Holiday booked don’t want to go

You're supposed to avoid driving until after your post-natal check after a c-section, which usually happens at 6 weeks, so you may not be ready to drive anyway

You shouldn't go. If your inlaw's eyesight is too bad to drive you should be reporting it. Your DH needs to learn how to manage his children.

This trip sounds soooooooo stressful. No no no!!! Speak up OP! We can give you moral support.

I'm completely mystified by many of the responses here.

A week away in a caravan, 6 weeks post c section, with newborn, toddler and preschooler, with extremely elderly, sight impaired inlaws...?

Husband giving you grief about it being the Last Ever Time with his parents? What?

What.The.Fuck. NO.

If his parents are well enough to go on holiday, it seems really unlikely they're about to drop dead.

Perhaps they would like to stay nearby and drop in over a week, spend some time with you?

My only question is why you are having the slightest difficulty saying 'ooh sorry, not this time haha!'

A caravan holiday with 4 adults and three small children? Nope, nope, nope.

6 weeks post C section and you are expected to do all of the driving? Nope, nope, nope.

Cancel.

In most (quite luxurious) static caravans I’ve stayed in you’d really struggle to fit a Moses basket in the main bedroom and it would be impossible to fit one in either of the other two twin bedrooms. Have your in-laws offered you the main bedroom?

a holiday in ONE caravan, with FOUR adults, a 3-year old, a 1-year old, and a newborn baby? i would absolutely not be doing this, it sounds like hell for everyone involved

edit: also, your husband suggesting going with the 3-year old, and therefore leaving you home with a just turned 1-year old, and a newborn little baby seems like a bad idea :( especially with your ppd :/

Wait… you’re expected to do all that driving a few weeks after a section with your 3rd child under 4… erm. Nope.

he can go see his parents another time. He can get the train to them.

the holiday plans are no longer suitable for your whole family unit. Many apologies. Cancel now and lose less money all round.

Id expect my partner to be there for me at home.

What are you on about? It's the health visitors job to give advice on stuff like that?

It does sound like too much 6 weeks after c section and with 3 tiny kids. But you should say so asap, so they can look into rescheduling for a more suitable time if possible, and not have it be wasted. Presumably the in-laws are only doing this trip to see you all.
if it can’t be rescheduled, I’d let DH take the eldest for a bit. He really should be able to be trusted with their safety, and it sounds like it would do the 3yo some good to have some 1:1 bonding time with dad and get used to having him put her to bed/settle her.

Don't go. Period.

HV shouldn't be talking about SIDS. You're stressed enough.
What is wrong with these people?

I'd not want to go either op. If it's the only other option, I'd still prefer to be at home with all the kids and let him go alone. Surely ILs wouldn't want to share a cramped space with a newborn either?! It sounds like a recipe for a very stressful time.

It is more inconsiderate of the OP to decide just a few months before (when the cost of accommodation might be lost) that she doesn’t want to go!

She wasn’t pregnant when it was booked and I’m assuming the in-laws paid for it and perhaps couldn’t afford two caravans but wanted to spend some time with their son and his family. You can fit 6 adults in most caravans so 4 adults and two toddlers was fine.

I don’t get why you didn’t figure out 8 months ago that it would be too close to the birth OP and tell the in-laws to rearrange then. It’s unlikely they’ll be able to now!

TBH, I’d go with a 3rd DC. It’s only 2 hours away. Stop after an hour for a toilet break to walk around in case uncomfortable after c section. Spend the time relaxing feeding in room interspersed with a few walks a day and sitting on the deck. Let DH and PIL take the older ones off and deal with their needs, bring you meals etc and you’ll be on hand to ensure older DC are safe and you have a car if needed.

Could you book a separate caravan
leave them too it and have your own space

Don’t go. It isn’t worth the anxiety. Let your husband go and spend time with his parents. All of you in a caravan would be stressful for everyone. I understand about the SIDS . You need to do whatever it takes to feel reassured. Breastfeeding helps prevent it and so do dummies apparently.

@hdhdgueidvxkdk why the hell would anyone book only one caravan for two families??? certainly I wouldnt be sharing a caravan with my in laws if there were still alive!!

Just to say that if you buy a second hand Moses basket (or get one for free off a buy nothing group like I did) then you can get a new mattress for about 12 quid from Amazon.

Definitely don't go. Six weeks post partum after a c section and two toddlers is way too much! Just being in your own environment at that stage in the game would feel hard work to me.

I wouldn't want to go either. It's completely reasonable for you to pull out. Rescheduling would be the best plan.

I'm torn between your husband staying so he can help you, or going with the older ones so you can have some peace. But if he goes without you, he definitely needs to take both the older kids.

It's fair enough that you don't want to go, but stopping your husband from taking your eldest child from spending time with his family is not on. 3yrs old isn't tiny, and it's a good time for dad to spend some quality time with them.

Are you expected to drive to this holiday aswell
It would be a no from me

Your dh sounds childish and selfish and thoughtless. You are going to have THREE tiny children - he is expecting you to drive him on holiday and handle all the kid stuff because after three years he’s still not competent to take your two eldest out?

im sorry OP but he IS useless.

Guilt-tripping you into going is bang out of order.

This op. And all of you in a caravan too sounds like utter hell. It's not even a comfortable, hotel or relaxing kind of accommodation. To bring a baby on that is just madness. Your IL must be very inconsiderate people if they think they could ask this of you.

you should've cancelled before now. you knew the dates and that you would be 6 weeks pp. quite honestly i wouldn't want my other half going either when we have a new baby.