Found first baby holiday so stressful

I think this is one of those things where it totally depends on the child and your parenting style.
travelling with my kids was super easy, but they were all fairly laid back kids and I was a very chill parent that didn’t sweat the small stuff, or panic over routines, force them to sleep in dark rooms with silence etc. they were used to restaurants etc. but when I then took my nephew out for a day it was a whole different experience because of the life he was used to and his temperament.

Another reason why I don't have kids.
Finding at least one a day.
😁

Your basis for reality being Instagram was the first problem. Half the people there have shown the one photo of the day they managed to get where the baby wasn't screaming, and the other half have an entourage of mum and nanny.

Also a holiday involving a dog and a baby sounds generally hellish.

I think you did well all things considered.

Agree with posters saying it depends on the baby and it depends where you go. We went on an all-inclusive beach holiday when our second DD was ten weeks old, and older DD was a couple of months away from turning 4. It was great - I lay on a sun lounger feeding/holding sleeping baby, watching DH play in the water with our older girl. Sometimes DH would hold the baby while I splashed about with the elder in the pool. As it was all-inclusive, meals were relaxed and available whenever we wanted; obviously we didn't drink much but we ate our body weight in ice creams and cakes. Bedtime was usually 10pm for everyone (baby would fall asleep in buggy as we watched the shows in the evening) which is much later for our older daughter than at home, but she coped fine on it and just slept in a bit later than usual in the morning (8am).

It was a fantastic week.

HOWEVER . . . we're going away again next month, when the baby will be nine months old. I think it might be a bit harder with a baby that will want to crawl around and eat some solid food at mealtimes, but we'll see.

This thread just shows how different everyone is. All inclusive stuck round a pool for a week isn’t my idea of fun but plenty of people love it. For us with DC, self catering holidays with plenty of our own space have been great from when they were very small (we first took dc1 away at 6 weeks old). It’s the change of scenery for me and being able to explore different places; I also like being able to take plenty of home comforts with us so cottage + driving (in Europe) have been our main hols. DC1 definitely wasn’t a chilled baby, but in a way that was easier as they didn’t nap well so I never felt I needed to be wedded to a routine with that. Bedtime we did stick to but then being in a self catering place means you aren’t stuck in a hotel room being silent or in the bathroom drinking wine which is what some of our friends always end up doing 😂

Now you’ve done it, OP, you’ll have more of an idea what to expect next time and it won’t feel so tough. And it’s ok for us all to like different things & make different decisions.

What part did you find hard? Maybe people could suggest things to help? Are you particularly rigid with naps?

We took our eldest from 3 months on short breaks in the UK but never for longer than a long weekend. We also realised that we couldn't be out all day, for instance she might nap in a sreollee at lunchtime but then needed to be back at the hotel room for bed so we ordered room service or a takeaway. If we let her nap in the hotel room at lunch them she would be fine whilst we were out for dinner in the evening, however we would eat early eg. 6pm so we could be done dusted by time she started to get tired. We had a rough itinerary but we're very much child led. I also didn't consider self catering as neither of us wanted to cook or clean as we did enough of that at home.

Oooh - also massively recommend the sun tents that you can get for tiny ones. Baby ds could feed or nap in them, dd could come in if she was feeling too hot or we wanted her to sit down and have a snack.

The only snag was that my dad discovered that the tent was far superior to a parasol for reading his paper in and so basically moved in!

I'm currently sat feeding my son to sleep in the Lakes, and unfortunately it's just the wrong age to have a baby holiday here.

Unless they like the car, there will always be a limited amount in immediate range of the Lakes, so you're toying up naps Vs energy Vs entertainment etc.

The trip at 10 weeks was much easier!

For your next holiday, I recommend picking your nearest seaside town and get generous sized accommodation in case the weather is crap. Then take half a day off each whilst the other tires the baby out on the beach.

Everything is easier at home. We took our 1 year old to Mallorca, what a living nightmare that was. I couldn’t wait to come home. All these people said ‘oh she’ll nap in her buggy in the shade and you can read by the pool’ or ‘take the baby out with you in the buggy at night and then she’ll sleep in late in the mornings!’ What a load of tripe.

As they’ve got older I’m not sure it’s even got easier, well actually it probably is easier but it’s never ever relaxing, whenever we stay somewhere new the excitement levels are through the roof and getting them to bed is always hard. Holidays are just hard work, they are rarely relaxing anymore.

We liked all inclusive in the Canaries.

Someone else would do all the cooking, someone else would come into the room 3 times a week and sweep up all the sand, the pool was warm enough to go in for hours even with a baby, the out of pool temperature was hot enough that the toddler didn’t ever need drying as she just dried in the sun (recommend sun suits), beach nearby where the toddler would happily dig for hours (once she had got over her fear of sand - originally we had to carry her to the right spot, the put a towel down for her to stand on while she dug and then keep moving her and the towel so that she could keep digging without ever actually touching the sand 😂 but it worked!)

We also found taking one or other set of parents ridiculously helpful as well. It wasn’t that we expected them to do lots of childcare (we didn’t and they didn’t!) but just having extra adult bodies makes life much simpler. For example my dad tended to look at babies like they were unexploded bombs but he was quite happy to sit and read the paper in the airport whilst surrounded by two trunkis, three rucksacks and a half eaten sandwich while I took ds to change his nappy and Dh took dd to buy water.

We always stuck to self catering accommodation when the DC were little - home from home is so much easier. As a PP said it’s the change of scenery we craved so we weren’t fussed that we still had to sort our own food. We loved our holidays 🥰

I 100% relate OP. I have a friend who's constantly gone on holiday since her son was born - Disneyland, cruises etc. However they ALWAYS go with the grandparents.

However when me and DH took our then 6 month old on a package sun holiday I wanted to tear my hair out....😔 I too felt like a failure.

IME babies generally don't like holidays. They like familiar surroundings and routines, usually get very unsettled and don't sleep. After the first one, we didn't bother any more until dc were much older. Self catering with babies/ toddlers is more exhausting than being at home.

@Gretnafrew we haven't done much traveling with our little one. The holidays we have had have all been in the UK. We've rented a holiday house / cottage for a week or gone to centre parcs. Own space / bedrooms / meals can be in or out. Can take other family / friends along easily for help. We do fancy a beach holiday, but probably not for another few years. Lots of time for more adventurous holidays once kids are older and easier to manage (hopefully). Saving a few pennies for now.

Also, I don't follow any kind of baby / child stuff on social media. I can imagine the fomo the makes you feel awful, so I don't bother with any of it.

I remember my first holiday with a baby. I was used to chilling out with a book on holiday and the change was a shock to me! I have enjoyed holidays since though, including with DC2 when they were a baby. You have to adjust your expectations about what you're going to do while you're away and I found self-catering accommodation best. Also I didn't travel in the first few months. Better to wait until baby is at least 9/10 months IMO.

We have a 3 year old and 1 year old. Have been on several UK holidays with one or both and we also had a weekend away with them to get married. Tbh for us being out and about or on holiday is probably less stressful than being at home. 3 year old is the least chilled child possible (loads of emotions, full of energy, low sleep needs, everything is a battle) but when we are out she is much better. We only have loose routines e.g. they both nap/napped as and when they are tired, usually in buggy or car, and betime moves according to how naps went. As others have said, I think not having a strict routine is helpful when it comes to holidays as we just go with the flow.

Sorry you had a rough time op but this is parenting. Not all babies and children like changes in their routine. Holidays with a young family can have their fun moments but basically it's the same shit but in an unfamiliar place which means it's hard work.

I always liked going away with my baby and didn’t find it more difficult than being at home. But my baby was an awful sleeper who coslept more than he slept in his cot, an unpredictable eater who liked breastmilk but was super hit and miss with everything else for a long time, and he preferred napping in his pushchair to just about any other place. For me it far more soul destroying sitting in his room all afternoon trying to get him to nap in his cot than it was spending the afternoon walking round somewhere pleasant knowing he’d likely drop off to sleep in his pushchair when he felt tired.

@Eyeballpaula

I agree, think it’s down to the child. We did mixed feeding, never coslept and our child was a dream child to travel with. Always slept a solid 12 hrs at night with no waking, adaptable to most situations, good in restaurants. I doubt this is anything to do with our parenting or how laid back we were or not!

Completely agree about self-catering.

I appreciate it’s nice to have the space of an apartment / villa, but having to cook and tidy up… no thanks.

We didn’t travel with young children. I know plenty of people do, but mentally I was struggling when DC1 was small and there is only 23 months between them; I just couldn’t hack it. We did do a few UK things once DC2 arrived, first time was good old midweek at center parcs, with a 2.5yo and a 9mo - that was ok, as it is well set up for that kind of thing, but we ended up heading home on our final night because the baby had a nasty virus. We then did holiday cottages etc. just as the kids were getting big enough to explore more then covid hit.

we did our first overseas trip last year with them aged 6&8 and went for a resort holiday - that was a dream, enough to keep everyone occupied and the first truly enjoyable holiday for me post kids. We have since been skiing (pretty good) and as I type I’m back at a pretty slick resort overlooking the sea. We are doing ok but DH is doing lots of cycling and the kids are rejecting kids club so we are finding the balance hard this time. They would like to be on their iPads all day if allowed.

I am entertained by the families who have travelled with very young children; I flit between taking my hat off to them because they are brave and out there doing it, and feeling a bit sad that we missed those moments with young kids. At the same time I can see that they are experiencing the same crap in a different location and it does not look easy.

Whenever we travelled we did one major outing (say four hours including lunch) then the afternoon a more chilled activity of just relaxing/reading or one stay with baby if the other went to the shops or whatever. Baby slept in the pushchair when out if needed. An airbnb was easier than a hotel as we could set our own schedule.
Maybe we had chilled kids but it was not hard. We travelled first when my son was six weeks old.

It can be done but obviously you have to completely adjust your expectations compared to the sort of holidays you had pre kids. We've managed long weekends away in France and Belgium. Basically you need to plan your day around the baby's naps and eat out at lunchtime if you are going to. Then cook at home or get a takeaway in the evening. Obviously you need a holiday apartment with a separate bedroom rather than a hotel room because no one wants to sit in the dark from 7pm while their baby sleeps in the same bedroom. This summer we are planning our first proper family holiday and our kids will be 3 and 18 months. Even then, all the above still applies. I am glad we've never tried to do anything expensive or long haul with toddlers because it doesn't look worth it.

Really glad you managed to travel successfully with young children.

I think you also have to take the child's temperament into account. I EBF, did BLW used slings and am very laid back, but even with all this my children struggled to settle in new environments. My eldest would become hyperactive if she wasn't in bed for 6.30pm until about the age of 5. The times we let her stay up late we regretted and even friends they could see why we stuck to 6.30pm bedtime. My youngest wasn't like this. We could have stuck her in a buggy and she would have nodded off.

They are now both school age and travel is far easier

We always went on holidays and yes they were different from pre DC holidays but were still fun
I was rubbish at getting them into a routine though
Currently on an Easter break with 2 of mine ,now in early 20s