Holiday booked don’t want to go

Can you see about shifting the whole thing to September?

Don't go. By agreeing to such a holiday you are condoning an almost blind person driving.

If you care about the safety of anyone, make sure the DVLA or even if they will act the local police are aware. It is not easy to accept being no longer able to drive, but is better than someone being six foot under as a result.

Your other reasons are enough, but this is even more important.

Sorry, I missed that you'd mentioned ppa/ppd previously.

Then 100%, as I said, I'd be making it very clear to your other half what a risk this would be even if you were inclined to go along with it.

The OP is already being treated for anxiety and said she has had postpartum depression with both her prior children.

I’ve had ppa and ppd with both previous pregnancies

Then why in God's name didn't you cancel this horrid trip as soon as you knew you were having DC3?

A lot of the problems and issues you list would have become apparent once you realised you were pregnant again, so you could have cancelled after your 12 week scan?

You need to stand up for yourself here. If you become so poorly in your postpartum period then you simply cannot go away, end of.

Were you sharing the caravn with your inlaws @Layla30?

The conversation hasn't been totally blocked. He said he'd go with the 3yo. My DH took my 3yo away when I had DC3 and I had some time with the 1yo and newborn. I didn't want the time away from DC1 either, but she got really close to her dad and I had some lovely time with the other two.

He'll have a pushchair, I presume? Travelling with one is no problem. Your 3yo will get to be special, focus of attention. And your DH gets to spend time with his parents. I really think this is the best solution.

We have had holidays booked then fallen pregnant with both of mine with one being 4 weeks old when we went away (chalet for new year with friends) and the other being 6 weeks (caravan).
The packing for it seemed to be never ending and stressful but once we got there we loved both holidays and having help from others with the babies was so good.
Try and see it as a chance to get away and just focus on the children without doing housework or thinking about bills etc.
We have the best memories of those holidays I hope you can too!

I don’t think many women would feel happy being 6 weeks post surgery in a caravan trying to cluster feed around people they’ve met a handful of times, regardless of whether they’re ‘family’ or not

I agree.
"Husband, this holiday is NOT happening"

So when this was booked, you just had the 2 children but by the time you go in a few weeks, you'll have 3 under 4 years old? Including a brand new baby?

I'd say that circumstances have changed and what was reasonable at the time just won't be anymore. Can you reschedule? Can he take the 2 oldest while you stay at home with baby and have a family member or friend or something come over to help out? What's a newborn going to be getting out of this?!

I'm sorry but the entire situation is a bit of a mess!

Three small children like steps of stairs, a husband who won't drive, piles on the guilt about your ILs and can't manage the two children you already have, plus your anxiety, and a holiday that was always ridiculous because you were sharing a single caravan with your ILs!

Put your foot down right now. Let your DH go on his own. He's not a lot of use to you anyway. You need to nip that in the bud too. Get him to start taking more responsibility for your children right now, before the baby is born. He also needs to take refresher lessons and get back driving again. I'd not have tolerated that for this long! How are you going to get anywhere for the 6 weeks you can't drive??

Also you can't possibly do a long drive the first opportunity to drive after a c/s - are you mad?! Your DH is being a massive arsehole to even expect it!!

Also you can't afford £40 for a Moses basket, and you're having a 3rd child?

I think you need to have a 'deep and meaningful' with your H. I didn't use 'D' because tbh he is not coming across well here no matter how you defend him.

At this point, whether you mean to be or not, you're being controlling. You are 100% able to say you don't want to go, and that the baby can't go.. but your husband thinks this might be his last holiday with his parents and you're putting barriers in the way preventing him taking the two oldest kids on a holiday with their dad and grandparents. If he thinks he can drive, or get public transport then it's unfair of you to say your anxiety means he isn't allowed to do it.

Do you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, OP? You've mentioned "anxiety" several times in the thread.

If so, I'd be clear about the issues that may also cause if you're put in a very difficult/uncomfortable situation so soon PP.

He’s not trying to be the boss of me but if the option is him tackling buses and train with 2 young children that’s really not going to help my anxiety either

He needs to step up and get some refresher lessons behind the wheel then. I would be anxious in your shoes as well.

It is enough to say in the cold light of day with a 3-year-old a 1-year-old and a tiny baby in a caravan you have reflected and don't think it would be relaxing for anyone let alone you a newly post-partum mother. My babies were waking every two hours for feeds at that point. Tell your DH it is not happening. Take care with the rest of your pregnancy.

He could book refresher driving lessons if he’s nervous about driving, or he could get the train. Those are decisions for him to make, as you’ve made your decision. He doesn’t get to be the boss of you.

Just tell him you've thought it over and that you and the new baby are definitely not going on this holiday. He can decide what to do about himself and the 3 year old, you’re not preventing them going. It doesn’t need to be a row, you just need to stand your ground.

@hdhdgueidvxkdk I assume your DH has a driving licence but has been scared off driving due to the accident?

In that case I think he has no right to minimise your concerns.
He doesn't sound like a safe driver, and potentially you won't be insured to drive.

I assume the imminent baby was a happy surprise. After all no-one in their right mind would book a caravan holiday with 4 adults, two babies and a toddler. It has stress and frayed tempers written all over it.

If he is so desperate to see his parents why can't he visit them on his own over a long weekend?

This holiday needs to be postponed or cancelled.

I agree with @Concannon88

@hdhdgueidvxkdk this is neither practical or suitable in your situation. Husband is being selfish as fuck and needs to put your feelings first.