, there isn’t any way round that.

Pringles are the work of the devil.

I can really relate to your post OP. I'm also 5 foot 2, aged 41 and have gradually gained a stone over the last year. I'm really struggling to lose it. (I'm still at a healthy BMI but am really not happy with this gain and I definitely need to lose it.)

I eat healthily and track my calories but obviously I need to change something!

Whenever I enter my data into TDEE calculators, it comes up with me needing to eat less than 1000 calories to lose weight.

For those people who have started strength/weight training from being a beginner at this, do you have any top tips about where to start (both in terms of workouts and also diet/protein)? I need to workout at home (not able to get to a gym).

You are on the right track, just keep going! Weight watching is really important, not for good-looking, but for your heath, before the fat turning into heart disease, diabetes, high blood sugar, high blood pressure, fatty liver, etc. etc... I'm 50, my size was 8 and then went up to 10 after having children till now. My weight is kind of stable. Just do a lot of walking, eating heathy food. No pasta, potatoes, bread or rice for dinner.

hormones have a lot to answer for as we age. Reading through your thread though I’d increase your protein and start lifting some weights. Not only will increasing muscle give you a more efficient metabolism but it will help your bones as you age too. I’m 36 and definitely starting to feel it’s a little harder to maintain fat loss, especially atm training for a marathon as I’m forgoing strength training and always hungry

Peri menopause lurking around the corner likely. It messes everything up. I was size 8 or 10 until early 40s. Got to size 14 at 50 and weight kept creeping up. HRT and regular exercise turned things around for me. Back to size 10 now. Counting calories and macros helps to understand where the extra pounds come from. Learn about high caloric and fake healthy food. I.e. Supermarket granola is full of sugar and very high in calories. Fruit juices,etc . Just knowing what you are eating.

I'm also 5ft 2" and gained a stone during the pandemic. It was incredibly slow progress to lose it. I used a TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) calculator to give me my calories for each day. It takes into account age, height, weight, and activity level.

To maintain your weight, you're probably looking at about 1,600 calories a day. If you're looking to lose, then you consume fewer calories than that. The rule of thumb seems to be to cut 500 calories from your TDEE but I found that too low - there's less wiggle room when you're 5ft 2". I aimed for between 1,100 - 1,400 a day and it averaged at about 1,300 a day over a week. The 2,000 calories a day that's suggested for women would mean significant weight gain for me.

I also weighed daily and work off the averages to see progress. I resisted this for a while but it ultimately took the emotion out of it and it's just part of my morning routine now. My weight can fluctuate by about 2kg / 4lb during a week for all sorts of reasons. It's the averages over a week / month that I pay attention to.

Strength building excercise and some walking has helped me feel better and look more toned but it's separate to the weight loss.

Hi OP, I’m going to offer a slightly different approach: you could try being on the go all day rather than incorporating more exercise sessions into your week, as it already sounds like you’re doing a fair bit of swimming. Just keep on your feet moving all day long, no sitting down for long periods of time. Personally I’ve found this keeps me trim and requires a lot less effort and time that going to the gym, etc. If you’ve noticed you’re more sedentary but are eating more carefully than before you’re probably just generally less active now. You’ll feel knackered but less hungry. Good luck!

@sunshinestar1986 that's great that it works for you, but it's very individual. Some people do really well on low carb, some people don't. Low carb for me triggers headaches and hormones issues.
There's no one magic solution that fits everyone - would be wonderful if there was!

Low carb diets do wonders for getting rid of belly fat
It's proven to be very healthy
When I was pregnant I gained no weight at all
I was told to gain no more than 5 kilos because I was very overweight
I followed a low carb diet
And gained no weight and continued to lose weight after I gave birth
I breastfed for a year
And went from 90 kilos to 70 from the start of my pregnancy to a year after of breastfeeding, (most came off after giving birth, and I was 90 kilos since my first pregnancy when I actually gained 30 kilos and never lost the weight?.

I occasionally treat myself to whatever I want
But my god if only I knew how effective it was before
Now all I have left is 10 kilos to lose
And I haven't even started exercising yet!
I'm now 14 months post partum and feel better than I have in years
And am only a couple of years of 40 so go for it
It's all the sugar and white carbs that's the problem

Weight gain is accumulative. If you’re drinking eg a bottle of wine a week you need to factor that into your calorie intake.
The only way to lose weight is to have a calorie deficit. Have a blow out but adjust your calories the next day. Yes, it’s harder when older but do it now because it will
only get worse and even tougher.

I think sometimes people exaggerate the effect of metabolism changes in your 30s and 40s. I was a bit defeatist about it and was sure it was because I hit 35 .

It’s only one example, but my half-sister who is 20 years older than me (i.e. well over 40) lost 2 or 3 stone ten years ago and has kept it off by changing her diet, emphasis on protein and veg, very little bread and pasta, refined sugar only as a special treat. She eats enough food, isn’t hungry, and doesn’t do high intensity workouts (more things like half hour walks and yoga). So I also wonder about the metabolism thing. I do think that when you start a healthier diet, you have to hang on for the first couple of weeks when you will feel hunger pangs and may get horrible headaches from sugar withdrawal etc, as your body is used to so much more food. Once your body has had a chance to recalibrate they should go away.

I’m exactly the same and have completely changed my diet - focus on protein and fat and some carbs but I’m really conscious about spiking my insulin levels and keeping hormones in check. Low-fat stuff is really bad for women our age as we need to be focusing on hormones.

I’ve also found that will powders MCT really helps with sugar cravings. I have a coffee with MCT and collagen in the morning

Back in my 30s I could eat anything and didn’t put on weight. Also up your strength training. I’ve not a clue about my weight but back down to a size 10 and am toned and strong

@CettePersonne the glucose goddess has some good tips. It's not necessarily losing weight but she explains our glucose spikes which may help with understanding food intake.
I do completely understand how you feel and it's bloody rubbish 🫤

You ARE overweight, and you care that you are. You recognise the need to do something at your young age before it gets worse - so WELL DONE!

Not by much though, but sadly, at 5'2" every pound shows BUT in some ways that is good, because you don't get "you can carry it", until you hit obese. If you are maintaining, you are doing well, so a few tweaks should do it.
Your body is you, and you are focussing on toned images for comparison, just look around you and see just how many people are MUCH much bigger.
Random thoughts:

1. Try carrying something that weighs about 5lbs around in a backpack for an hour or 2 and see just what this does to your breathing and heart rate - it's an eye opening incentive
2. Can you afford to buy bigger jeans, so you do not bulge? You will feel better while you do something
3. Lowering carbs takes your energy away - stick to potatoes (YES, really) and pasta, drop the bread - it works. Plan meals ahead, so when you are ready to eat, you are not grabbing the nearest. Well done for dropping the snacking (that is my failing) Sorry, but toast for breakfast is bad - egg, porridge at a push. You could get your GP to refer you for Slimming World. Strangely, I found that fruit was my nemesis.
4. Get a full medical check to eliminate anything that might cause - but it could just be peri-menopause. A little weight gain for that is good, gives you a strong base for the real thing. There is a pre-diabetes online course that is very helpful.
5. Wine varies in calories https://www.calories.info/food/wine you might be able to switch
6. You do not mention your coffee - check your milk intake - a dangerous hidden extra. And fruit juice.
7. You mention exercise - every little helps - everywhere you walk do it faster, never flip over when adverts are on but get up and dance around for the 3 minutes, stretch and do a couple of sit-ups before getting out of bed, brush your teeth dancing to music. You may find as the weather gets better you will do more gardening or walking.

This sounds like my situation. I keep thinking soon I will get time to eat better, exercise more, but am always too tired and ill with 2 toddlers, and work/life is always a juggle. And wine and cake get me through the day. But I get a little heavier every year so something needs to change ASAP.

Wait until you are over 50 and in menopause. Weight loss is way harder then 😒

Calorie deficit calorie deficit calorie deficit

every other ‘tip’ on this thread is irrelevant if you’re not in a calorie deficit. And for all it’s maligned by the weight loss industry desperate to sell you the next miracle weight loss fad, tracking everything you eat & weighing your portions etc. really matters in terms of setting you up with a long term understanding of what healthy eating actually looks like.

You need to cut out bread especially white bread, opt for wraps instead , Aldi do protein wraps and they are not expensive for 6! Also try foods that fill you up for longer , for breakfast try porridge and a banana instead.
Im 45 and I weigh between 8stone 7/9 and have been this weight for some time, I have wobbly bits and my stomach bloats with certain vegetables and if I eat too many carbs eg pasta , white bread so I have to be careful as I look like I’m pregnant 😩 drink plenty of water throughout the day as this helps to keep you hydrated and also makes u feel fuller till next meal. I eat what I like including crisps biscuits and cake but I don’t drink any alcohol, I don’t workout but walk everywhere. Try not eating after 8pm and not snacking as this can have a huge impact on gaining weight.

I would definitely keep a diary of what you eat every day, don’t weigh yourself each week as this will have a mental impact but I would do it each month instead. You definitely need to cut wine out of your diet or go for low calorie like gin and tonic.
good luck and hope you manage to get to your ideal weight soon❤️