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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it won’t be hard to conceive?

133 replies

Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 16:52

Baby #3?

but I’m approaching that age where fertility starts it’s decline but I do have a high AMH.

our first were 7 months and first month so would it stand to reason that #3 would be the same?

my age worries me a bit but I spoke to my GP and they were quite dismissive of any concerns, and said if I’ve conceived 2 naturally there’s no reason to think a third would be challenging

OP posts:
Original poster
Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 20:28

TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 20:23

I actually defended your GP appointment, your answers have still been deliberately obtuse to the things I mentioned though. I stand by what I said about enjoying winding posters up and being obtuse. Glad you feel like you’ve got something useful out of your thread though.

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I’m not that unkind.

its just what I meant, I’ve heard 35 being ‘the age’ and ‘have a baby’ to me implied it all. But that’s to me, maybe I’m assuming all think like I do.

OP posts:
Gingernurt88 · 01/04/2024 20:27

You honestly just don't know

Took me five years to conceive DD and had two losses on that journey (age 26-30). Then tried for #2 (aged 32) thinking it could be as long and caught on second cycle.

Whereas I know friends who conceived quickly for their first and have struggled with subsequent children.

Everybody is unique and many factors influence

TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 20:23

Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 20:18

didnt say you had to guess, I just didn’t want to talk about the surgery, just wanted to keep it high level.

ive read every helpful comment that’s actually answered the question rather than pick holes in my GP appointment.

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I actually defended your GP appointment, your answers have still been deliberately obtuse to the things I mentioned though. I stand by what I said about enjoying winding posters up and being obtuse. Glad you feel like you’ve got something useful out of your thread though.

Original poster
Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 20:18

TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 20:15

Yes you are being silly. Like people would come on your goady thread in AIBU and guess your age from your vague declining fertility statement and guess that you’d not gone to the GP specifically ask ask about TTC, and then also guess you’d had an operation on your cervix. Clearly we’re all stupid and you’ve been perfectly clear. You’ve actually ignored many of the genuine answers and kept answering the poster who’s obsessed with asking you what you want the GP to say. All your posts have been about fertility declining with age but now suddenly it’s obviously also about carrying a baby after a cervix operation. Not sure how we didn’t guess.

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didnt say you had to guess, I just didn’t want to talk about the surgery, just wanted to keep it high level.

ive read every helpful comment that’s actually answered the question rather than pick holes in my GP appointment.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 20:15

Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 20:09

ok, this is getting a little silly, I did say to the GP we think we want another baby, but here I’ve used conceiving but you’re right they aren synonyms but in my OP I meant conceive and have said baby

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Yes you are being silly. Like people would come on your goady thread in AIBU and guess your age from your vague declining fertility statement and guess that you’d not gone to the GP specifically ask ask about TTC, and then also guess you’d had an operation on your cervix. Clearly we’re all stupid and you’ve been perfectly clear. You’ve actually ignored many of the genuine answers and kept answering the poster who’s obsessed with asking you what you want the GP to say. All your posts have been about fertility declining with age but now suddenly it’s obviously also about carrying a baby after a cervix operation. Not sure how we didn’t guess.

mumpenalty · 01/04/2024 20:10

over 40 is what they consider an older mum these days. I conceived a DC easily at 40 despite earlier fertility issues. Good luck, although what I would say is that it would be better prep to consider all the things you have now to be grateful for if it doesn’t happen than worrying about the reasons why it won’t!

Original poster
Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 20:09

TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 20:06

And no actually, you said ‘to conceive’. So yes, guess you are enjoying the wind up. You and that poster suit eachother!

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ok, this is getting a little silly, I did say to the GP we think we want another baby, but here I’ve used conceiving but you’re right they aren synonyms but in my OP I meant conceive and have said baby

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 20:06

Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 20:01

I said to ‘have another baby’ in which carrying the baby is implied I thought

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And no actually, you said ‘to conceive’. So yes, guess you are enjoying the wind up. You and that poster suit eachother!

TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 20:05

Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 20:01

I said to ‘have another baby’ in which carrying the baby is implied I thought

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You aren’t helping with your deliberately obtuse answers OP. Unless you are just enjoying winding people up.

TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 20:03

Notmyuser · 01/04/2024 19:56

Where has she answered it? She hasn’t.

I don’t think the GP fobbed her off, the GP answered her question honestly. However, op felt like she had been fobbed off. Op can get any of this information from google. As someone who has had fertility issues, I think OP is ridiculous.

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Yeah we get it, you don’t like the OP, you’ve made this very clear plenty of times. You said ‘no wonder the GP fobbed you off’ which does suggest you thought the GP fobbed her off because she asked at an appointment for something else - because that’s what you said.

Original poster
Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 20:01

Notmyuser · 01/04/2024 20:00

Your cervix doesn’t affect your ability to conceive though? Had you asked if it would affect your ability to carry to term you might have got a different answer.

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I said to ‘have another baby’ in which carrying the baby is implied I thought

OP posts:
Original poster
Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 20:01

Notmyuser · 01/04/2024 19:56

Where has she answered it? She hasn’t.

I don’t think the GP fobbed her off, the GP answered her question honestly. However, op felt like she had been fobbed off. Op can get any of this information from google. As someone who has had fertility issues, I think OP is ridiculous.

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No, I said I thought the GP was a bit dismissive with the you’ve had kids before you’ll be grand especially when you hear 35 is advanced maternal age often

OP posts:
Notmyuser · 01/04/2024 20:00

Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 19:58

The way the GP answered was a bit dismissive, perhaps she couldn’t understand why I was worried (I’d had that procedure to remove pre cancerous cervix cells and had continuous spotting after, so pre cancer Is quite worrisome for me at least) but there’s a difference a bit dismissive and being fobbed off

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Your cervix doesn’t affect your ability to conceive though? Had you asked if it would affect your ability to carry to term you might have got a different answer.

GettingStuffed · 01/04/2024 19:58

My cousin had 2 and a much wanted number 3 never arrived.

karma3 · 01/04/2024 19:58

I didn't think it would be hard. Started trying when I was 26 and dh 39 (he has 2 dc already) We're now a year and a half down the line with no baby and having had 4 miscarriages. Never thought this would be our story...

Original poster
Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 19:58

Notmyuser · 01/04/2024 19:49

And she said it was straightforward, yet apparently that is “dismissive”.

So again, what kind or response did you want or expect?

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The way the GP answered was a bit dismissive, perhaps she couldn’t understand why I was worried (I’d had that procedure to remove pre cancerous cervix cells and had continuous spotting after, so pre cancer Is quite worrisome for me at least) but there’s a difference a bit dismissive and being fobbed off

OP posts:
Notmyuser · 01/04/2024 19:56

TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 19:51

You’ve asked this question atleast 4 times and she’s tried to answer it. What exactly is your issue? What response do YOU want? Particularly as you think the GPs response was fobbing her off anyway.

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Where has she answered it? She hasn’t.

I don’t think the GP fobbed her off, the GP answered her question honestly. However, op felt like she had been fobbed off. Op can get any of this information from google. As someone who has had fertility issues, I think OP is ridiculous.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 01/04/2024 19:56

I had my first 34, conceived 4th month of trying. Second at 37 after 14 months trying and two early miscarriages. If you want another baby I'd get on with it. There are no guarantees, especially as you get older. It it really is very depressing when it doesn't happen easily. I didn't have a difficult time compared to a lot of people, but it did cast a shadow over everything for a while.

Greengagesnfennel · 01/04/2024 19:55

If you are 35 and know you will want a third then I think you need to start now. Hope of tests to give you (potentially false) confidence to wait is misplaced thinking. It may seem inconvenient to have a baby now workwise, but it will probably be inconvenient for work later too. Just do it if you want it. Work will sort itself out and you won't have anything like the regret that you would get missing out on a third child you wanted.

TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 19:51

Notmyuser · 01/04/2024 19:49

And she said it was straightforward, yet apparently that is “dismissive”.

So again, what kind or response did you want or expect?

Show quote history

You’ve asked this question atleast 4 times and she’s tried to answer it. What exactly is your issue? What response do YOU want? Particularly as you think the GPs response was fobbing her off anyway.

Notmyuser · 01/04/2024 19:49

Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 19:48

nothing especially I just wasn’t sure if it would be that straight forward given age and the fact I just had a procedure on my cervix (the underlying reasons for the procedure etc), hence my question here

Show quote history

And she said it was straightforward, yet apparently that is “dismissive”.

So again, what kind or response did you want or expect?

HippeePrincess · 01/04/2024 19:49

I had my first at 23/24 conceived 4th month off the pill however I didn’t actually ovulate or have a period for the first 3 if those months. 2nd pregnancy at 26 was accidental, ended in miscarriage, conceived first cycle after that.
Third I was 35, conceived first cycle just two weeks after stopping my contraceptive ring, we were stressed to be waiting but weren’t very careful at in thought it would take months/a year at my age.
I’m now super conscious of good contraception as I do not want anymore.

Original poster
Wedonttalkaboutprunesno · 01/04/2024 19:48

Notmyuser · 01/04/2024 19:44

Doesn’t the fact that you were being asked about contraception kind of show that you are expected to be able to conceive? Again, what did you actually want the GP to do or say?

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nothing especially I just wasn’t sure if it would be that straight forward given age and the fact I just had a procedure on my cervix (the underlying reasons for the procedure etc), hence my question here

OP posts:
Notmyuser · 01/04/2024 19:48

TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 19:44

Maybe she’s still here because according to you the GP ‘fobbed her off’? Who knows.

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It’s not according to me, she claimed the GP was “dismissive” its right there in the OP.

My question is what did she actually expect the GP to say or do, given that she hadn’t even confirmed she was going to ttc, nevermind actually starting and trying for a reasonable length of time?

TeaKitten · 01/04/2024 19:47

StarlightLime · 01/04/2024 19:46

Wasn't it? Op said she went to the gp for "another reason", with an unrelated query.

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She also said it was in the same vicinity, so it was related to why she was there.