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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I being impulsive with this decision?

39 replies

Mojitowithelfreako · 01/04/2024 10:09

Basically I've had a few run in's with my next door neighbour over the years. He is terrifying, shouts, calls me abusive names, swears at me in front of my children. Its all over noise, any amount of noise. It's not frequent enough for the police to intervene. The council know he is a problem but he manages to leave enough time between incidents to not get evicted.
I feel very on edge using my garden. I can't sit out there. If my children are out there I feel I have to get them in as quickly as possible.
I should point out that I am not an anxious person. I have abuse thrown at me regularly in my job and I am used to being sworn at. This is different as I'm in my house and it's my safe space. I don't have any trauma related to being shouted by men.
I'm thinking about renting my house out and renting somewhere else. I can't face another summer of feeling on edge and explaining to my children why they can't kids from school over to play in the garden.
But then I would subject the tenants to him. Would there be people out there who would just tell him to do one and not worry?
I can't sell as he has made it impossible due to his antisocial behaviour. My house was on the market for a year before but after a few failed attempts I couldn't afford to keep paying for surveys and solicitors. I spent all my savings on trying to escape.
I feel so trapped but I can't live like this anymore.

OP posts:
Gymmum82 · 01/04/2024 11:04

Mojitowithelfreako · 01/04/2024 11:02

I'm sorry but it's all very well saying this but I'm a woman who lives alone and this man had to have a riot van when the police last cautioned him and asked to see inside the property. It's not as easy as all that.

What is he actually going to do? Other than shout and swear at you?

DanielGault · 01/04/2024 11:03

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 01/04/2024 10:57

Well you're not getting one.
So you need to fight for your children sake.
It's not fair but there's no use getting upset over that.

Have your phone on you and call the police straight away. He is aggressive and violent and you fear for all your safety. They should respond quickly. And it won't take long before you have enough evidence to get rid of him.

Show quote history

Exactly this. You're not getting an easy life at all, it sounds like you're living on your nerves. If you do nothing, nothing will change. This prick is a bully who's enjoying being a dick without being challenged.

Original poster
Mojitowithelfreako · 01/04/2024 11:02

I'm sorry but it's all very well saying this but I'm a woman who lives alone and this man had to have a riot van when the police last cautioned him and asked to see inside the property. It's not as easy as all that.

OP posts:
Prinnny · 01/04/2024 11:02

What would happen if you just did what you want and lived your life? What would he actually do?

Gymmum82 · 01/04/2024 11:01

Agree with everyone else. He has learnt that by throwing his weight around he gets what he wants. Time to make that stop. Get out there every single day in your garden. When he starts call the police and repeat every day until he gets the message that you are no longer bowing to his demands. Then hopefully the council will be forced to move him with so many police reports of aggression

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 01/04/2024 10:57

Mojitowithelfreako · 01/04/2024 10:55

@Wibblywobblylikejelly it's not relaxing for me though. I work hard I just want an easy life, I don't want to antagonise someone. He has nothing to lose. It's just too stressful to sit out there and let them play. He is unhinged.

Well you're not getting one.
So you need to fight for your children sake.
It's not fair but there's no use getting upset over that.

Have your phone on you and call the police straight away. He is aggressive and violent and you fear for all your safety. They should respond quickly. And it won't take long before you have enough evidence to get rid of him.

Original poster
Mojitowithelfreako · 01/04/2024 10:55

@Wibblywobblylikejelly it's not relaxing for me though. I work hard I just want an easy life, I don't want to antagonise someone. He has nothing to lose. It's just too stressful to sit out there and let them play. He is unhinged.

OP posts:
DanielGault · 01/04/2024 10:53

Oh and tell friends and relatives everything. Tell them in writing. Treat this guy like a dangerous predator who needs locking up.

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 01/04/2024 10:52

So the only reason it's not happening frequently is because you avoid it?

You've got to stop. You have got to be brave and follow through.

Go out, get your kids out every single day. And then the moment he starts call the police. Every time.

You want this problem solved this is the only way. Otherwise you just have to sit inside with your kids.

DanielGault · 01/04/2024 10:51

Mojitowithelfreako · 01/04/2024 10:46

@DanielGault they have before. It makes him quiet for a bit but then it starts again. It's not really the frequency but the viciousness. And the impact on my sense of security.

I'm so sorry. You have to keep reporting though. Build up your case. It's not right that you're having to live like this. It's in no way normal and you shouldn't put up with it. Keep reporting. Make them listen to you. And avail of all and any organisations to assist you. Women's Aid etc. Massive hugs x

determinedtomakethiswork · 01/04/2024 10:50

I don't know what you should do I'm afraid. I wouldn't want to put anyone in there and expect them to cope. I would worry that they would disappear without paying rent etc and I wouldn't be able to blame them.

icelollycraving · 01/04/2024 10:48

I think then you’d be expected to sort out issues from your tenants.
Is he intimidating you? Report each and every time.

Original poster
Mojitowithelfreako · 01/04/2024 10:46

@DanielGault they have before. It makes him quiet for a bit but then it starts again. It's not really the frequency but the viciousness. And the impact on my sense of security.

OP posts:
DanielGault · 01/04/2024 10:38

It sounds like his behaviour requires police intervention tbh. If you do nothing, nothing will change. He's harassing you. A visit from the police might soften his cough. At the very least you'll have something on record about him. What an awful specimen.