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AIBU?

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Original poster

I'm fat, and look as though I should be, but I'm not.

262 replies

CettePersonne · 01/04/2024 20:09

I am definitely being unreasonable.

I was always naturally slim. Around 8st at 5'2ish. Not skinny, I always had a pretty generous arse but on a small frame. I've always loved food - not lots of junk, pretty healthy really but just "normally" not obsessively so - just whatever I fancied without thinking.

Two dcs, multiple mcs, and a lockdown discovery of wine and pringles down and I'm very definitely not slim now. I lost the weight slowly after dc1, but after the mcs and then dc2 (now 5) it was a different story...

I've been exercising properly 3-4 times a week this year and have long since knocked the evening junk snacking on the head and reduced the wine. But the weight is stuck hard now. I'm 40. My belly is outrageous and the arms and arse are following suit. I don't often weigh myself because I never got in the habit because I didn't care, but I'm now 10.5ish st. I think that makes me overweight, but more to the point it looks and feels like it does.

I don't care about the numbers on the scales or on my labels, bigger is fine I see lots of lovely toned looking size 14+ women, I really just want to not wibble and to be able to wear jeans without looking like Humpty Dumpty trying on a wig 😩 My jeans are uncomfortable, nothing fits properly.

So, I've decided to deal with this by throwing a massive strop..! <STOMPS foot and Fucking Swears!!> I am not calorie counting but I have consciously stopped snacking and kept an eye on portions and tried to make healthy choices, and I've really upped my activity. Yet I think I'm still getting bigger... It's really not fair 😩 I already ignore the hunger pangs after the gym, do I really have to cut down to restrictive portions just to stop gaining more weight? I see fit looking women older than me, surely it's not just my age? Has my natural advantage just fucking turned itself off now!? Does everyone over 35 and under 10st actually feel starving all the time!? (N.B. I know I'm being ridiculous.)

Feel free to tell me how unreasonable I'm being I obvs I need to hear it..! But solidarity is welcome too! What is this actually gonna take...?

OP posts:
VanCleefArpels · 01/04/2024 20:36

What sort of exercise? Are you in calorie deficit? Using Nutracheck in conjunction with my Fitbit keeps me accountable. But as PP say, after 40 this becomes a bit of a slog I’m afraid.

HurryupHenry · 01/04/2024 20:36

Another who had to check that I hadn’t written this!
I’m with you! I started fast 800 today. I don’t like it even if it’s considered to be with in a healthy range. This isn’t my body.

Mintearo7 · 01/04/2024 20:34

yes your advantage has gone but it’s not and excuse to reside yourself to a life of being overweight, there are plenty of strategies -
high protein, resistance training, cutting down on drink, which mean slim women over 40 aren’t constantly starving. You’ve probably just never had to educate yourself properly before but you now have to.

Saschka · 01/04/2024 20:32

Blackcats7 · 01/04/2024 20:24

Nobody is really fat at 10 stone something. Overweight by bmi charts yes but so what. Do whatever you want to do.
Is it National Fat Shaming Day today and I didn’t get the memo? Reading this just after a nasty thread about weight so my tolerance is gone I’m afraid.

I can assure you that, if you are short and have a small frame, you really can be fat at 10st something. I’m literally obese at that weight.

Sagittarius · 01/04/2024 20:31

Also check out Caroline Girvan on YouTube, her workouts are hard but they get results ! 💪

Pennyandolive · 01/04/2024 20:31

40 and in exactly the same boat! I just don’t know what to do because when I start to lose weight, I’m eating so little that I’m so so hungry all the time and I’m not giving myself enough fuel for the exercise I do and then I feel exhausted. And I’ve still got fat cells multiplying and wobbling around my bum, thighs and tummy. It’s seriously getting me down.

Original poster
CettePersonne · 01/04/2024 20:27

I'm really sorry, @Blackcats7 , I didn't intend to be fat shaming at all, more self depreciating and interested to see people's opinions on if there is an particular difference in what I'm doing or just my age to account for the weight change. I saw that thread, it was nasty I agree. x

OP posts:
Sagittarius · 01/04/2024 20:27

I'm mid 30s, I can no longer eat like I used to without putting on weight. I think it happens to the best of us. Are you still drinking wine, I believe a large glass of wine is the equivalent of eating a peice of cake , so you could ge easily consuming lots of liquid calories with no benefit.

Don't get fixated on your weight, look at your body measurements rather than actual weight. For example, I've lost 16 inches off my body measurements since January and dropped a dress size, almost 2 but I've not lost any actual weight on the scales. Let me tell you, its been hard to shift the fat, a few years ago I would have lost this weight in few weeks based on my current diet.

Don't give up hope. Take photos of your body and body measurements now and repeat at the start of every month. If you eating well and doing lots of exercise , then I bet you will start to see physical changes if you keep at it and that will keep you motivated.

midlifepisces · 01/04/2024 20:27

I had to check I didn't write this post myself OP. In the same boat 100% and I also don't understand - is everyone hungry constantly? I don't want to live that life!

Original poster
CettePersonne · 01/04/2024 20:24

Oh no @RawBloomers ..! The writing was on the wall for me from 35, but there were excuses, BUT at 40 it feels like that writing on the wall is now carved in stone..😩

OP posts:
Blackcats7 · 01/04/2024 20:24

Nobody is really fat at 10 stone something. Overweight by bmi charts yes but so what. Do whatever you want to do.
Is it National Fat Shaming Day today and I didn’t get the memo? Reading this just after a nasty thread about weight so my tolerance is gone I’m afraid.

RawBloomers · 01/04/2024 20:17

Im afraid YANBU. Turning 40 was like a trigger on my metabolism and it sucks. It’s probably not true for all women, but I think it’s true for an awful lot.

I will stomp my foot with you (we need an MN emoticon for that).

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