To tell her to get lost?

I have had two cats for the past 13 years. In my garden we have rhododendrons, azaleas, lavender, bulbs and lillies. Both cats are still alive.

I think you're being very reasonable and I can't see why she's so worked up she must see that the other cats visit and are ok.

Is that true? Obviously it's more hazardous but I've had 5 outdoor cats over my life and 3 lived to be 18ish and died of age related things, one died at 15 of cancer and 1 got run over aged 10. This was years ago though so maybe it's more dangerous now. But out of 5 i only lost 1 due to outside hazards.

This.

TBH - we've had cats for over 30 years, and a garden with two azaleas, and the cats don't bother with them.

They do, however, chew our houseplants, so I don't keep a dieffenbachia even though I like them a lot.

a). Your garden, your plants, your choice

b) In practical terms, uprooting an established rhododendron is a hell of a job!

Tell her you don't want her cats damaging your garden, and ask her to keep them out. This works both ways.

Tell her that, if she is foolish enough not to have indoor cats, hers are statistically unlikely to live very long due to....
....traffic; dogs; foxes; theft; poison (antifreeze and all kinds of other hazards not found in your garden!).

Honestly don't get the whole 'outdoor cats' thing.....

What is your neighbour going to do about all of the other gardens with poisonous plants in the area? Or does she anticipate that her cats will visit your garden only? Is she planning to go door to door to all the houses within roaming radius of her cats and order them to uproot their plants?
YANBU. She needs to keep the cats indoors if she is worried.

Maybe I would have been more inclined to have a conversation with this neighbour and come to some agreement had she not messaged in such a rude and dogmatic manner! Her cats, her problem!

Ha ha! This is perfect. Say this!

Amazing how society has evolved where someone thinks this is ok behaviour.

And someone being asked to dig up their beloved plants needs to post on the internet to affirm it's ok to say no.

I’ve had rhododendrons and a cat for many years now. The cat has never eaten one.

This! My moggies avoid our azalea and we've had Lillies regularly and also they avoid! They're not dumb they'll sort themselves out

It's surprising how much is toxic to pets. We had to get rid of a few bits when we got our dog as he did try to eat them 🤦‍♀️

"Neighbour, you do not need to come round as I will not be removing any plants. Try not to worry, cats instinctively will avoid things that are harmful. Good luck with your new pets"

I’ve had both of those plants in my garden for years, and a cat. She lived to be 18. Your neighbour sounds at best way too nosy and over enthusiastic about these new cats, and at worst quite frankly a bit mad and entitled to think she can dictate what’s in your garden!

anf I thought precious firstborn issues were reserved for human babies - sounds like she’s having it for her new fluffballs too. Hope she relaxes, nothing you can do to protect outdoor cats from eating stuff they shouldn’t. Almost lost ours when she was about ten after managing to poison herself but that was the only Incident and she’s well over 20 now.

I have cats but your neighbour is insane.

You could pontificate back to her about how cats should always be kept indoors for their safety and send her some links from cat welfare websites for good measure.

Seriously though we keep our cats indoors 100% of the time because we live near a busy road.

"Oh, you've just rehomed some cats? Oh that's nice. What a coincidence, we are just about to get 2 massive dogs"

Just tell her it's up to her to keep her cats safe. I would not be changing my garden for such a CF.

I'm a massive cat lover and owned by two cats and I think what she's asked no demanded is very rude.

I know that I can't control what others do so my cats are indoors only and very happy. This is the only way you can keep them safe.

I can't wait to hear an update after you've spoken to the other neighbour/s...

This is next level bat-shittery, truly it is. I've also lived with cats AND rhododendrons in the past, no harm came to the (multiple, and often ridiculously stupid) cats and all lived happy and long lives!

I think your garden sounds lovely ☺️. Please do come back and share after you’ve had a nice chat to your other nice neighbour post her visit from ‘all your gardens is belong to me’ lady!!

I personally think you need to do the right thing and remove the plants/shrubs that are poisonous and then plant them in neighbours garden. I'm sure that would go down well

I totally get why you'd want to keep those plants, especially since they have sentimental value. Maybe you could have a chat with your neighbor and explain how much those shrubs mean to you?

This

Where do people get this kind of confidence? Honestly! If my cat died in your garden I’d probably apologize to you for not containing it better. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂