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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ex sending DC back sick?

109 replies

nc235 · 01/04/2024 16:00

Is it okay and just part of co-parenting?

50/50 arrangement, 3 DC.

Ex has just taken them on holiday for a week, lovely for them all.

Have been returned today and 2/3 children have sickness and diarrhoea. Oldest child who is a teen says this began on the last night of the holiday.

Ex has not mentioned prior to dropping kids back, we usually get along pretty well although issues historically.

Have not said anything yet, but WIBU to ask why he didn't tell me? And is it reasonable to send them back with a sickness bug or would you usually try and keep that to one house (as I imagine I would do)?

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 01/04/2024 16:37

It would have been courteous of him to have told you but not unreasonable to return them.

I'd want my dc back in my care if they are ill. My ex is totally selfish and doesn't give a toss for anyone's convenience but his own, so he can't be trusted to look after a sick child.

Dewdilly · 01/04/2024 16:27

He should have told you but no reason the kids couldn’t back to yours as expected.

Mummame2222 · 01/04/2024 16:25

I let ex know when the kids are ill but they go regardless. It’s a custody arrangement, he’s not baby sitting.

Original poster
nc235 · 01/04/2024 16:24

Thanks all. Sorry I hope it doesn't sound like I don't want them or don't want to look after my sick children, of course I want them.

I'm just thinking what I would have done. They aren't babies they are late primary and teens.

If it was me I would have kept them with me a few extra days as to not pass the bug on to a different house. In previous circumstances where there have been illnesses on my end like covid, I kept the children here to avoid passing on. Colds etc fine.

OP posts:
PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 01/04/2024 16:17

The lack of communication was inconsiderate but if it’s your time on 50/50 then he’s right to send them back.

You could always ask him to take them if they are sick and worried about a new baby. I say you both need better communication

mypart · 01/04/2024 16:16

i actively want mine back with me when they’re sick personally

Kittenkitty · 01/04/2024 16:15

It’s inconsiderate but not unreasonable.

Original poster
nc235 · 01/04/2024 16:13

Thanks @BookArt. I obviously want them back and missed them terribly.

I think my feelings are skewed a bit as I'm quite an anxious person and I have a young baby as well so I'm worried of this going through the house.

OP posts:
BookArt · 01/04/2024 16:09

I think it should be communicated as soon as children are sick. But I would want the children back if it was my time as that is the routine and what the children would be expecting.