DH and ironing issue

DP and I don't live together yet.
But I spend ages ironing my family's clothes.
On the other hand, he does his washing on a 30 min quick wash-spins hangs all the hangable clothes on hangers and dries with a dehumidifier. Very few creases.

We do differ on how to vacuum though but it's not an argument or a bicker. More of an observation. sharing a technique.

My ex never ironed because it was a woman's work, so I stopped ironing his stuff and he was happy to go around looking like he'd just got out of bed.
The worst of this was that after a long period of unemployment during which I had to pay for everything, he went to the interview in a horribly crumpled shirt and a suit that looked like he has been keeping it screwed up under the mattress.
He didn't get the job. I said what do you expect looking like that. You haven't brushed your hair or cleaned your teeth and you look like you slept in your clothes. He thought this was quite normal.

You were both unreasonable

DH was unreasonable for doing a poor job

You were unreasonable for your second comment about hoping everything else isn't creased- it sounds like you hadn't seen the rest of the ironing at this point and is passive aggressive

DH was unreasonable to huff off after this comment (though I can understand why he did)

However, this all largely insignificant when you mention this is only an example of ongoing bickering between between you two, and points to larger relationship problems that need working out

Exactly, @MonsteraMama - that was my question upthread.
It's not the ironing, it's the relationship.

Sod the ironing and your nitpicking for a sec.

Four days together and you're bickering and arguing? That's not normal. Why are you married to someone you don't get on with to the extent that four measly days in each other's company is enough for you to be actually falling out over something as innocuous as ironing?

You didn't realise people under 80 still ironed @Solocup ? How strange. Stranger still is the implicit criticism, and weird age reference.
Some of us don't wfh or don't spend all day in leggings and sweatshirts, or wear drip dry polyester.
I have to look smart for work and like natural fabrics, so I will iron my clothes so that I am neat and presentable.

Any story that includes ironing is unreasonable. I didn’t realise people under 80 still ironed.
someone nitpicking at me over a completely pointless task would piss me off too. Why argue when there’s so many nicer things to do?!

I believe that people should do what they’re better at. I’m better at ironing than DH. He’s way better at cooking and washing the floors and cleaning the car and mostly gardening. As well as tech stuff. I’m better at bathrooms and noticing dust.

If I was in his shoes, I would just refuse to iron anything other than his own clothes from that point forward

This sounds frustrating for both of you. It’s hard when dc are young and the chores feel never ending.

I think this is one of those situations where, if the roles were reversed and you were posting about your dh criticising your ironing, the responses would be quite different.

I think you have highlighted the bigger issue. I am another non ironer - I couldn’t care less if a dress had some creases and wouldn’t buy one that creased easily. You aren’t getting time together and are irritating each other - what can you do to change that? Outsource something, lower standards, timetable your fun time? Do something!

Or just don't bother? Creases fall out after a bit of wear.

The only thing I iron is on the very, very rare occasion I need to dress smartly.

Other than that, nope. Life is too short.

Yes my first thought was 'you iron'?

I think it should become a thing of the past. I can't remember the last time I ironed anything.

But then I suppose you'll be bickering about the dishwasher or similar.

I agree you both need to get out of the house individually or together

You're both being unreasonable for arguing over a totally pointless job.

But it's not nice to pick at someone for not doing something to your standards. DH complained about how I did his washing once - I haven't touched it since and that was 4+ years ago

Yabu. Who wants someone to backseat iron for them.
Ironing isn't even a nessiccary job - I only iron smart occasionall clothes. If there's a few creases in something the world won't end. I would have put the iron down and told you to do it yourself if you were that bothered.

Honestly it's unhealthy to nit pick at each other like this. It's not normal to be bickering so much after a few days at home together. Your relationship is going to fall apart over very pointless tasks like ironing in the long run

Just sounds like one of those little squabbles that people have.

You didn't mean anything much by what you said, he took it slightly the wrong way. It's no big deal.

That said, stop ironing. It's pointless.

Fold straight from the tumble drier. Job done.

It’s his time he’s wasting. He wasn’t even asked to do the ironing. I’d be so pissed off if someone did what OP did.

Both BU for owning an iron.

I haven't ironed anything since 2011, absolute waste of time, especially for children's clothes.

You were rude.
The ironing isn't the issue, though, is it?
Why do you argue all the time when you're off together, instead of enjoying each other's company?
That's what you need to talk about.

Their ideas of properly aren’t different through. The guy new is was still creased and not actually ironed, he even said he has the iron turned down too low so the creases didn’t come out. He knew it… looked at it… then decided “fuck it” because he couldn’t be bothered doing it properly. If he genuinely thought it was fine, then that’s a different issue. But he knew he hasn’t done the ironing, and was hanging up the clothes anyway rather than fix his mistake. And it didn’t just affect him; his kids have to look unkempt because of him? No. Do your job properly.