Found first baby holiday so stressful

The only holidays I would do (I a lone parent) with my daughter until she was about 8 were really good hotels/apartmenthotels with kids clubs. Self catering is shite, it's all the same crap like at home but harder.

My advice, save up and go somewhere with Scott Dunn. Amazing kids clubs.

I remember our first holiday with DS1 when he was 9 months old. We went to a villa in Italy, I was looking forward to it so much. Turns out there was an unfenced pool, DS couldn't walk yet but he could crawl really fast and obviously he kept crawling towards the pool. He didn't sleep well in an unfamiliar place so we were all tired. Really not as relaxing as I'd hoped!

Don't feel like a failure OP. It will be easier in a couple of years.

It is so stressful! We did 2 weeks in Devon and Cornwall with a 4m old and it was very much try and time the drive out of accommodation for first nap then make sure your drive back was for afternoon nap. Very rigid we tried eating out for dinner once and ended up in a lovely restaurant overlooking Cornish Beach one of us shoveling food in whilst the other walked round with a grumpy baby.

We were going to go on holiday when she was about 20m and decided couldn't be asked with the hassle and again have cancelled this year the thought if having to lug her small selection of food she does it through customs was too much, coupled with the fact trying to find somewhere we would want to go and catered for DC was 4k+

It's bloody depressing as pre covid going away on trips and planning holidays was what kept me going through daily motions.

I would try and go with a weekend away in a premier inn type place we did Chicester and visited local place over long weekend

I’m with you op. We didn’t do any holidays with DS until he was nearly 4 (and that first holiday was lovely!)

Before that even a simple day out would end up with one of us in tears, lots of arguing and wondering why we wasted the money. So there was no way we were booking holidays. I know people say you have to change your expectations but it’s just stressful and not enjoyable.

We tried to take dd on a city break to Brussels Christmas markets, where we'd been regularly for the past few years. We took both sets of grandparents (paid for them) and it was so awful I swore off holidays like it and still swerve them a decade later.

I go for families friendly sites where we can all have our own room in self catering accommodation so it's as flexible as we need it to be. We went to Butlins tots weeks where there's loads included, Parkdean, Haven etc. We could park outside the caravan and enjoy an easy day out or use the facilities on site. Most other people had children too (in fact it's a condition of some Butlins tots weeks that you have an under 5 year old everyone is in the same boat. We've had some lovely breaks but needed to completely change the way we did things.

We're trying again now dd is older and can enjoy things with us (or at least keep her mits off the artwork 😂).

With small children it's best to go with very few expectations and plans that don't go beyond a walk and a meal out. I love both so I'd be happy but for others it wouldn't be much of a holiday.

Sympathies @Gretnafrew

We went to the Lakes when our son was a similar age. We absolutely love the lakes and it wasn't too far from home. Stayed in a cottage we had stayed in before.
It was absolutely hideous. DS hated everything - didn't sleep well and just whinged all week. I came home thinking we would never go on holiday again 😂

We went back a year later when he was almost 2 and it was so much easier and we did have a good time. He was walking by then and fully weaned which made things far easier. We spent lots of time outside where he could run around etc. He slept well.

I found holidays from age 3+ great. We did UK holidays when he was young - Devon/Cornwall usually (with an Autumn/Winter week in the Lakes). Always stayed in self catering cottages so he could have his own room and there was usually a small garden.

Last year, we finally got abroad (covid had stopped us going earlier). We went to Austria (he was 9), flew and stayed in a hotel, all in one room. It was amazing from start to finish and we are going back this year.

Basically, I found holidays with a baby stressful and not at all enjoyable but it will get better!

I agree travel with children is not relaxing, but I did appreciate the change of scene. You have to base the holiday around the same activities you would do at home - pottering to the ducks, playgrounds - but at least they are different playgrounds!

We travelled to Denmark when our eldest was 6 months old and it was great. During the older baby/ toddler years I refused to go abroad - the thought of entertaining an energetic toddler on a plane - no thank you.

Even though we try to keep the routine on one holiday, the excitement and change of sleeping arrangements used to disrupt our child's sleep so much. I remember one where our toddler couldn't get to sleep before 10pm and was up at 4am every day- obviously then tired and grumpy.

Don't believe everything you see on Instagram they are selling you a lifestyle.

Some children will be placid, flexible children happy to go along with parents plans others will not. Parent the way your child needs you too.

So true!

I've personally always preferred to be out and about than indoors with my daughter and whilst we've a looseish routine we've always been far from strict with our routine preferring to take the consequences of her being overly tired or stimulated occasionally in return for freedom I couldn't do it at home and definitely won't do it on holiday.

When we went abroad the most difficult part was the coach transfer she hated it.

When we were there we just pottered around the complex and into the local towns downside was we were in an hotel room so when she went to bed at night although we made her bedtime later than usual there was a limit on how much later and we had to go to bed at the same time.

What was the issue? I travelled with mine extensively from birth, and it was never a problem. Perhaps I'm just a really chilled out parent style wise (cosleeping, extended breastfeeding, fed them our food not baby food) but I found it far easier pre school age as they didn't have an opinion on everything!

If you describe the issues perhaps I can give you specific advice but in general the key is to do things you enjoy and the kids adapt eg ours would be out hiking all day at that age, stopping every couple of hours to feed, and let them toddle about (early walkers) by 3 dd1 was walking 6 miles herself, with shoulder rides if needed. Dd2 was a bit lazier preferring the back pack until 4. I always took a buggy, then double buggy for evenings so we could head out but I never had strict bedtimes so often they would be awake, they always loved eating out

It's not a holiday for you with young kids, it's basically uprooting your daily routine and putting it into a hostile environment.

We had quite a few years where we just didn't bother and had nice days out instead. Once we did start it, we stopped booking cottages and stayed at places like Haven or Centre Parcs where there was always something to occupy the kids. Our idea of hell but it was just a phase.

I took dd on lots of short breaks and abroad when she was a baby. I think if helped that I was fairly young and didn't overthink it.

Dd wasn't an easy baby but in my head I thought I'd rather be out and about somewhere nice with her crying than at home going mad!

I loved travelling with mine when they were little.

i always felt like a shit mum because mine had no routine so adapted pretty well.

i think whatever we do we think we're crap when actually we're all doing our best and a pretty good job!

so holidays don't suit you at the moment? So what? Don't worry about it, you can plan some lovely stuff when he's older.

You’re not alone. Some babies are extremely portable, others not. My twins are 6 and we’ve not just started to do proper holidays now as it just wasn’t worth it when they were younger.

This is a bit negative IMO.

No it’s not the same as pre-kids. We aren’t going kite surfing or to fine dining establishments, out in bars.

But we have travelled loads with ours and it’s been fine! Fun!

My only caveat to that is no self-catering. I do not want to be cooking, tidying and doing washing up.

I have never had a routine but it is hard on holiday.
When I had one child I was constantly going away. I’ve now got two. I think I’d go more though if it wasn’t so expensive post covid.
generally I only do short trips

I think it depends on the baby to some extent. We have a 2.5yr old and have been away 10 times since they were about 3m.

I love holidays, and we really wanted to make the most of travelling in term time. We started off with mostly city breaks. Like a previous poster said, we never had a routine and we were also blessed with a great night sleeper.

We always book an air B&B with a cot and a washing machine so we can take the minimum amount. We go out in the day, go out for lunch, then have dinner in the apartment when the child is in bed. We’ve always had a great time. We’ve done more beach type holidays recently and they’ve been brilliant (not usually our cup of tea), our child loves playing in the sand. We hired a car and tend to do at least one activity a day, and dinner as usual in the villa. We had our own pool and this was brilliant, our child loved swimming and was so relaxing without other people splashing about!

Currently planning another holiday, after our winter sun break, really looking forward to it!!

The 'I just stuck my baby in a backpack and travelled round the world' is the equivalent of the Mumsnet chicken feeding 4 people for a fortnight.

I agree op, it's not worth it

We did holidays with friends with children of a similar age and relaxed by doing very little and cooking in the holiday accommodation each night. Best tip was to avoid any accommodation with its own pool and instead took a small paddling pool for the toddlers to use in the garden. Babysat for each other for one meal out in the week we were there.

I still find travelling with the children stressful although they are school age so it's much easier in terms of what stuff we need. I suspect having the dog with you does make it harder as you are restricted in terms of indoor places which would make it trickier esp if weather not good. But as toddlers it was basically still spending hours at a play park, just a different play park... And as babies still the naps, feeding, broken sleep in a different location....

I think 11 months is an awkward age as they want to be on the move / are cruising, but are a danger to themselves / outdoors difficult if weather not perfect. We went on a holiday at this age and I remember it being incredibly frustrating as I was having to watch the baby every second, and nothing was really suitable for cruising.

We have travelled quite a bit with ours, and the most important ‘adaptation’ for us has been disrupting the routine a bit.

Sleep schedules: sleeping in a carrier (allowing us to be out and about eg hiking in lakes), sleeping in pram (allowing lunch / dinner out), pushing bedtime so we can go for dinner / to pub (this hasn’t always been successful).

Food: accepting they’ll probably eat at the wrong time, loads of snacks etc

I find the best trips are:

• Basically pottering about
• Low expectation
• Often accommodation with a bar/restaurant so we can feel like we have a ‘night out’ after bed time (with video baby monitor on).

Our most successful small kid holidays have been beach trips where they can play in sand, back home for a nap / sunbathing for grown ups / late lunch when they wake up / more beach or park in afternoon / Tea / Bed / Evening dinner for grown ups (or - taking them out for dinner and falling asleep in pram). No expectations, no commitments, just easy.

Anything city break-ish is really hard work babies of that age. Wandering around towns with a buggy and trying to have a pub lunch is just a more intense version what you are doing at home without all the comforts. I can’t imagine the weather was great either.

Sun holidays were honestly more enjoyable at that age, even if it isn’t your bag now.

Nice sunny walk in the mornings, stop for a coffee and juice.
Back to the villa for a play or a swim.
Usually a pushchair nap for mid morning then I’d wheel them into a dark room- still in pram.
DH and me could then have time together before tag teaming in the afternoon so we each got some relaxation time. It felt like an actual break for us.
Dinner out, home, drinks on the balcony, peeping in on the baby.

It’s different- but there honestly is a way to have a nice holiday with a baby of that age. But it needs to be something more relaxing and at a slower pace.

If you like to holiday in the UK- then holiday/caravan parks with pools and soft plays will allow you to tire them out a bit in the morning, get the nap out of the way, and then hopefully they are more refreshed for some exploring in the afternoon

We did a 3 week road trip around Europe with a 14 month old (wasn’t walking yet), it is just as much work as home but at least you’re seeing new places. It’s never going to be relaxing and recharging but it’s a change of scenery. You just have to reframe the ‘holiday’ in your mind.