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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to get lost?

459 replies

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:34

Just got home to find a note from my neighbour.

"Hi Sporty, just wanted to let you know that we're rehoming a couple of cats in the next week or two. I can see from our upstairs windows that you have some plants in your garden that are poisonous to cats so I will pop round in the next day or so and point them out so you can remove them in good time for our new arrivals"

I've just done a quick Google and it looks like she is referring to a rhododendron that was a gift from a friend who has now passed away and an azaelia that was a 50th birthday gift. Both are established shrubs and mean a lot to me.

AIBU to tell her my garden will be staying as it is?

OP posts:
Toooldforthis36 · 01/04/2024 19:09

Bluevelvetsofa · 01/04/2024 16:41

Dear neighbour

Thanks for the heads up about the cats. I hope you have time to secure your house and garden, so that your new arrivals are able to stay within your garden and will be at no risk from any plants that are not good for them.

Thanks so much.

This is 👍👍

Sauvblanctime · 01/04/2024 19:08

Wow. She sounds insane 🤣

HappiestSleeping · 01/04/2024 19:08

BabySnarkDoDoo · 01/04/2024 19:04

What a massive curtain twitcher to be nosing in your garden like that in the first place! I'd invest in a super soaker and let her know you'll be training the cats to keep out of your garden, so it won't be a problem.

Might be a good idea to use it on the neighbour too, just in case she comes over with additional batshit suggestions 🤣

BabySnarkDoDoo · 01/04/2024 19:04

What a massive curtain twitcher to be nosing in your garden like that in the first place! I'd invest in a super soaker and let her know you'll be training the cats to keep out of your garden, so it won't be a problem.

Bluetrews25 · 01/04/2024 19:04

HurryupHenry · 01/04/2024 19:02

She sounds like she’s a mumsnetter😂

She sounds like she's a nutter!

Is she only going to her immediate neighbours? Are her cats only going to go to immediate neighbours? Of course not!!

Travis1 · 01/04/2024 19:04

I’ve got two cats and plant rhododendrons every year 😬😂 and my boy is 14 this year and still going strong. Glad you told her to do one

MolkosTeenageAngst · 01/04/2024 19:04

Wow. It never fails to amaze me how bonkers some people are.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 01/04/2024 19:03

Cheeky Bitch!

HurryupHenry · 01/04/2024 19:02

She sounds like she’s a mumsnetter😂

MonsteraMama · 01/04/2024 18:59

Time to plant some more! What a nutter.

I have all those plants and six cats, none of them have ever come to harm. In fact under the rhododendron seems to be their favourite spot to have cat meetings.

coldcallerbaiter · 01/04/2024 18:59

Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 16:49

Oh heck I have delphiniums too.

She's probably got me down as a cat murderer. Honestly had no idea how much of my garden was risky to cats.

Show quote history

Many cats are a menace to birds and other wildlife…if she keeps her cat inside then less carnage…

Original poster
Sportycustard · 01/04/2024 18:57

To answer those asking about whether we have had any other batshit requests. No we haven't. We've lived here for 7 years and we've exchanged Christmas cards, taken in parcels for each other and exchanged hellos. I asked her once where she got her nice solar lights from I remember but nothing to indicate we're likely to change our garden to suit her. We're both in detached houses, slightly angled away from each other so we don't really see them much.

As she left my house I could see she was heading for another neighbour's house. She's obviously doing the rounds!

OP posts:
Shan5474 · 01/04/2024 18:57

For anyone who loves lilies, rose lilies are prettier (in my opinion) and don’t have pollen so unlikely to have an effect on cats. They can be pricey though

TTPD · 01/04/2024 18:56

Not only is she being very entitled, she's also just being thick. Cats can roam quite far - even if you agreed to get rid of the plants from your garden, it's not unlikely that there'll be other plants in other gardens that could be potentially dangerous. Does she think pet cats all over the country are constantly being harmed by dangerous plants in the surrounding area?

Mazuslongtoenail · 01/04/2024 18:55

Oh this is my favourite post of the day. I love a CF thread and this is right up there.

Shan5474 · 01/04/2024 18:55

The cheek of her! I’ve always had cats and I wouldn’t dream of this. Perhaps her next request will be for the neighbours to stop driving in case the cats run into the road.

I have several toxic house plants and garden plants, the fact is that most cats don’t just eat random plants. They’re mostly carnivores and the only plant they really want to eat is grass occasionally. My neighbours have lilies in pots which is a mild concern but my cats are unlikely to climb into random pots with the aim of rubbing against some flowers when there are bushes to hide in and mice to chase.

I assume your neighbour is an over zealous first time owner but her cat is her own problem

airforsharon · 01/04/2024 18:54

The issue with lillies is their very toxic pollen can get stuck on a cat's fur as it wanders past - cat licks fur, cat expires. Most cats are bright enough not to eat toxic plants, but lily pollen can be harder to avoid. I've had cats for decades and lillies are the only plants i won't have in the garden - never had problems with the shrubs your neighbour mentions.

Cats can wander for miles, and the biggest risks to them are traffic and their own inquisitiveness. Allowing your cat outside comes with accepting an element of risk, sad as the result of that can be sometimes be. I'm down to just one old codger now who stays in due to health issues and i must admit i'm relieved my days of pacing by the cat flap in the evening, waiting anxiously for them to come in for bed, are behind me 😄

Therealjudgejudy · 01/04/2024 18:54

She sounds unhinged!

TinySmol · 01/04/2024 18:54

Lol.
Tell her to jog on.

The plants might stop da moggies pissing and pooing in your garden too.

Nicebloomers · 01/04/2024 18:52

I’ve got cats, always had cats and I’ve NEVER chosen plants based on having cats. The neighbour is overstepping massively.

HappiestSleeping · 01/04/2024 18:52

TTPD · 01/04/2024 16:42

"Dear neighbour, I will assume this is an April fools."

This 👆

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 01/04/2024 18:51

Tell her that you will go into anaphylactic shock if you come within 100 yards of a cat so they will either need to move house or refuse to home the cats.

Meadowfinch · 01/04/2024 18:51

Yanbu.

You have a mad cat lady 🙄 Advise her politely of your preference for your plants over random moggies.

BobbyBiscuits · 01/04/2024 18:50

This seems weird. And surely she could just send a picture of the plants of which she speaks with links to how they're bad for cats? Even then, it's a bit much.
'I'll just pop round and then you'll remove them'?!
Very presumptuous.
I have cats and always have and would never ask neighbours to remove their plants.
Cats surely don't eat plants that are poisoned? She could buy a bigger fence if she's genuinely worried. My guess is she hadn't had cats before or for a long time.

LittleMissSleepyUK · 01/04/2024 18:50

Has she ever been this bonkers before?!